Festivus!

You've hit the nail on the head in this list!
RE: Number 4 - It appears that people today think RSVP's are optional. NOT!
RE: Number 1 - This is one of my biggest pet peeves, but I would like to add something - those pushing jumbo-sized strollers! They think they are entitled to own the space, all because they have a kid or two. Whatever happened to those little umbrella strollers for shopping? Do you really need an "Escalade" in a clothing store?

I'm sitting blocking the doorway of the bar monopolizing the time of a busy bartender talking about your blog- I can't believe your and your editors can't find anything constructive to talk about in these tough times- the bartender disagrees with me - think i'll stiff him on the tab.

You people disappoint me! Happy Festivus...

How about airport annoyances? Seems appropriate during a busy travel season! Under normal circumstances, I am a pretty patient person, but have no tolerance for ignorant people in airports.

My number one gripe is when the flight staff at the gate announces that they will begin boarding the plane in 5 minutes, and they are now boarding those who have physical limitations. Everyone stands up and rushes to the gate - crowding the poor elderly lady that has trouble walking as it is. Then the staff announces they are boarding zone 1 and 2. Seeing as I am in zone 2, I will get up and wait in line, but only after the mad dash. So I wait, and wait, and wait. Then I realize some nitwit in zone 5 is standing in front of me, holding up everyone in zones 1 and 2. I find that SO rude - it's such a me, me, me mentality and it happens on every single flight I am on. GET OUT OF THE WAY!

I agree completely with the ones you have listed. Two on my mind these days:

- people who have clearly been able to shovel our their driveways but have not bothered with the sidewalk. Extra credit for those who plow/snowblow out the driveway ONTO the sidewalk. This happens a lot in my neighborhood.

- people who talk on cellphones while on the toilet in a public restroom. It's rude to everyone, and gross. Unless the conversation involves, like, timing the contractions or something, cut it out!

It being winter, my current grievance is People Who Dump Snow on the Sidewalk, even though (or maybe especially when) they have a snow blower or someone plowing their driveway. C'mon, people, you can't spend the extra fifteen minutes to move that pile of snow off of the sidewalk and onto your yard? You can't instruct the snowplow operator (who you are paying, by the way) to move that huge pile of snow out of the way of pedestrians? Do you really want to force my kids/dog/aged parent to walk out in traffic?

I would add to #2 - people who honk at you to go the nanosecond after the light turns green. It's ridiculous... and in response I usually pause even longer than normal before proceeding. It also drives me crazy when the person behind you at a stop light honks at you so they can make a right turn on red, even though I am going straight. Am I supposed to move into the middle of the intersection so you can turn? Idiots.

1. Companies that treat their employees like they are disposable because of the recession. How can they expect any company loyalty when they are taking away benefits and hours and enforcing non-compete clauses?

2. People who ask children how they are doing in school. If you don't know the child well enough to already know the answer, why would you think it is appropriate to ask? Certainly it is fine to ask how they are enjoying school, but asking about grades is just plain rude.

Standing to the left of the escalator. Come on! Some of us have places to be. If you want a free ride up, great! I do too sometimes, but please stand to the right. This is the only city I've ever been where people think it's okay to do that. It's also the only city where it's considered impolite to ask somebody to scoot over when they are blocking the way up. And when you get to the top....keep moving.

I love it! Here is my grievance...
Folks who neglect to brush off the 10+ inches of snow from the roof of their car, and then proceed to fly down the highway going 65 mph. Laziness is all it is...but hey, what do they care? They aren't involved in the accident that the swirling mass of snow is causing behind them!!
Happy Festivus to all!

I totally agree about people in the grocery store just taking up the entire isle while making a trip to the store a social event or behaving like the store is their own personal universe. People: Be aware of your surroundings and the other people in it. Shove-ova

Another one Grievances of 2008;
To other parents:
A busy parking lot, crosswalk or packed store is not the place to teach your toddler to walk. Pick him or her up when crossing a street or iin a parking lot where people have to wait for you to get out of the way.

Also: No one thinks your child is cuter than you do. Please learn how to control them in public. Running aound the aisle of a store, screaming for no reason while you have you parental deafness working for you, the rest of us are cursing you and Damian. It is just rude and inconsiderate to everyone else. If they throw a fit- take them outside immediately. I dont' care if its inconveniene for you- have a child was your choice- so you deal with them. It should be torture for the rest of us that want to shop in peace..

#3: SHUT YOUR CELL PHONES OFF inresturants and movies. You aren't that important. If you are a parent with kids at home - put it on vibrate and take the call outside.

I wholeheartedly agree with "Standing in Stupid Places" as a huge offense. If I'm feeling especially forgiving I try to think that they're just having a dopey moment, like we all do sometimes, but in reality I couldn't possibly run into that many dopey people in a single day. I don't even take the T much, so I'm talking about everywhere else.

My second biggest grievance is drivers who only use their turn signals at the very last moment - often when they've already started making the turn. What good do you think that does anyone, dopes??????????????????????????

I hate when you hold a door opened for either someone who is coming up behind you or you hold the door opened and let some with packages in or out before you and they dont say thank you. Or don't hold it for me if I'm right behind them. That just makes me crazy. Its Basic Manners 101 and people just can't manage it.

I have two jobs in the service industry and I must air the following grievance - customers who approach a clerk/receptionist/etc while talking on a cell phone. There is nothing that shows more contempt for another human being than letting them know that a voice a thousand miles away is way more important than a mere body in front of you. The people who do this need to re-evaluate their priorities - talking to cousin Phil or not having spit in their coffee. I'm just sayin.

I agree about brushing the snow off the roof of cars. I can understand if you have a truck or you can't reach it but I've seen too many small cars and they just brush off enough to see. Not even the whole window. What happens when the snow falls down onto the back window? Accident waiting to happen. Take a minute please to be a safer driver!

My biggest grievance: People who push themselves on the subway without standing to the side to let people off. This is the absolute worst on the numbered lines of the New York City subway, which are narrower and shorter than the lettered lines.

My second biggest grievance: People who hang out by the doors of the subway when they're not getting off.

Let's not forget other "minor inconveniences" such as deregulating industries to the point that they destroy our economy, suspending the constitution, jailing the innocent without due process, spying on the populace, and torture. These are some of my grievances.

Robin says: Way to be an anti-trivialization fascist, Dave. This is a social-behavior blog, we're talking social behavior, NOT politics. Please re-read my Grievance #2 for 2008. I'm only approving this comment as an example of where we are NOT going to go on this thread. Carry on, connoisseurs of trivial annoyances!

i want to second the cell phone comment. i work in customer service and there is nothing more aggrivating then greeting a customer and thinking that you're engaged in a conversation only to have them turn their head to reveal a blinking blue tooth device. what adds insult to injury is when they are troubled enough by me to apologize to whoever it is they are on the phone with!

my biggest greivance is tailgating (especially in the snowy weather). if i have deemed that the curvy road with no lights and occasional deer sprinting into it isn't something that i want to travel at 90 mph, the person behind me needs to accept that too. people need to relax because being up my ass won't get them to their destination faster.

Cell phone rudeness. It is very simple people. Anywhere where someone other than you is the center of attention, your cell phone should be off, or otherwise not disturbing others. This includes: Church, theaters (movie and stage), checkout lines, fancy piano bars. If you are one of those who must tell your significant other every 5 minutes that you are on the train, do not do so at the top of your lungs. Text not while driving, lest ye die or run me over.

Paranoid parents. Ok, you are paranoid. You intend to keep your child an arm's distance from you until they reach college. Fine, your choice. But kindly do not accuse me of being a neglectful child abuser if I let my 8 year old play outside unattended, or otherwise refuse to act as if my children are made of glass.

I whole heartily agree with those lazy people who do not brush the snow off their cars, vans, and especially SUV's.

My grievences:
Bicyclists who don't think red lights and other such traffic laws apply to them. I am a pedestrian, I have the right of way!
Motorists who ignore the "walk" signal and take the turn even though pedestrians are trying to cross.
People who give you a dirty look when you walk into a bar. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize this was your private bar and that all incoming patrons must recieve your approval before they can imbibe here. Wait... no, it's not. Turn around, drink your drinkand mind your own business.

1. Inane banter on morning news shows.
2. Ungrateful kids and the parents who created them.
3. People who can't clean the snow off their cars. I have a truck and I bought a long handled broom to clean it off.
4. People who don't dress for the weather. There's no such thing as bad weather just not dressing for it.
5. People who bitch about Mass. be it weather or politics, and say they can't wait to move. Move already will you....please.
Happy Festivus

People who don't watch their kids in stores and let them run wild, knocking stuff over that I have to pick up. These are the same people who give you a dirty look when you say to their children (who are left wandering off alone) not to touch something. I worked in an auto parts store for six years! I'm telling Missy and Junior not to touch because it's dangerous/poisonous/heavy and could fall on her! Get a grip lady!

