To bless or not to bless

Personally, I usually give two gesundheits, and if the sneezing continues, make some comment/joke about it, and leave it at that. If it's outside of a work context, I'll again start with the gesundheits, but then I'll usually switch over to something I picked up from my high school Spanish teacher:

One sneeze: "Salud!" (Health)
Two sneezes: "Amor!" (Love)
Three sneezes: "Dinero!" (Money)
Four sneezes: "El gripe!" (The flu)

I have an office, but work across the hall from the reception desk. I am just as happy not having my sneezes acknowledged, but my approach when the office manager sneezes is usually to "gesundheit" the first one, ignore the next few, and then offer tissues/sympathy/cup of tea/whatever if it's continual. I'm not fully happy with this solution, as it can seem like you're pointing out a failing ("hey, I've got cough drops!" "Oh, sorry I'm making so much noise!" "No, really, I just have cough drops and thought you could use one"). But offering sneeze condolences every time also comes to seem rather pointed.
In non-work life I switch to "bless you, damn you!" after the third or fourth sneeze in a row.

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I agree with fillyjonk, and would rather not have sneezing acknowleged. What is the courteous point of acknowledging a sneeze at all? I know I sneezed. You know I sneezed. Neither of us can change the past. You could ask if I'm ill, or what I'm allergic to, if you're curious...or offer a kleenex if you are suspicious that I'm snotting all over the place. But really, disrupting everyone a second time over to say "Hey, did you know that I know you sneezed?" doesn't make much sense. And trying to acknowledge every ratty ol' sneeze just makes the long-term sneezer feel bad about sneezing so much and causing you to repeat yourself.
If it's only one sneeze, then really, how much sympathy does it really warrant?

I really honor the power of "bless-yous" to friends, family or strangers. It has nothing to do with the association or call to God; being an atheist, I don't see the necessity for him/her to get involved, neither do I get insulted by it because I am just not that uptight. The simple "bless-you" is one time we get to give or receive individual acknowledgment and express or absorb a moment of light compassion in our growing disconnected world. Especially to a stranger, who is probably feeling run down, a little acknowledgment just feels good - we all like to be acknowledged. I wish we would use more of these formal courtesies that in effect makes us feel special and honored. Of course these also go hand-in-hand with those formal courtesies that acknowledge that we really aren't any more special than anyone else.
I guess there is also an occourance factor just for practicality or maybe for comic relief or possibly to address unsocial behavior. It just isn't practical for everyone, in every multiple to show that much honor; although it is sometimes comical when everyone acknowledges the simultaneous, overabundance of good will - so why not? But to curb rude behavior, when it is good to show courtesy and compassion with a "bless-you," it might be appropriate to move on to "you must feel like going home to rest," with a box of tissues (hint-hint) when the sneezer, after a while, displays less than hygienic or disrespectful etiquette, and then perfectly acceptable to have them ticketed and escorted out of the office by guards after they spread their germs around, make others sick and miss work.
Please, "bless" away - if it really catches on to the point of mass-civilities, we can all at least have a good chuckle at the uber-sentimentality like a good Hallmark movie or those Coke "teach the world to sing" commercials bring out from me.

I also wonder if part of it might be that people start tuning out all the sneezing and other various sick sounds- especially once we really get deep into cold/flu season. Maybe it sort of becomes part of the background noise of the office? I share an office with 2 other people (forget about privacy!) and you'd be amazed what I can block out sometimes.

I'm a notorious sneezer and a notorious blesser. The bless you is out of habit and habit alone. I did have a teacher who said that his wife sneezes in chains of 6 or 7, so if someone's sneezing he waits that long to say bless you.

Here's another vote for not acknowledging every sneeze, even the single ones unless they're especially violent.

However, as someone who occasionally has sneezing "fits" and sneezes several times in a row, I would like to suggest to Julia and Fillyjonk that both the series of interjections in Spanish and "Bless you, damn you!" may make the person expereincing such an attack feel even worse than they already do (and if they feel like I do when that happens, they're thinking of that poor guy who drove into the Charles while sneezing the other day...) It's not really a good time for a joke.

