Waiting for Goffman

As I said, one of the things I would like this blog to be is a sort of backstage look at the ideas that inform "Miss Conduct." In this week's column, I answered a question from an emergency-room doctor who is bothered by patients mentioning how young he looks.

My answer was heavily informed by my reading of sociologist Erving Goffman. Goffman took what he called a "dramaturgical perspective" to human behavior--in other words, he saw most social interaction as a form of theater. What kind of role are you playing at any given point? And are the people around you helping to sustain that role, or are they subverting you?

Here's how Goffman helped me understand the young doctor's question. When patients told him he looked young, this made him feel (I suspect) that they were undermining his role as an authoritative doctor figure. This is why it bothered him in that particular context. It's no insult to be told you look young per se. I doubt he'd have been upset had he been carded by a fine-looking bartender who then expressed amazement at finding out his real age. Being told he looks young wouldn't undermine his identity as an attractive hipster-about-town. But he did feel undermined as a doctor.

However, as I pointed out, the patient who are making this comment aren't trying to undermine his "doctor" identity, they are trying to transcend their own identity as patients. By showing that they can make small talk, they are saying, "Don't just see me as a lump of wounded flesh! I'm a real person, observant and socially competent!" So I suggested that, rather than worry about protecting his identity as doctor, he focus instead on bolstering the patients' identities as whole people.

I hope he found the advice helpful, and that you enjoyed this backstage look at "Miss Conduct." If you want to read Goffman, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life or Stigma are the places to start. Beware, though--he was a terrible writer. The ideas are great but about half the time I'm reading Goffman I'm thinking, "Wow, I wish I could read German so I didn't have to read this in translation."

Then I remember he was writing in English. Seriously, he's that bad. But the ideas will break your head open.