Also those people in their huge SUV's who talk on their phone while merging into me on Route 3. That drives me nuts!

I'd like to add to grievance 1 that this also applies to vehicles. Stopping whenever or where-ever the mood strikes you to think about life or text someone is thoughtless and dangerous. My lack of mind reading skills may have me plowing into you, ruining both our days.

I would like to add how annoying it is when people wait until Monday morning, after it has been snowing all weekend, to attempt to shovel themselves out. They come out and can't believe that their car is frozen into a snow bank, and then look at you to bail them out! No way. Along these same lines are the idiots who can't be bothered to actually brush the snow off their car, and have simply small spots on the front and rear windshied where they can see out...barely! They should go to jail.

Co-workers who pretend to be your friend in the office and then completely ignoring you when they are standing a foot and a half away from you at the holiday party (even though they know you're there).

My grievences:
People who blog about complaining. You don;t know any of the reasons why these people do what they do. So stop assuming.

Give me the aluminum pole!

In the spirit of the holiday season, I would like to add another: People who can't be bothered to find parking at a shopping plaza. Instead of parking and walking into the store, they park in the fire lane in front of the store for an indefinite amount of time and leave the car running, while somebody runs into the store to shop. They block traffic and are a nuisance! This is most common at Burlington Coat Factory or any grocery store.

I can't stand people driving 10miles per hour in the middle of the road durring this past weekend snowstorm. I understand it is a snowstorm and if you are going to be out on the road you need to drive slow and carefully.... I do have fourwheel drive and I am not one of those people thinking I can do anything just cause of that durring a snow storm.. but stay to the right side of the road and let people pass you if they want... God I can't stand those people!!

I can't stand people who think it is safe to pass you simply because they have four wheel drive or a giant SUV. If you can't pass in proper weather, what makes you think that it is legal when there is snow in the road? You are just making a dangerous situation even worse!

KUDOS ALL AROUND!
This is like etiquette confessions for the soul. My grievances are:
Stopping for a pedestrian to cross IN THE CROSSWALK and the car behind you TRIES TO PASS YOU AND KEEP GOING; that's a hit n' run in the making.
Drivers who blow through red lights and sit and green lights chatting on cell phone or who decide as the light turns green to reorganize their glove compartment; what exactly do they keep reaching down for over and over and over again.
Parking space hogs: OK, you got into your car, there isn't a space to be had as far as the eye can see so you;
a) pull down the vanity mirror and apply lipstick or b) take out your cell phone and check for messages or make a few calls. How about c) PULL OUT AND LET SOMEONE PARK.

Shoppers in supermarkets who meet up in the middle of an aisle and catch up on their lives thus blocking the aisles.
Shoppers who bring their children into a store and then let them run wild so their kids become everyone else's responsibility/problem except the parents.

This is my favorite;
You arrive to a movie early and walk into empty movie theater and take a couple of seats. The next group of people to come in look around the theater and decide to sit RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!

I'd like to add to the list smokers that fling their cigarette butts out the window of their car. Why should the rest of us have to deal with the litter from their bad habit?

Three driving conduct issues that drive me crazy (no pun intended) are:
1. When SUV drivers believe themsevles to be invincible and consequently drive much MORE recklessly during snow storms or other dangerous conditions.
2. When these same invincible SUV drivers jam on their breaks without warning to slow their vehichles to 1 MPH so that they can go over a 1 inch bump in the road.
3. When a driver proceeds to slow to a crawl while approaching a GREEN light. Then, when the light turns yellow or even red, they jam on the gas and blow right through the intersection effectively robbing the rest of us of two minutes of our lives.

What an AWESOME list....I Love it.....love the "Escalade" stroller comment......Have a GREAT holiday season!!!!

Smokers who come out to smoke and and puff away at the entrance to a building, or even worse, a resturaunt. Happy Festivus!

People who don't stay in their own lane when passing you on the highway. I'm just waiting for the day when I get hit on the driver's side...

Oooh, oooh, I know! My grievance is drivers who complain about bicyclists running red lights but then drive 65mph in a 55mph zone. Wait, did I say 65? More like 75!
Or 50 in a 35 zone. You know who you are!

This goes along with people sanding in stupid places...People who stop dead in their path while you're behind them. Whether it be at the mall, grocery store or sidewalk these people just stop apruptly in their path, your path, for no good reason. I had a day of this last Saturday and made grocery shopping hell on earth.

Another one if people using cell phones while driving. I used to be one of them, it's so easy to be in our crazy multitask driven world. It took noticing this habit in others and the unsafe conditions it caused for me to stop. How many times have we passed a driver we thought was obviously asleep at the wheel and found that there was a cell phone glued to their collision causing ears.

Coworker 1 phone calls coworker 2 and can't reach them because they are on the phone with coworker 3. So coworker 1 calls on internal radio system to say "can you give me a call when you're available?" Coworker 3 wonders why coworker 1 can't use the voicemail system instead of knowingly interrupting a phone conversation?!?!

Mine would have to be Plows at this time of the year. I understand that they are helping, but when they throw it into reverse and back into the road with out much care to the people with the right of way in traffic it annoys and worries me. I worry that one of these days they are going to take me out. I guess that is a can't live with them, can't live without them kind of situation.

I've got a few for the animal lovers out there.
1.) Not everyone is an animal lover. Accept it - and don't try to push your animal loving issues onto the rest of us. I don't care how cute your dog is, I don't want him licking my face, humping my leg or shedding his stinky hair on my clothes.
2.) PICK UP AFTER YOUR ANIMAL. If you're taking your dog out for a walk - or potty break - it's your DUTY to clean up its DOOTY. Don't leave their nasty leftovers on the sidewalk like steaming landmines. And, for those of you who go so far as putting the dog doo in a plastic bag...take the next step and THROW IT OUT. Don't leave the plastic bag full of crap on the sidewalk. You're just as bad as those who leave the poop out there.
Happy Festivus!

I have lots of them, where to start....

1) Agreeing with all the others who commented on people not cleaning off their entire cars. Last year I had my windshield shattered by a sheet of ice that came flying off the top of an SUV. The driver never even stopped. I thought I was going to die for sure.

2) People who comment on smokers standing outside buildings to smoke. It's because of you that those people are forced outside to smoke to begin with. Where exactly would you like them to go? Granted, the world would be a healthier place if people didn't smoke, but as long as we are still a "free" nation, people can make that choice on their own. Leave them alone and get over yourselves.

Happy Festivus: My airing of grievances. Peopel who stand way back at Dunkin Donuts practically to the door so when they are called they can walk up like they just won an academy award. MOVE UP! Second, a college football playoff please so we don't have any more mythical national championships. Third, and this one gets me the most, parents that talk loudly with their kids in public so that everyone around can hear them. They are not actually talking to their kids but to everyone around them to say what a great parent they are. And please people, remember it is better to leave your dogs at home safe than to leave them in the car. Happy Festivus

I hate it when people at the grocery store are talking on their cell phone to someone at home asking what they need and blocking the aisle. What ever happened to making a list first????
Happy Festivus!!!

How about people that don't know about personal space? People - don't be so close in line that I can't move without banging into you. It's common courtesy to allow roughly 2 feet distance otherwise you're too close.

Two car related:
1. It was mentioned already but I'll back it up. People that flick their cigarette butts out the window. THE WORLD IS NOT YOUR ASHTRAY.
2. People with convertibles that drive around with the top down and windows up. Why have a rag top if your not going to enjoy it 100%.

My pet grievance is people who leave shopping carts in the Handicap Parking Places. Do they expect a handicapped person to hop out of his or her car and remove the wagon? FYO I am not handicapped.

These are hilarious.

Not to dump on parents, but truly this generation of parents might be the absolute worse yet. Your children -- Yes, I am talking about you -- are obnoxious. A few suggestions:
STOP dressing your kids like adults.
STOP talking to your children like they are adults.
STOP allowing your kids to run around the restaurant.

