Money manners & the last taboo

Money, religion, bacon. It's what I'm all about. Let's talk about money some more. Interesting article in the NY Times this weekend about "the last taboo in American life: discussing salary openly with friends and colleagues."

(A quick Google search reveals some competition for "last taboo" status, including the supernatural, atheism, S&M, Zionism, anti-Zionism, discounted business-class airline seats, hurting puppies, cannibalism, sex among the elderly, menstruation, scatology, virginity, the recognition of Transdniestria as an independent nation, and death, which at least chronologically would seem to take the prize.)

According to the Times, people under 35 are much more likely to discuss their salary and financial information openly with friends (though not co-workers) than older generations have been. Multiple possible reasons are given for this: the availability of information on the internet; increased frequency in job-changing which requires both comparative knowledge of salaries in one's field, and also a good story for why one is changing jobs ("I felt the new company offered me better opportunities for growth" is a fine thing to say to one's soon-to-be ex-boss, but friends deserve a more honest, "Dude, they offered me $25K a year more!"); "a shared sense of struggle by people in their 20s, who have come of age in a turbulent economic time"; and of course a nice screechy "damn kids!" rationale from an Arizona State professor, who

... studies money attitudes among the young, [and] said that their relative lack of manners regarding salary can be traced to the self-esteem movement embraced by baby boomer parents.

“As they moved through primary and secondary school, the focus was always to avoid anything that might stifle their creativity or hem them in,” she said, which has bled into their sense of etiquette. “They’re special, and however they say things is very cute.”

Jeez. I'm no fan of narcissism, either, except as much as it takes to get you out of bed in the morning, but times change, lady. If different mores work for different people don't be a judgmental twit about it. One interviewee--no academic expert, just a 28-year-old who's comfortable sharing her salary info--had an insightful comment:

"For my generation, salary is one piece of the job satisfaction and self-worth puzzle, but not the only metric we use,” she wrote in an e-mail message. “Status is not just about money any more. Everyone knows you generally have to suffer to make a big income, so high-earners talk about their salary in the course of complaining — is all this worth $180,000? — while low-earners see their paltry salaries as a token of lifestyle freedom.”

What do you think? Comfy sharing your salary details with friends, or not? For the record, I am, as are most of my 50-and-younger friends. Of course, as with any personal information, you offer your own first and if the other person doesn't reciprocate, you change the subject. Just because it's now acceptable to discuss salary doesn't mean it's mandatory.

UPDATE: Thanks to all of you who have e-mailed me money stories and insights. I can't get back with you all individually, but I do appreciate it--you're sending in excellent stuff, and it's been very helpful.