Here's another thought while we're on the subject - I certainly don't mind "gesundheit!" or "bless you!" or whatever when I sneeze in a group of people I know, but I'm mildly weirded out when I sneeze on the bus, for instance, and some complete stranger from the other end of the bus loudly calls out "God bless you!"

Sorry about the "ins," I couldn't see past the bottom of the box. Apparently I can't work the internet, which is a dubious credential for a blogger.

As a cubicle dweller, albeit in a group that has been working together a long time, I usually acknowlege one sneeze with a "bless you" over the wall - except for our dept. secretary who routinely sneezes at least 6 times before stopping. We kid her that we are saving them up for the end. But I am a particulary loud and violent sneezer (can't help it, believe me I've tried) so when I do it I try to make a joke out of it like "hey I just watered my plant!"

Best case/worst case analysis;

Blessing = yes: best case the sneezer and blesser experience a feel-good moment of shared humanity and a drop of grace is added to a graceless world; worst case sneezer is momentarily annoyed, and blesser feels equally momentary regret at causing annoyance.

Blessing = no: best case the sneezer and blesser go on about their business unimpeded, worst case the sneezer feels that the world is a cold and heartless place full of rude, uncaring lumps of meat, and goes home and kicks the cat.

On behalf of cats everywhere, I mostly emit a knee-jerk little "bless-you" on a per-sneeze basis.

A running joke my friends and I have is to quietly say "UNBLESS YOU" after someone else blesses the person that sneezed!

My co-worker in the cube across from me probably sneezes, on average, 15-20 times in a day. Saying "bless you" has to stop somewhere. I think once you get the first couple out of the way, you've fulfilled your moral obligation, if you feel you have one. The phrase is said a courtesy, but if you think about it, it's really bloody antiquated. Besides, no one says "bless you" when you have a bad fit of coughing, a more telltale sign of cold or flu.

I am a multiple sneezer, and my sneezes are LOUD. I'm allergic to dust, so I sneeze often. I absolutely hate it when people make a big deal out of my sneezing. It turns a miserable situation into an embarrassing one, and it puts attention on me when I look disgusting, and pressure on me at time when I'm unable to respond. I think it's incredibly insensitive to draw attention to an involuntary and unwelcome physical reaction. And the absolute worst are the people who insist on making a big joke out of every single sneeze.

Once they start sneezing, I just say God Bless you all day!!

Stay home if you are sick and sneezing. honestly.

Agree with Matt, if you are sneezing tha tmuch, you are sick, stay home, do not infect me! and wash your hands please before you go making copies, opening the fridge, faxing, etc.

Robin says: But not all sneezing is contagious sneezing. There's always allergies as well (to ragweed in summer, the exhalations of dusty heating pipes in winter).

I refrain from any "Bless yous" because it is based on a superstition and I don't agree that is constitutes a courteous act.

Our small office can be dusty and all of us have our sneezing fits from time to time. Sometimes we say Bless You or Gesundheit, and sometimes we don't. We just don't worry about it.

The sneezing rhyme that I learned as a child is:
1 for a kiss
2 for a letter
3 for a wish
and 4 to get better."

I work in an office where this is mostly a daily occurrence. It is it someone in an office or cubicle right next to me, I will says "bless you" 3 times, but the on the fourth I usually just laugh and say "okay, 3 bless you's are your allotments for the day". This usually gets a chuckle and a nice thank you back to me and I don't acknowledge the sneeze again unless it is actually in my office. Also, you don't have to say anything to people further than next to or directly across from your work space. Other will do that for you. Hope this helps!

In my cubicle and short walls, folks will say "bless you" to each other but not to me, so I say "bless me".

The origin of saying "Bless You" when someone sneezes stems from an ancient desire to safeguard the sneezer's soul to commend the dying to the mercy of God.

If no one cares, then don't say it......but please do, if you do care.