Miss Conduct, I adore your column in the Globe Magazine. Often there is a Sunday morning tussle in our household over who gets to read it first! Thank you so much for providing this chance to air the petty (and not so petty) grievances of daily life. Mine are, in no particular order:

--Dress for the weather. It's cold. It's windy. It's Boston. I don't appreciate being nearly plowed down by some bimbo or himbo who can't be bothered wearing a coat and now is desperately trying to get into the nearest warm building or T station, knocking over those of us who dressed more sensibly and are moving more slowly. And wear something besides sneakers or spike heels on your feet, especially when there’s a three-inch thick layer of ice on the ground. It’s not sexy, it’s not cool, and it’s not impressing anyone.

--Organize your baggage more efficiently if you use public transit. There are loads of nifty backpacks and shoulder bags on the market, and if you habitually haul a lot of gear with you on the T, invest a little money in something that’ll keep you from dumping random bits of your personal possessions all over the trolleys and busses. And on a related note, if you’re en route to the airport and are carrying several metric tons of luggage, splurge for a cab. Don’t expect some random stranger on a commuter train or subway car to hoist suitcases that are too heavy for you to lift.

--And on a similar note, if you absolutely must carry hot beverages with you on erratically-moving public transit vehicles, make sure it’s in a spillproof container. Some of us don’t like arriving in the office smelling like a vanilla latte.

--Don’t try to shove your way onto a bus or trolley that’s already jam-packed with passengers. Seriously. There’s another one not too far behind.

--Cell phones are simultaneously a Godsend and the bane of modern existence. Nobody else wants to listen to a running commentary on your life. Just shut the heck up already, unless there is a seriously compelling reason to be using the thing. ALSO: There is no reason on Earth why I should have to listen to every word of a conversation taking place on the other end of a public transit vehicle, especially if I’m wearing noise-canceling headphones and my iPod is cranked to top volume. Keep your voices down!

--To all employers: your personal assistant or the office staff worker is not your very own Girl or Guy Friday. Organize yourself before you press those buttons. There is nothing more annoying to a busy worker than a boss who calls and then sits there saying, “Uh… what I need you to do is… uh… bear with me a minute here while I think about this,” etc. Make up your mind and make a list BEFORE you make the phone call.

--And for Xenu’s sake, CLEAN THE SNOW OFF YOUR CAR!! Also, don’t tailgate people who are clearly driving slowly because of hazardous road conditions. If you absolutely must pass, do it safely! Remember, winter and the holidays are a stressful time for everyone—that party or appointment you’re rushing off to isn’t worth causing a multi-car pileup.

Happy Festivus, everyone!

I think most of my major gripes have been hit, but I would add this one -

- The driver who decides that sitting in traffic is the ideal time to lean over and reorganize their glovebox/straighten up their briefcase/whatever it is you're doing leaning over to the passenger side while you should be driving when the light turns green!

- The plow that comes by after I've cleared my driveway and pushes that huge, heavy pile of slush back in . . .

- I heartily agree with the "Escalade stroller" earlier on, it's been a peeve of mine for years, but would add to that the folks that use their kid's stroller as a shield - in traffic, in malls, on crowded sidewalks . . . that's your baby in there, not a battering ram! And those are my ankles you're hitting with it!!!!

Bicyclists. Get off the road. Not only are you 30 something and are still up in arms about a hobby I had when I was 10, but you are stubborn enough to mean mug me when I scrunch by you on a back road.. Also, you're not, and likely never will be, in any sort of legitamate bike race, loose the rediculous spandex crap. Its like putting a tight neon sign on yourself that says "Poor judgement, worse taste"

Well I feel better.

You've really hit the nail on the head for many of these. I especially love the inclusion of the 'anti-trivialization nazis' that seem to hold down the Fort of Proper Responsibility for us all.....

My number one, top-of-the-list, grievance for this year just so happens to be #1 on your list as well: People with space relation stupidity. You see it everywhere, but it is magnified no greater than on the T. MY GOD!!!!!! People who have no concept of areas designed for walking, not stopping. Even people who do not stand properly within the pre-designed spaces to stand, thereby wasting legit space!! You mention the tourist factor, but that's honestly a very minimal percentage. We're talking about standard commuters with very little sense in these regards. It's upsetting merely because it comes from a place of selfishness. Not really giving a damn if you're in anyone's way. YOUR way is the only one that matters... Now I'm a 6'4" 250+ lbs. man who, if I wanted to, could throw myself around spaces with just as little care and attention to how it may affect others. Unfortunately, I have this little tick inside that actually gives a hoot about how what I'm doing may affect others. It's the same reason people run and push to get to the front of the line on the T, only to pay in cash (and taking 6 years to do so). Don't use common sense and maybe hang back towards the end of the line, waiting for people with cards to go, then go last. No, that would make too much sense and would take into account EVERYONE's time far too greatly..... People who walk at a snail's pace routinely pushing themselves to the door to get off first, thereby holding everyone up, rather than stepping to the side and letting the 'quick ones' go first........ Just general issues around people having ZERO presence of mind for their surroundings. People who wouldn't dare concieve of the above methods because it might take into account what is best/easiest for everyone, rather than just themsleves. Put that on my list as #1 (co-#1s 1A, 1B, 1C, etc.)...

Those are funny, LawyerfromMass! I have another suggestion to add: STOP letting said adult-looking, immature-acting kids hang around at the Starbucks (or insert other location here) in unsupervised groups, harassing *ADULTS* who walk by, and then backtalking to store managers who try to get them to behave in such a way that others can enjoy themselves as well. I guess this only applies to "obnoxious" kids, the non-obnoxious ones are probably off doing more constructive things instead :)

people who always use the handicap door openers when they are clearly not handicapped. is it that hard to pull the door open??

Happy Festivus! The best holiday of the year!
1) People who come late to a movie when the theater is crowded, and ask you to slide over one seat so they can sit together. Sorry - I came ON TIME to select the best available seats (usually near the center of the row for best viewing, IMO). There are other seats together - they just might be closer to the front than you want - but TOO BAD. Get here in time to find good seats next time.
2) People who text in a meeting. I see you. I see your eyes looking down. I hear your clicking and thumbs moving. I understand that you think you have more important places to be - but you are here, now. So when it comes your turn to contribute or if there is Q& A session - do not act like you have no idea what is going on and waste our time. Leave or pay attention.
3) Also - DO NOT TEXT WHILE DRIVING. I see you, too. And your big SUV that is taking up more than one lane because you can't be bothered to pay attention to where you are going.

I will second (or third) the one about smokers flicking their butts out their car windows - I've long thought this should be a capital offense, especially when I had a convertible (I never drove it with the top down and the windows up! Although now that I think about it maybe it's the flying lit cigarette butts that make people do that).

As for people standing around and blocking the common way - my gripe is couples who hog the side walk walking side by side holding hands and can't get out of their love reverie long enough to let other people by.

Along the lines of the RSVP gripe - people who invite you to a party or gathering and then insist that you bring something! Sometimes it's subtle (e.g. "Please come to my party, I'll provide appetizers, you provide anything else your heart desires!") and sometimes downright beggarly (e.g. "Please come to my party, $10 donation appreciated!"). It was fine in college when we were all poor students and no one could afford to keep everyone liquored up for hours on end. But adults should never charge admission to their parties. If you can't afford to have a party, just don't have one!

Even though it is legal, passing on the right on a highway is dangerous, and happens many times when I'm in the middle lane, signaling to move right, and I end up getting cut off and missing my exit by speeders on the right who could have just as easily used the left lane, formerly called the Passing Lane. Passing on the right used to be illegal, and should be again.

Tailgaters should be arrested for this dangerous and ever more commonplace bad driving habit, which is a greater danger to the tailer than the one in front.

People who still find it necessary to complain about smoking out of doors. What exactly is the problem? Are people being Bogarts and blowing it in your face? Otherwise, tolerating it for half a second is too much to ask? Or maybe the whole world should be set up to please you.

Robin, I also have to both empathize and criticize your complaint about people standing in stupid places in stores. First of all, anyone with a Trajectory belongs on a launch pad, not a grocery store. And they should realize they are not the only customer. The standing public are customers too and have a right to shop and stop as they wish. My advice, slow down. What's the hurry?

Anyone who parks in the fire lane - even for a minute gets a "you're rude" look from me. I always tell my kids the queen must be here. The fire lane MUST be clear always.

Also, people that don't pull over for an ambulance. Wait til it's your turn waiting for one.

I feel better now.

I completely agree with the grievances of
Unruly children in restaraunts; blocking public transit doors, cell phone use in cars, while ordering coffee, and on public transportation.
Let me add another - workplace restroom etiquette. The restroom is to be used condsiderately. Throw paper towels INTO the trash, not somewhere near the trash can. If it is a co-ed restroom, gentlemen, PLEASE AIM, and put the seat down after your visit! How can you miss? Really? Were you not trained to hit the middle of the bowl?
And third, if you leave residue, be courteous and flush a second or third time until it is all removed! Cripes! Have some manners!

