Language games
A couple of good letters came in suggesting that J.G. of San Juan can continue speaking Spanish even when someone responds in English:
I am a missionary in Taipei, Taiwan and speak Mandarin Chinese. When we arrived we found that many locals wanted to practice their English on us just as we wished to take advantage of every opportunity to improve our Chinese. It became a game. They speak English, we reply in Chinese, they reply in English.....The one who lasts longest before reverting to his native tongue wins the game! At first we always lost, but as time went by we started to win and now we almost always win. Both parties get to practice and you can tell if you were not clearly understood by the response. We never had anyone get upset. It is really a win/win game!
Another reader writes:
During our honeymoon in Israel, we were somewhat surprised to hear our Jewish Israeli guide speaking to an Arab shopkeeper in Arabic, while the shopkeeper responded in Hebrew. Although the motivation for this asymmetry, demonstrating mutual respect, was different than that of JG, it did show the possibility.
These are great anecdotes. With people J.G. isn't familiar with, however, it might be good to follow their lead on what language they want to speak, just to avoid giving any possible offense. And speaking of giving offense in other countries, another reader writes (in response to this "My Word"):
I found the mnemonic for remembering which is one's glass interesting, but it might have been worth cautioning readers that the "OK" sign is definitely not OK (and is in fact considered downright vulgar) in at least in some parts of Latin America, so one should be circumspect about relying on it. It's probably safer, when in doubt, to wait and see which glass your neighbor goes for (and hope it isn't yours).
Well, yes. Even in the U.S., you make the "OK" sign under the table, or mentally, because who wants to admit that despite being a grown person they still can't remember which water glass they're supposed to drink from? And you NEVER make hand gestures in a foreign country. Ever. Except for that universally understood writing-on-the-air accompanied-by-quizzical-look that means, "Check, please."
Who is Miss Conduct?
Robin Abrahams writes the weekly "Miss Conduct" column for The Boston Globe Magazine. Robin, who has a PhD in psychology from Boston University, has worked as a theater publicist, organizational-change communications manager, editor, stand-up comedian, and professor of psychology and English. She lives in Cambridge with her husband, Marc Abrahams, founder of the Ig Nobel Prizes, which are given annually for achievements that first make people laugh and then make them think.