I say "bless you" every time, almost reflexively. I even say it on the T when strangers sneeze, though often under my breath (like if I have headphones on). In some situations at work (or with other friends or aquaintences), I will engage with the sneezer, perhaps using humor or having a sympathetic conversation, but it can also just be part of the general undercurrent of social niceties that you barely notice but would miss if they weren't there.

funny after reading these, someone in my office sneezed to what I said 'bless you', then sneezed the second time, to which I replied 'again'

I feel this reader's pain. I too work in an office with cubicles, err, work stations, and have colleagues who sneeze. My rule of thumb is a "bless you" after the first incident, an "again" after the second, and then a boisterous "go blow your nose!" following the third. It's almost like a called third strike in baseball, you've got to let that person know their turn at bat has ended.

I stopped acknolwedging people's sneezes a long time ago. I think it's silly.

When you think about it saying "bless you" or something similar when someone sneezes is a pretty arbitrary and unnecessary social habit. Seriously, what is the point of acknowledging someone who sneezes? It does not make the wisher nor the sneezer feel any better and 99% of the time it is done out of habit or superstition. Many other cultures do not have this bizarre form of etiquette and they aren't any less polite than us. I think it's time to get rid of it and forget about the "bless you"s all together especially when they begin to cause awkward social situations such as the one described above.

I'm a frequent sneezer. I don;t have allergies and I'm not sick. But slight changes in the temperature or the glinting of the sun in my eyes can make me sneeze - and I do so, generally, in batches of 3. I have the same cube setup as most people and some coworkers bless me, others don't. I don't mind if people don't bless me but I think it's nice that some people still bother to say 'bless you' even though I sneeze up to 5 or 6 times a day. I always say my "thank you!"s when I'm done though!

In the the olden days it was thought the heart stopped when a person sneezed, thus the "God Bless You". Is it archaic now that we know the heart does not stop? Yes, it is however so many harmless, common courtesies have fallen by the way side, it is a shame that a fraction of interaction with a co-worker or family member or even a stranger should be eliminated. What is next to go; please and thank you?

After the first two "Gesundheits," I add, "und alles" (and for all the rest!) and leave it at that.

Type your comment here...I don't mind at all saying bless your or being blessed once when sneezing. I personally sneeze twice in succession and think maybe one bless you would suffice after the sneezer is done. Who cares if it's based on a superstition, so is wearing a wedding ring and carving pumpkins on Halloween. It seems to me we are drifting away from light hearted civility and headed towards mindless drones! The "I'm offended by anything you do that doesn't agree with what I think" is really getting old! I still also cover my mouth when I yawn, not because of the supersition that it prevents my soul from escaping, but because I'm pretty sure no one wants to see my tonsils and full tongue waving hello.

Be real, it's silly, you're there to work and it's annoying to continually hear it during flu season. It's bad enough for the sneezer to get past the dripping, blowing, etc. without having to give out "thank yous."

There's also the Jerry Seinfeld approach: instead of saying "God bless you," when someone sneezes, you should say "You're sooo good looking."

I also work in the cubicle world and since we all try to respect people's space, I usually only say "God Bless" if the person sneezing is in my direct vision range. After all, if they were in an office with a door, we wouldn't be shouting God Bless You through the door or the walls! For sneezers like myself, I feel one God Bless is enough. If I know them or sit close by to them, I may add "allergies are bad today, eh?" and then my one blessing is good for the day!

I have allergies all year round- I'm allergic to life, I like to say - and I really don't need anyone commenting, in any way, each and every time I sneeze. I wish I didn't sneeze either, but I sit a distance away from others, no one's in my space to share my germs, and I'd rather not be reminded of my nasal problems. So when I'm having an especially difficult day and others feel it necessary to say "god bless you" every time I sneeze, I usually call out, cheerfully, "One 'god bless you' will hold me for the entire day!" and hope they can go back to their business and somehow not hear me any more. I'd definitely cut off this nose to spite this face, if it would help...

I'm like Birdiekate as far as allergies go and I swear as can be seen above that there is no heartfelt blessing going into 'god blessing'.

I'd rather be ignored, I already feel gross and miserable and haven't yet found a boss that lets someone call in for bad chronic allergies.

I believe it was the Seinfeld crew who first addressed this and decided the correct response should be, "You're so good looking."

ah...
ah...
ah...ah-CHOO!

I don't like feeling obligated to say thank you just because I sneezed. Come on folks, there are no evil spirits in me trying to get out. Stop blessing me like your a hippy pope.