And another workplace grievance - using the microwave oven.
If your lunch spilled over while in the microwave, WIPE IT UP!
You know it was YOUR's ... you must have seen it overflow (or explode)!
The next person who uses the microwave should not have to clean up your mess!

Thank you for letting me Air my Grievances. :)
I feel much better now.

#1 ) Parents who bring their toddlers to restaurants and let them roam around the place while following them. Either stay seated or leave.
#2) Double wide strollers with 1 kid and lots of shopping bags.
#3) People who are bothered that other people aren't dressed for the weather. Why do you care if I freeze or get wet?
#4) People who are offended by sidewalk smokers when the exhaust from the SUV that just drove by is doing more damage to them

Here are mine, Happy Holidays one and all!
Those who don't clean off gym equipment after they use it.
Business ownerswho gossip about patrons.
Parents who think their child is the Second Coming and woe to the teacher who tells them otherwise.
Mummies driving SUV's into parking lots and talking on a hand held cell at the same time. Also, snobs who send cards of themselves on vacation, but stiff Uncle Same on tax day.

1. Subsection (a) to Grievance #1: people who stand in inappropriate people: People who stand at the top of the up escalator or the bottom of the down escalator trying to decide where they want to go. Meanwhile bodies are piling up behind them.

2. Subsection (b) to Grievance #1: people who stand in the doorway of a T car, trying to decide on the choicest seat. Meanwhile people are flooding into the other doors and by the time Mr. or Ms. Special picks out the perfect seat, I end up standing for 6 stops on a crowded Blue line train.

3. Ungrateful people who, when you hold a door for them, sail through with their nose in the air, as if it is your job to hold that door for them. Makes me want to whack them with my cane.

4. People who ride their bicylcles full-tilt boogie on the sidewalk, almost running down pedestrians.

Hey, this Festivus stuff is fun!

This isn't a grievance - but I'd like to say that sometimes, yes, the door really IS that hard to pull open! Many doors are quite heavy, especially If you're small like I am. I've also had shoulder and wrist injuries that weren't evident to others, but made it quite hard to open doors. Now that I think about it, I may make more use of the handicapped doors. Thanks Bill M! ;)

People who don't dress for the weather???? Is that really a grievance? As someone who enjoys the cold and normally doesn't bundle up as if I'm an extra on the set of "The Thing", I take exception to that one..... How does my winter attire (or lack thereof) affect you?? I honestly just don't see that one... it seems like projecting. Anywho, just wanted to second two others I saw!

1) cell phone use while approaching customer service. Agreed!! In fact, I recently hung up on my mother because she refused to respect this law of courtesy. True story. She was waiting in line to return an item, we were talking, I heard the woman at the counter address her -- I hung up. Don't yap on the phone if you need to interact with someone who is helping you. It doesn't get much more rude. After I informed her that we weren't "disconnected" and it wasn't "probably her phone", she understood and agreed with the policy.

2) ESCALADE STROLLERS!!!!! OMG YES!!!!!!! Holy ----! What is with these people?? How in the hell can you possibly need that large of a vehicle to transport your brats?!?!? Hell, why even get out of the car in the first place???? Just drive on in! You can file this one under the "family tanks" category as well. People who buy a humongous vehicle so that their children can have a mobile playpen for a backseat... God forbid they sit down, shut up, and act civilized while in a motor vehicle.

AMEN! to Eleanor's post on shopping carts in accessible parking spots (or just as bad -- in the striped line area). My husband does use a wheelchair. If he can't open the door fully in that striped-line area, he can't get his wheelchair out and is stuck. As Eleanor pointed out, how do you really expect him to get out and move the cart to park.

To all you able bodied but LAZY people out there, be thankful for your still working legs and USE THEM to put the cart back where it belongs!

I am a mother and I have some grievances about other mothers. I liked LawyerfromMass
When you're food shopping with your baby, don't discuss every little thing that you plan on buying and what you're going to make it into. I don't care.
When you're out to eat, please have your baby/monster who is throwing a fit removed. I've had to sit through too many dinners with my family watching these kids run amok.
If your kids are in sports, please, for the love of God, don't think he's the next Bobby Orr, Jason Varitek, Charlie Pierce, whatever. Do something important with your life and your kids. Let the kids play, but stop the insanity!!!
Oh, and please no more letters or notes on your kids' lives over the last year. Once again, I don't care.

How about the uninviting host/hostess? I hate this one. If you invite someone for dinner, especially for a holiday dinner, cold cuts, sliced bread and condiments is NOT a meal! Even if you can't cook or you can't afford a filet, head over to the grocery store and place a rotisserie chicken on a plate with some jarred gravy, canned corn and crescent rolls! Unless it's a picnic or you're hosting 50 people for Uncle Jack's 60th birthday, go to the trouble of making it look like you made an effort. When you throw cold cuts on a plate, it makes it pretty obvious that you think your guests are a nuisance, especially if you use disposable plates!

People who leave their grocery carts randomly in the middle of the parking lot drive me batty. I understand that some lots are woefully undersupplied with cart corrals, and I also understand that it is often unpleasant out at this time of the year -- but the problem isn't limited to winter. You realize that the grocery store has to pay someone to go around and collect those carts, and that cost adds to their maintenance costs which adds eventually to the price of your groceries, right? Stop being so lazy, and walk your cart back.

I will also second/third/billionth the rant about tailgaters. Yes, I drive slowly on snow. I grew up in Atlanta. No, you driving into my trunk is not going to make me go faster than I am comfortable going.

I have a couple
- in grocery stores, people who stop adjacent to a display, positioning their grocery cart so that no one can pass by.
- Being in a crowd, trying to be patient when some idiot barges past me.
- Bloggers expressing strong emotion for or against a subject that they know nothing about - their opinion seems to have been regurgitated fom some talking head that also knows nothing about the subject.
- talking heads that advocate a position that they themselves find ridiculous.

1. That person, and you know who you are, that parks the shopping cart diagonally in the aisle, blocking all others, while they read the entire nutritional information label of a food item they've been consuming for years.
2. Dangerous traffic violators: No signal, zooming through yellow/red lights, tailgating, not observing crosswalks.
3. People in Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, McDonalds, etal, who get to the front of the line and pause to read the menu that hasn't changed in years that they could have been reading during the 20 minutes standing in line.
4. Check writers at Grocery stores. Get a check card...doesn't cost any more, in fact, you save on buying checks. (to a lessor extent, those in convenience stores or coffee shops who wait to take out their wallet 'til the last minute and count out exact change consisting of mostly pennies)
5. 12 items in a 10 items or less line.
6. Those who stretch their legs across two seats on the T when it's busy. Expected from a teenager, but really annoying from 25 to 35 year old men. Extra points for having muddy boots on.
7. Corporate buzz words. (me and some co-workers at JP Morgan used to play buzzword bingo. One accidently yelled out bingo at one meeting. hahaha)

This is similar to the "why are you talking on your cellphone in a public space" concept: people who just talk too loudly in public spaces. A bar, full of people? Awesome, have a party. A quiet restaurant, just you two and another couple? Y'know, I don't think I want to join in on your conversation per se. We live in a city: try to be mindful of who's around you, please. (See also: iPods turned up too much.)

1) Parents who don't bother making their children behave in public.
2) Cyclists who run red lights as if they're pedestrians but hog the road like they're cars.
3) Counter to 2008.2, people who give the right of way for no reason. They're rules of the road and they exist so everyone's on the same page; don't start changing the rules.
4) People who listen to their music as if they're putting on their own concert (singing in public or making it so loud, I can hear lyric). This mainly applies to gyms, subways, and cars.
5) People who crowd the doors of the subway cars in the hopes of getting a good seat but don't realize that they're holding everyone up and will lose their seat regardless.
6) People who use umbrellas without consideration of where they wave them. I'm tall and have been clipped near the eye on several occasions.
7) People who are critical of me and my SUV. I lug a lot of cargo (mainly sports equipment, boxes, and furniture) and live on a private road that doesn't always get plowed immediately; a sedan just won't do.

Ooh, ooh, one more driving grievance...
When heavy traffic is merging, from two lanes to one, and is orderly alternating one car from Lane 1, and one car from Lane 2,.. and some j*rk has to make it be two cars from his/her lane (tailgaiting the guy / gal in front of him / her) just to get one car length further than the other car in the other lane ...
ooooooooh, that irks me.

