Chat today!

I was interested to read your answer about "uninviting" someone, having been on the receiving end of it at Thanksgiving. After two years of being invited to my brother's house out of state (and, to the best of my knowledge, not being the houseguest from hell), I found myself in the country music song, "If the phone doesn't ring, it's me." No invite, nothing. I realize it is their right to invite or not invite anyone they want, but it would have been nice if they had sent a simple e-mail: "sorry we can't invite you this year; have a good holiday."
This has put me in an awkward situation. I've realized I am always the one who initiates contact ("how are the kids?," "what's happening with your job?") and have decided not to contact them for a while. Any suggestions that wouldn't come off as grovelling or demanding an explanation from them?

For the woman whose MIL is coming for a 2 week visit: she might want to try buying an air mattress. I find them much more comfortable than pull out couches. and they make them now with the "box spring" layer so they're not so close to the ground. Even if she still gives up her bed to her MIL, it might still be more comfortable for herself. I got an aerobed at overstock.com for a really good price. Just a thought.

I was so glad to read that a chatter attended the MIT Chain Reaction and enjoyed the event! I'm the person who mentioned it as one of my favorite "Thanksgiving Holiday events" in a recent chat.

Sadly the timing of being laid off kept me from creating a link in the chain for this years event, but I plan to be back next year. I hope to see her children demonstrate a device then!

P.S. Miss Conduct needs a facebook fan page so your readers can connect with each other when cool stuff like this happens.

For the the writer who is tired of being asked what he/she plans to do after graduation, just get used to it!! I graduated five years ago and people still ask me, Oh you were a French major? What were you hoping to do with that??

But I agree that turning the conversation back to the other person is always a good strategy. I like to point out that I ended up with the same job as a bunch of business majors, but I probably had a lot more fun during college & study abroad :o)

Re: the person who's noticed the acquaintance becoming noticeably thinner, I go with "say nothing". There are many possible reasons why this is happening, and whereas this person is not a friend, I believe they would be out of line to mention it.
Anywho, love the column & enjoy the posts!

For the MIL - if you don't want her to impose for 2 weeks again AND she doesn't want to sleep on your couch....
Yes - definitely buy an air mattress as Abby said
Then set it up in the 2 year old's bedroom (he's sleeping through the night now don't worry)
And I guarantee next year she'll arrange a much shorter visit

Regards questions about "what are you doing after graduation" -- I think most folks ask because they're trying to, you know, show interest in the other person as a nice way to make conversation. And if someone has an odd answer to the "what are you studying?" question, then they may very likely have some really interesting or odd intentions for doing so. If I'm chatting with a young 'un who tells me they're studying biochemistry and puppetry arts, or ancient textiles and cryptography, the question of what they're planning to do next pretty much asks itself, doesn't it?

Also, with the economy being (pick one: [ ] up / [ ] down), questions about the practical utility of an odd course of study may easily be the first thing that comes to mind.I don't think these questions imply snarkiness or that the student's judgement is faulty. Couldn't it be "You may have interesting reasons to be on that path; tell me more." ?

It's sure not like when I was in my senior year, and such questions could be answered with a simple "when I graduate, I'm gonna cut the soles off my shoes, sit in a tree, and learn to play the flute." Nowadays, people wouldn't believe you.

I still get the "what are you going to do with that degree?" and I'm in grad school approaching graduation in May 09. While I realize it's just interest and curiousity, it stresses me out enormously because my field (mental health services) is one of the first on the city/state budget chopping block. I go to school in NYC and unless a miracle happens I'll probably be moving into my mom's house in southern NH next summer. I can't answer the question because I have no idea what will happen. The other question that irks me is "it must be wonderful living in NYC?." I suppose it would be wonderful if I made over 100k and didn't live paycheck to paycheck...

"And why is it that “good morning” seems casual and friendly, but “good afternoon” sounds more formal, almost to the point of being stuffy? "

It's funny, I greet people with Good Morning even when it's obviously afternoon or even evening. Which often gets me strange looks, but Good Evening sounds so stuffy. Is there a good compromise?

While some people may ask me what I plan to do with my degrees out of interest, I've also been receiving comments such as "Have fun driving a cab for the rest of your life" and "Good luck finding a job. You should've chosen a more practical major." That's the reason why I said some people make it seem like I'm studying something useless.

(As a sidenote, to the former I usually reply that driving a cab is a respectable job, because someone has to do it. To the latter I say that writers with good analytical skills are rare these days, and then ask what they consider practical. Answer: Computer science and engineering.)