On a side note, why don't people bless me when I fart? Seems more necessary.

You are sooooooo good-looking!

Right on Scott!! We are really in dire straits if an everyday pleasantry like "bless you" is overanalyzed to the point of extinction just to pacify the few that , for whatever reason, may find it offensive. Just say thanks and get on with your day!
Best regards to all.

I have always been under the impression that when a sneeze occurs the persons heart momentarily stops beating. I always say "bless you" or 'god bless you' depending on the person. It simply just a common courtesy to encourage the heart to keep beating. When I sneeze and someone says "bless you" I either say "thank you" or "thanks, it's great to be back."

Yesterday the cashier at Staples turned away from me to sneeze. I said "bless you." A minute later she sneezed again - and laughing asked me to bless her again. I did and we both got a chuckle.

I don't say "bless you" and don't care if people say "bless you" to me. So far, no one has evaporated in a puff of sulfur fumes.

I don't mind being blessed, but I definitely don't need more than one "bless you" after multiple sneezes. It's a pleasant formality, really, so there's no need to go on and on about it. In fact, I'd rather have someone say "need a tissue?" than "bless you" for the fourth time.

I've always thought that the "bless you" reply to hearing someone sneeze is one of the most disingenous, contrived motivations to feign concern about someone else. In my experience, most people who follow this "etiquitte" seem to rush to be the first to be heard offering the "bless you", but otherwise seem quite content to socially ignore those same individuals in all other encounters (ie: no good morning, no good night, no Happy Thanksgiving, etc.). Why not say "bless you" when you hear someone cough, hiccup, or fart? What is so precious about hearing someone sneeze?

I've never really understood the whole "bless you" thing. It just seems very silly and antiquated to me. I don't say it when others sneeze and would prefer if people didn't say it when I sneeze.

Just don't do a George Costanza and say it in front of husband or boyfriend of the sneezer. Just let it go.

I like to say "bless you" when someone farts because your lungs stop breathing for a split second when you do so

I agree with A Dingo Ate My Baby. It is another common courtesy that is fading away, like saying hello to people, or counting back change to customers, or opening a door for a woman. Sad statement on our culture really.

Oh, and if I know they are an atheist, I use gesundheit (health!).

Since the only god I worship is the almighty dollar I tell anyone who wants to bless me to give me a buck when I sneeze.

Someone says "gesundheit", I just reply "that's what she said". Usually gets a chuckle.

One friend used to say "Welcome back" based on the his dubious assertion that when you sneeze your heart skips a beat.

I'm surprised people would be offended or embarassed by a "Bless you."
I'm an atheist, never taught to write thank you notes (I do write them now, though) or say "M'am" or "Sir", but we always, ALWAYS said "Bless you." when someone sneezed. AND we're a family of allergy sufferers. One "Bless you" will hold you for the day, unless you have another violent sneeze later, then I'll say it again. It's a knee-jerk reaction for me, sometimes I even say it to my dog. I always felt it meant "May you be so blessed as to never sneeze again."
"I'd be so sad in a world with no "Bless you"s.
There's nothing insincere or feigning concern in it. How cynical you must be to think that when someone says "Bless you" in their head they're thinking "Only not really."
So, bless you, may you never sneeze again

My secretary says:

Need a mop?
Need an unmbrella?
Need a squeegee?

I like that much better.

I sneeze a lot and people are always blessing me. I usually say thank you when they do this.. I think the whole thing is kind of silly. I don't bless others for sneezing (or farting or burping for that matter). But if they want to do it to me, I'll thank them for the effort.

Bless you from (or against) what, exactly??????

When you sneeze, it could be an indication that you are sick. Someone saying "Bless you" is really just wishing you well. Who wouldn't want that?

Third sneeze, "bless you blanket".

The phrase came into being during the Bubonic Plague, when sneezing was among the first symptoms. People who started sneezing were usually on their way to a fairly certain death, so the "Bless You" thing made a little sense. Until the Plague returns, please spare me. I have allergies at certain times of the year, and I tell people that one "Bless You" will cover them for the season, thanks.

More important than whether anyone said "bless you" or not - is the fact that the sneezer should always say "pardon me" after sneezing.
And they NEVER do.