Happy Festivus :)

I hate it when I'm searching for parking in the city and find cars that are parked in asinine positions, like half a car length from the end of the curb. We're all in this together people: park in a way so the most cars can squeeze into the section as possible!

1) People who park their cars in 2 spots and are too lazy to fix it.
2) People who approach a toll booth, THEN decide to search for their ticket and money. Even worse is when they try to ask for directions.
3) People who are so insistent on making a light in traffic that they're willing to block the intersection, making everyone else's experience that much worse.
4) People who can't understand "Keep right, pass left" on the road, in hallways, on the street, and on stairs.

A driving grievance. Listen people, when you are IN the actual rotary you have the right of way. Two things about this gets me upset. First off the people that shoot through the yeild sign from outside of the rotary that end up cutting you off. Second and most frusterating are the people that end up in front of me IN the rotary that feel the need to stop and wave the yeilding cars in. When you are in the rotary you do not stop, you have the right away. This question is on the DMV's list of questions when you take your permit test!! Think people!!
HAPPY FESTIVUS!!

to those standing up for cigarette smokers standing by the door: Those of us with cigarette smoke allergies would appreciate it if smokers took a few steps away from the door to enjoy their butt. Also, I choose not to smoke and really don't want to have to pass through a gaggle of smokers and end up smelling like an ashtray for the rest of the evening. There's little more disgusting to me than lying down to go to sleep and inhaling the lovely scent of cigarette smoke that has permeated my hair.

to those standing up for cigarette smokers standing by the door: Those of us with cigarette smoke allergies would appreciate it if smokers took a few steps away from the door to enjoy their butt. Also, I choose not to smoke and really don't want to have to pass through a gaggle of smokers and end up smelling like an ashtray for the rest of the evening. There's little more disgusting to me than lying down to go to sleep and inhaling the lovely scent of cigarette smoke that has permeated my hair.

Posted by Liz S December 22, 08 02:11 PM
++++++++++++++++

Dear Liz, walking into a building past a few smokers WILL NOT cause your hair to be "permeated" for the rest fo the night.

Drivers with a cell phone attached to their ears and not paying attention to anything around them (especially the moms in minivans). If you intend to use the phone that much while you drive, please do everyone a favor and purchase an earpiece. This will free up your hands and (hopefully) decrease the amount of accidents and road rage. I can't count the number of times I've seen someone floating in and out of lanes and cutting off everyone else only to find out they're more focused on their precious conversation than the safety of others on the road.

My grievances:

People on the West Coast who don't quite understand time zones (if you call my office at *your* end of business, I'm not getting back to you until the next day -- so don't call me back again at *your* end of business - that phone tag is entirely your fault).

The snow on the roof. SO annoying. Unless your car is at least 9 ft high, you have no excuse.

The folks who are either illiterate or oblivious and only realize 10 feet before the toll plaza that (1) there are tolls and (2) they are in the Fast Lane only lane but don't have Fast Lane.

Happy Festivus!

Dear Liz, walking into a building past a few smokers WILL NOT cause your hair to be "permeated" for the rest fo the night.
Posted by Tim December 22, 08 02:13 PM

+++++++++++++++

Dear, Tim, perhaps not, but it will put someone like my mother, who is highly sensitive to cigarette smoke, in the ER. And yes, just a whiff will do that to her. Take two steps away from the door and exhale away from walking path. It won't kill you , but it could kill her.

Just thought of another one:
Drivers who are lost in Boston- PULL OVER! Stop driving at 5mph and trying to turn down every upcoming road only to find out they are one-ways! To make matters worse, you're on your cell phone trying to get directions!
Pull over, figure out where you are, call someone to ask directions, and write them down. Then, and ONLY then, proceed back into traffic.
And don't ask the toll-taker on the pike for directions! Some of us have places to be besides the Museum of Science!

Happy Festivus one and all!
A T grievance that I am sure everyone can sympathize with. People - when you are SEATED on a packed train and you are stopping at a popular stop (ie. Park Street), do NOT try to stand up and move towards the doors when (a) the train is still moving and (b) people are packed in like cattle and trying to balance themselves with one pinkie wrapped around a pole for support. Please wait until the train stops, the doors open and people start walking out to make your move, it would be very much appreciated.

Here's one that happened yesterday. I spent many hours this weekend shoveling so I can go to work. During the night, the plow truck shoved over 3 ft of heavy snow behind my car and I couldn't get out. I appreciate plows but if they are going to push the snow in driveways, the least they could do is go back and fix it.

My grievances for 2008:

1. Non-smokers who I offend on my cigarette brake: You’ve won the war. You have officially made it impossible for me to smoke indoors in this state, so don’t give me a dirty look as your walking out the door and wave your hand in front of your face like the millisecond of second-hand smoke you just encountered is going to give you cancer. I’m freezing out here because you’re a baby!

2. Dumb pedestrians: If you jump in front of my car I should have the right to run you over and plea that you were a victim of natural selection. Unfortunately, you don’t know who you are… pity.

Merry Festivus!

People who take up a seat (or two!) on the subway for their fake purses. Really. If it was a real Coach bag, would you need to ride the subway? And if you really do have a Coach bag and you're riding the subway, how many things are your children doing without or what bills are you not paying so you could afford that bag (but still ride the subway)? You look ridiculous and you're blithely unaware. Move the bag or pay a Charlie fare for it. Also, people who smoke right on top of the doorway to a building. MOVE OVER, SMELLY!

And another: If you're below 55 years of age and have full use of your limbs, give up your seat on the T to anyone who is older or pregnant or carrying a baby or is handicapped or who just plain looks like they need a seat.

I'd like to add to Grievance #1, people who stop immediately at the top or the bottom of an escalator when the lift has completed. Hey, I'm coming in behind you on stairs that are propelling me forward, I can't stop so get out of my way !!

Men who wear Tina Fay/unisex glasses or wax their eyebrows!

Um...the people in the middle and left lanes of the highway that jam on the brakes at every exit as if they are surprised to see cars entering and exiting the highway. The liklihood that they are going to skip directly to the left lane from the on ramp during heavy traffic is not so high. On the otherhand, I will appreciate not having to jam on the brakes at 70 mph for no good reason. Also, if you are afraid....please stay to the right and jam on the brakes all you like.

Hello Festivus for the rest-of-us!

Are you smokers kidding??? Like most of you, I SHOWERED this morning before coming to work but I need to walk through your disgusting cloud of EXHALE just to get in the building!! Why do I need to smell like your smelly smoky breath for the rest of the day?? Why can't you stand to the side or BRING A COAT so you're not freezing and trying to stand half inside while smoking that smelly butt! How about when I'm trying to take my kids to the doctors office and the little ones also need to walk right through your disgusting smoke???? Of course you need to smoke outside, but why do you have block all the entrances and exits to make the rest of us covered in your dirty habit??

"Left lane vigilanties" Those are the people who feel the need to ride to the far left at exactly 65 in order to slow traffic down.

I hate the look of the younger generation wearing their pants hanging halfway down their legs. What is that all about? I don't really care to see your boxer shorts or briefs. Besides, that hip hop look is a few years past it's prime.

And I also cannot stand people in public using foul language. Please tone it down or lower your voices to be less obnoxious.

Happy Festivus to everyone one and all. Festivus is definetly a hoiiday for the rest of us, it's my favorate by far.
My big complaint is with paranoid people, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean everybody really doesn't hate you, we do. Please get over yourself and get some help if you can.

I was at the grocery store the other day and when I went to the register there were 3 cashiers all at my register just gabbing away. They didn't even acknowledge me. When I asked if the register was open, they were a little upset. Next time, I'll use the self serve register.

How about...women complaining about the seat being left up. I put it up so I wouldn't splash on the seat so stop complaining if I forget to put it down. I did not leave it up in an attempt to get you to fall in the toilet (although it is hilarious). Look before you plop down on there and stop acting like its a huge inconvenience.

If it is courteous for men to put it back down when they are done how about having the ladies put it back up when they are done?

I have one that is kind of like your #1. I live in Newport. Lower Thames is the most direct route to my home. I hate when people stand at a crosswalk who aren't crossing. I stop and wait. I roll down my window and ask if a crossing might happen. When I hear no, and am given a puzzled look as to why I'm asking, I sometimes say, "You're standing in a crosswalk." Also annoying are those who cross without looking and those who walk in the street next to the curb. You might be on vacation, but I can still hurt you with my car.

Um, Tim, let's not go there... the whole "give up your seat" deal is done. I can name you numerous instances where offering a seat can turn into a travesty. Whether it be offending someone who is "perfectly capable of standing" or disrupting the natural order of when and where people get off the train... Can we please not make a standard "any man under the age of X should automatically give up his seat to _______". It's out-dated and many times not necessarily welcomed by the person standing. Of course the pregnant and disabled are exceptions to the rule, but otherwise, first-come first-served.

Also, if ungrateful pedestrians are going to be listed, it's only fair to list non-sensical drivers. People who stop their car merely because you've approached the street. I appreciate that you are aware of my presence, but I don't need to run out in front of you and the 7 cars behind you! You are merely destroying the (logical) timing of the street lighting system. I'm simply PREPARING to cross after you have already driven by..... Many times I have refused to cross, much to the severe ire of a "helpful" driver who just stopped all of traffic in the Greater Boston region on my behalf. I'll wait my turn, thanks. There are bad pedestrians. There are also bad drivers.

Oh, and I notice somebody mentioned "people with unwieldy bags/purses". Wow, couldn't agree more. Ladies who have no control over their extreme-sized purses and college dudes who don't seem to understand that your backpack actually adds a few extra feet of necessary clearance space in confined quarters. I could wipe out the national debt if I had a dime for every time a Berklee student harpooned me with their luggage, or that 4'9" woman who keeps swinging back and forth, drilling me in the #### with her purse every two seconds!

Regarding post #96 by John - I agree. And by the way, we men need to use the seat as well. How is it that we know how to look to see if it is down before we sit and women don't?

And another....cars that run YELLOW LIGHTS in downtown Boston.....

Did you know that AS SOON AS your light turns RED the cross-walk light immediately tells the pedestrian it's safe to cross? Do you realize as your hurrying to beat the already RED light, that you can hit someone walking off the curb??

I must say---when I'm walking, I realize how bad the drivers are, but when I'm driving, I hate the walkers that cross the street when I have the green light!

Goes both ways people! Drivers, pedestrians and bicyclists ALL need to follow the crossing signals!!

HAPPY FESTIVUS George!!

DJMcG , despite what "travesty" it may turn into, I was raised to be a gentleman and if a lady who looks older than me is standing and I'm sitting, I will chance the awkward moment and offer her my seat. Same with an elderly man. I once offered it to a man who looked 70, turned out he was 80 and politely refused the seat and said he had just come back from a 20 mile hike, ran 10 to 15 miles a day and preferred to stand. He wasn't offended and thanked me for being considerate and wished more young people were.

Ooooh...need to add one more involving tipping in restaurants. To the waitpeople please take the following advice:

When paying the check, do not, repeat DO NOT ask if I want change. I could be paying a $25.00 tab with a $100 bill so, no, you are not getting a $75.00 tip. Simply make the change, bring it back to the diner and let them decide what to leave, OK?

John --

You're preaching to the choir there, bud. If we could at least get to a place where we don't have to pretend that leaving the seat up is the greatest affliction once can endure... It's really not that difficult to look at the toilet you're about to sit down on. In fact, it's probably a good idea anyway!! I've never understood "blind sitting" as a reasonable argument against the seat.

Look, when I'm lucky enough to have a woman around the place, I always try to leave the seat down, for convenience. But I just don't get how it can be turned into a national travesty, like it's a personal affront to your human rights! Just put the damn thing down yourself! It's just as easy for you to put it down as it was for me to put it up!!

In fact, to hell with this -- I'm starting a new crusade to take back equal ownership of the toilet seat!! Who's with me??? The seat now belongs in the UP position! I can just hear the arguments now..... ("I would really appreciate it if you didn't leave the toilet seat down... God, it's like every time I go in there I have to put it back up! The other night, it was dark, and I couldn't even....")

People with rolling tote bags that weigh a total of 5 pounds. It takes forever to get up the stairs behind them and you can't pass them on the sidewalk because they're always walking at a brisk pace, but you can't avoid stepping on the bag because it's 3 feet behind them. Get a backpack, a messenger bag, or something that you don't need to roll everywhere. If you can't lift your bag, start going to the gym.

Just a few, variations on what's been said . . .
1)Cell phones in the grocery store. I don't mind a quick call, but when I have to listen to you from aisle 1 to aisle 15 it makes me want to hit you on the head with a mellon.
2)People who I know casually who look right through me when I see them outside of the situation that I know them from. I'm thinking that if I recognize you, then you probably recognize me. I get it, I'm not your best friend, but is a nod and a hello too much for you to handle?
3)To the woman at the Post Office the other day . . . Yes, you were "in the building" before me, but you have all of your stuff spread all over the table and at least 10 packages to mail, some of which you are STILL ADDRESSING. I have one package, know how to use the post office machine and could have been out of your way in the time it took you to yell at me that you are in front of me. Be ready, people, or at least be courteous to those of us that show up prepared, with packages addressed and credit card in hand.
Happy Festivus to all.

Hey Dingo Ate My Baby,
If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to go out, period. We ask you if you need change because it's efficient. I feel that people who have not bartended or waited tables are socially inept in comparison to the rest of the population of the Earth. Some people find it a virtue to tip and automatically put it with thier tab. We try to sort those people out. Others want to "show" the server or the people they are entertaining that they are decent people by smugly handing the tip to the server. peace.

I didn't read all of the posts, but echo those sentiments. Here are my top 5..

1. Why can't the girl at Dunkins get my coffee order right, thats what she gets paid to do...2 out of 5 days without fail, I need to go back and ask for non hazelnut...why? I drink the coffee black, its not that hard.
2. The stop for pedestrians signs all over Boston, I understand being cautious, but can't people just cross at a crosswalk and not dart infront of 30mph traffic, that is how accidents happen. Worst law ever...Why do I have to wait for you, but you don't have to wait for me when I have a green light....
3. Decaf coffee, whats the actual point, if you don't need caffine why would you drink the stuff (i like the taste... no one really does)
4. The person on the T or waiting for the T who is so mad its late he swears and spits and berrates the T employee. Guess what you paid $2.00 to ride the system home, if you want the luxury of having something run on your schedule park downtown for $30.00 + and leave whenever you like. We're all waiting, it all sucks and your yelling won't make it better.
5. The crappy musician at Harvard with his recorder and drool everywhere. Dude, you are not the next Tracy Chapman, give it up...spare me the 7:25am headache
4.

Hey Jaded Bartender , a server asking if you need change is rude, period. It's flat out asking for the tip. Just take the damn money and, if you need to say something, say "I'll be right back with your change." If the customer wants him/her to keep it they'll just say, "no need." Waiters and bartenders are there to serve. Yes, difficult customers are one thing, but most aren't difficult.

That's a really great story, Tim. Unfortunately, it's not the only verison of how that exchange can (and will) go. You can deliver the usual standby speach ("Well I was raised a gentleman, and a gentleman offers his...") -- yeah, yeah, I know. Me too. You're not the only one who was taught that. Ride the T for another decade or so (specifically, the B line). Get into a few more exchanges with your fellow commuters. I have been involved in (and seen others involved in) far too many incidences to live by that archaic creed. It's a case by case basis now, not a "any man should give up his seat to _____" standard. Then again, you probably don't have to worry so much about these issues, given that you commute by horseback, you chivalrous fella you.... : )

My number one grievance....people who bump into you and do not say "excuse me" or "I'm sorry". Would it kill you to acknowledge that you just hit someone with your bags?

I do not like it when I am standing in line at a store waiting to pay. People need to realize that I am the most important and that I should be given priority access because I am rich and we're in a recession. I can afford the priority access in lines and I should not have to wait. In fact, what am I even doing standing in line? I can hire helpers for that. Ok, so I am upset that I did not think to hire helpers to do things for me. If I had a little more common sense, I would be able to avoid this whole mess in the first place.

people who cook fish or popcorn in a small office. so rude.

people that get botox.

definition of botox:
The nickname for Botulinum Toxin, which is a strain of botulism, a powerful poison.

oh yeah, I want that!

Not feeling comfortable saying "Merry Christmas" because I may offend someone.

How about those people that call your telephone # incorrectly, and after hearing your voice and know it is not the one they expected, hang up. What is the fear of telling someone that they called the wrong tel#? Caller ID, though, fixes this. I can call them back and ask them if they meant to hang up on me or hang up on someone else.

I work in an office building, and one thing that irks me is the woman who comes in and block the card reader from others while she roots through her bag searching for her id.

Secondly, to go with my first pet peeve, is people not acknowledging others coming and going through revolving doors. I can't tell you how many times I've been nearly clipped from someone coming out of the building and pushing the door with all their might while I'm entering. No eye contact. Not cool.

The groups of people on sidewalks who walk shoulder to shoulder at a snails pace and force me to jump in the busy street to run around them.

My number 1 pet peeve of the day:

Healthcare professionals who treat my older, recovering-from-a-heart-attack mother like a retarded kindergartener.

She's been on this earth a lot longer than you, and is quite possibly more highly educated. Yes, she's sick. But it doesn't mean she's stupid. Treat her with respect, courtesy, and gentleness. Don't shout at her, scold her for missing an appointment in a snowstorm, or berate her in any way. Carefully explain how and when to take the medications she must take, why she must get her blood tested before 11:00 am, and ask if she has any questions. Then LISTEN.

Thank you.

Hey DJMcG, I rode the T for many many many years. If someone's offended by my offer, I appolgize and remain seated. No need for insults. I can see by your insulting tone that you're one of the rude T riders.

Yes, you can see that Tim. Congratulations. You're a real winner and definitely more of a man than all the rest of us here combined for always offering your seat. My, my, what a gentleman!

Do you happen to have a style guide to accompany your decree?? For example, where's the cutoff for age? Or is that merely gender-based? Is it only the weak-willed frail women-folk who can't bear to stand on the train that you must protect?? What happens if a very frail and older-looking man actually happens to only be 47 years old, yet a 50 year old offers him the seat? Is that even legal??

Oh well. I guess I'll just have to carry on with the rest of my life NOT attempting to adjudicate the physical abilities of others. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Robin says: Okay, boys, we're ending this one NOW. Further posts on the topic from either of you will not be approved.

Squirting your windshield while driving in front of me. Yo Shamu! You just put water spots on my car and now my windshield has spots on it. Wait until there is no one behind you or when you are stopped.

So many grievances, so little time. My most aggravating version of "people standing in stupid places" takes place in the train station -- for me it's North Station, but I'm sure it happens in others as well. Folks who are waiting to board a train that may or may not be they want, particularly when it's late, will mob the entrance to the platform, totally blocking the access of folks who are trying to board another train on the same platform or one nearby that's leaving in two minutes.

Of course there's also the commuter rail controllers (if that's what they're called) who assign two trains departing 5 minutes apart to the same platform, even though there are no other trains in the station.

And don't forget the town snowplows that not only push snow back onto the sidewalks that homeowners have worked hard to clear but also push the piles at the end the street up across sidewalk entrances. Yes, your job is clearing the streets, but the ultimate goal is safety, and if folks can't walk on the sidewalks they have to walk in the streets!!

Happy Festivus

My choice: Those who think that they can change people by pointing out the things these people do that irritate. Nobody ever "learns a lesson" from anyone else's complaints or comments. People are stubborn, self-involved, and rarely thoughtful.

Your Ipod, MP3 player, etc. is a personal player for a reason - So you can hear it, not me. I know sharing is a wonderful thing but please, do not share that noise you consider music with me. If I want to listen to music, I have my own MP3 player with me. I'd even use it if it weren't for the fact that yours is so loud I can't hear mine. There really is no reason that you need to have the volume that high. Be selfish...keep your music to yourself.

Number one: Convenience store irritations. There are at least two types of people who sap all convenience out of the places. Those who actually "shop" at convenience stores and proceed to overwhelm the clerk with twenty-plus items, while backing the line up out the door. One, three, five items we can all understand. Perfectly reasonable. Six frozen dinners, toilet paper, popcorn, milk, greeting cards, and a pound of loose sweedish fish...find a supermarket!
Type two: the women who tie up the line with magic nesting doll purses. They place a pack of mints and a bottled water on the counter and stand at vacant attention. Clerk rings them up and announces the total. Seemingly shocked that it costs money, they fling their 30lb arm bag onto the counter, unzip it, rummage through it for the wallet, unclasp the outer defense, unzip the inner security feature and begin thumbing through neatly organized bills for a five. Now for the exact change. More unbuttoning, more zipping. Clerk hands back their change and the woman proceeds to re-catorgorize the dollar amount before reinitiating said security zippers, buttons, etc. Next, the purchased items and wallet must be placed back into the 30lb bag. For the ten people scowling in line behind you, grab your stuff and get the *$&% out of the way!
Number 2: Tailgaters. Simply, if you're so close you can read the item number off my tailpipe, please know that I'll be sure to slow down even more to really get under your skin.

Clerk rings them up.

How cathartic!

1. People who don't move into the center of the T cars when there's a logjam of people trying to get in. No matter what, you *will* be able to get out at your stop.

2. Cyclists who don't obey the rules of the road. If you're going to ride in the street, you need to act just like a car when it comes to stop signs and lights.

3. People who give me dirty looks for pushing my "escalade" stroller on to the T.
Maybe if you shoveled your sidewalk then I'd be able to get by with a smaller stroller. As it is, I need snow chains to walk from Central to Harvard.

4. People who don't shovel their sidewalks. Don't think I won't report you and get your sorry butts ticketed.

I second Jamboston (#54) on the latecomers to the movie theater who can't sit apart from each other.

Similarly, why people think they can get away with asking the same on an airplane is BEYOND me. With the scarcity of flights and leg room, it's the height of presumption to think one wants to give up a window seat to sit in the middle seat you don't want without you offering to pay the difference between your ticket and theirs to make up for it.

I undestand families need to sit together, but here's the solution: book your tickets way in advance so you can. Don't expect the rest of the world to remedy your lack of planning.

I'll throw my weight behind the "cell phone non-courtesy" people. It is entirely demeaning to see people talking on their phone while simultaneously putting in an order at the deli or while interacting with other service people at a store. It's astonishing how quickly forget that courtesy is a two way street. I'm sure complaints would ring up the management chain if a deli worker or teller were chatting on their mobile phone while on the job, why as a customer does anyone think they have the right to be so rude to these people? Talk about demeaning.

If you are driving on the highway and the car in front of you is getting further and further away, and there is a line of cars behind you, you are driving too slow. Move over or speed up.

Drivers tapping their brakes at the slightest hint of a curve or incline/decline.

Hanging too far behind the car in front of you and then stopping well short. I figure these drivers are high and need more time to react and have baked the ability to judge distance from their melons.

If you park your shopping cart on the left side of the aisle and then stand next to looking at the products on the right side, guess what? You are blocking the entire aisle. Never ever stand next to the side of your cart and browse. Move the cart forward so this doesn’t happen.

Anyone writing a check to pay for merchandise. Can we just end this very old fashion and annoying payment method.

Airing of petty grievances:
1. Attachment Parenting (ever notice how there's no game plan for becoming un-attached?). It's time to swing the pendulum back to parent-centered child rearing a bit. Let's raise kids that are fun to be around rather than those that suck the oxygen out of the room. Everyone will be better off, even the kids. Really.

2. Grumpy librarians. I can hack them but feel for those who feel out of place in a library to begin with being chastised by this all-to-true stereotype. Hospitality isn't just for one's home.

It's not the "escalade" strollers that bother me. It's the thoughtlessness on the T of those using them. I once got on a bus that then stopped for a couple with a DOUBLE stroller carrying an infant and a toddler, and they also had a very large dog on leash. The mother took the infant, and sat down in the front seat, and the father began trying to get the toddler to sit with his mother. All the time this is going on, the father is also trying to break down the stroller to fold it up, as he is standing in the front of the bus blocking the aisle for anyone else trying to get on. The dog decided to lie down in the middle of the bus aisle. The driver asked the man politely to move further into the bus, and get the dog out of the aisle. The man acted as if this was a insult!

I have another one - The Garden and North Station. Didn't the Architects know that people would start lining up for the Cs and Bs at 6:30 and that they might be a conflict with people trying to get to their trains for their commute home? Every time I go to a Celtics game, I can't help but marvel at the stupidity of the design to get into the Garden and North Station. The commuters in a rush to get to their train, upset that the idiot fans are just milling about, getting in everyone's way. The fans milling about, getting ticked off when a commuter pushes past them.

#1 People who snap their gum in public like a 13 year old girl
#2 People who open their car door into yours
#3 People who change their mind about a refrigerated or frozen item in the grocery story and put it on some random shelf
#4 People who write a check at the grocery store
#5 People who can't remember what side of the car their fuel tank is on and have to re-position
#6 People from New York (just kidding)

Happy Festivus! Nearly all of mine have already been aired by others on this site, but I do still have one:

Asking a perfect stranger a question/favor but not prefacing it with a "Pardon me..." or "Excuse me..." I'm always happen to help with directions, tell someone the time or even take a picture of a tourist in front some landmark, but when you approach me out of nowhere with "Can you..." or "Do you know...", it comes off like a rude demand, no matter how nicely you ask.

People who can't just let other folks air their grievances on a public board without pointing out how much they dislike what said grievance is. Of course we're going to step on someone's toes by airing the grievance, but it's Festivus, people, and it's the one day a year when (start overly emotional music) all of us, no matter who we are and what we despise, can come together as a whole and air our grievances in peace, even if our grievances are in disagreement with one another!

Let's not be petty, fellow Festivus lovers. Let only our grievances be petty.

Now. ON TO THE FEATS OF STRENGTH!

Why do people always have to have a conversation with the cash register person at the bank or grocery store when there are a million people in line. I think its great that you want to tell her about your grand kids, but seriously, she doesn't care and will probably forget two seconds after you leave.

New to Festivus (#129),
a. I am a grumpy librarian.
b. I wouldn't be so grumpy if your children didn't find the automatic door button so wonderful, allowing me to be blasted by the 0 degree air every five minutes while I wait for you to find the library card that's somewhere in your purse. Never mind that you just spent 5 minutes in line, waiting for my station to open up.
c. Happy Festivus.

1. Definately cellphone behavior. Hello buttheads, get off the flippin phone when you are in public unless it's absolutely necessary. That would be, on the road, in an aisle, at a checkout, bathrooms etc.... Newsflash, we don't care about your life that much, shut up!
2. Similarly along this theme, people who send Christmas cards, or should I say, diatribes with a whole page of what they did throughout the year! Please, just say Merry Christmas, and lets move on, we don't really care that your husband built a retaining wall this year,or little Billy scored his first soccer goal, give it a rest.

lottery players who take 5 minutes to pick out their all their scratch tickets at the convenient store counter, when you're behind them just waiting to pay for a carton of milk! and they always say "gimme" to the store clerk.
happy festivus!

We in the middle of a recession and this is all you can come up with?

My grievance is when someone pulls up to the light in the left turn only lane only to go straight, cutting you off. I really want to do something nasty to them, but I get them back in my own way, I took a sign language so I can say things to them and they dont know what Im saying

Having to root for the J... For the Je... Nope, just can't do it.

I LOVE Festivus! OK mine are:
1. Drivers who do not put their left turn signal on while waiting at a red light only to put it on the second the light turns green trapping the rest of us going straight behind you. WHY? Can someone answer this for me? You know where you're going, the rest of us DON'T that's the point of turn signals, other drivers!!!!!
2. Drivers trying to back out of a tight parking spot with one hand while holding a cellphone in the other.
3. People who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom.
4. Drivers who don't put their lights on during a rain/snow storm. You can see but to the rest of us driving you are invisible and therefore a hazard. Wipers on, lights on!!

For those who reference our next president as African/American "only." How's "our first Bi-Racial President" sound?

From the Webster/Merriam Dictionary: (African American)
noun
an American whose ancestors were born in Africa [syn: African-American]
His mother was from Kansas.
Splitting hairs??

Okay, it's a small, picky one, but it BUGS me! Real-estate writers, salespeople, etc. who refer to houses as "homes." I see this all over the Globe nowadays, and it strikes me as uneducated and weird. Example, "This Brockton home has a wooded backyard, four bedrooms, and an amazing infestation of carpenter ants."

You can't buy or sell a HOME, you buy or sell a HOUSE. (The only homes known as such are euphemisms for institutions: old-folks' homes, nursing homes, and foster homes.) A HOME is something you've earned because you put effort into making it homelike. Money won't buy one, even if you're Donald Trump (maybe especially if you're Donald Trump).

EmmyC:
You would love my kids (see my first grievance, I'm old-school), all our librarians do, even the grumpy ones. Still, I sympathize with you having to deal with what passes as normal behavior for kids these days. Truly.

Just take it easy on the well-meaning but not necessarily library conversant/comfortable folks.

Festivus cheers to you and yours!

People who don't at least offer to let me go ahead of them at the supermarket when they're shopping for a family of 6 and I have a half gallon of milk. People who ignore the "12 items or less" restriction. The salvation army bell ringing town crier ambassador of good will who tries to make me feel guilty for not giving them $ people who don't say "hello" back.

Okay, here's one I haven't seen yet. When in the checkout line at the grocery store and there's no bagger, quite frequently I push my cart to the end and step around it so I can assist the cashier with bagging, thereby speeding up the entire process for everyone behind me. However, when my order is finished being rung up and I need to get back to the debit/credit card reader to pay, I frequently find it inaccessible since the person behind me has moved their shopping cart in front of it. I always, very politely say, "Excuse me but I still need to pay." And they always look so surprised! Huh? Did you not notice the cashier was still scanning my items? And then everyone in line behind them has to move back too!

Yakety-cell-phone yakkers on the T. Doesn't anyone read on the T anymore?

Instructors who schedule their final exam AND final research paper in the same week.

School departments that decide a couple of inches of snow is valid reason for closing school for almost a week (wake up, North Shore!)

1. People who do not clean snow off of their vehicles. If you can't reach up there, buy a smaller car.
2. People who take their senior citizen parent's grocery shopping for "a bit of exercise". They get confused, don't move and tend to block things. Please, take them out for a cup of coffee instead.
3. People who walk like they are viewing an art gallery in front of you when you are trying to catch a train, get to work, et al. Move people.
4. People who break park rules and let Fido run free. Leash your pet, people.

People (co-workers) who meet "Good Morning" with a grunt, or "What's good about it?" Holy smoke--try a little.

People who post comments but can't spell or use decent grammar. We might be able to figure out your point, but we've lost all respect for it — and you — in the process. And if you're the sort who only types in capital letters, keep in mind that every reader is rolling their eyes at your typographic "shouting" and scrolling quickly past it to the next post.

If I am traveling at the same speed as the car in front of me on the Hwy but leave a large gap in poor conditions then don't pull into this gap. It is for my safety and that of the car in front. If you are passing me in the left lane then keep going past the car in front of me because we are doing the same speed.

Ok another T grievance. The poles in subway cars are there so people who don't have seats can keep themselves upright. 4-5 standing commuters can hold onto a pole. But NOT if you are hugging it or leaning against it. In NYC you would be stomped for this. Save the pole dance for the Festivus celebration.

People ordering their morning coffee. its not a science project people.
Examples of expectable:
French vanilla, cream and 2 sugars
Regular, cream and 3 sugars

NOT expectable is your special mix!! not joking .Every morning I hear some confusing list of needs barked at to the poor tired people working behind the counter.... some annoying self important idiot ordered this today.
This was this guys order today:

"I'll take a half decaf, half regular with 2 sugars, 2 sweet and lows, cream and a little bit of skim milk."

Yes, you car drivers are so considerate for not just killing all us pedestrians, and we need to continually remind you of that fact.

I have something to add to your #1 grievance.

People who stop at the bottom of an ESCALATOR and block all the rest of us who don't have a choice but to keep moving until we collide into them! I don't care how lost you are in the department store, subway station, mall, whatever. MOVE AWAY from the bottom of the stairs or you'll get run over!

Ahhhh... much better! Happy Festivus!

To Persnickety Wordperson (Comment #144):
I'm not a Real Estate agent, and I can see that you're reading home descriptions with an objective eye. I'm pretty sure it's all for advertising. 'Home' is termed simply because it sounds comforting. I'm not a marketing expert, but I feel that if you use 'Home', the reader will start thinking of the possibility of living in that particular dwelling. Besides, don't Real Estate agents try everything possible to convince you that a house is worth the purchase?

(Not to digress, but there was a scene from 'Arrested Development' when a Real estate agent sprays the kitchen with a 'cookie' scent before the potential buyers enter the house. I dunno, I thought that was funny.)

Jaded Bartender: I can well afford to tip so don't get smarmy; another pet peeve is when the wait staff make the customers feel like they have to kowtow. Here's the thing; I will tip you 20% if the service adequate. I will not take a disappointing meal out on the wait person. My father was a bartender for most of his life so I am sensitive to tipping. It is presumptuous to ask the diner if they want change. We do unless when handing over the bill with payment, we say; "you're all set" or "keep the change" but never, ever assume.

As luck would have it, Festivus also happens to be my birthday. More reason to celebrate. How about folks visiting friends or family in the hospital that insist on chatting on their cell phones in the hallway outside the patient's room? I'm a nurse at an area hospital - and this happens all the time. How rude! And if you politely ask that they carry the conversation elsewhere, they act indignant.
Happy Festivus everyone!

Cell Phone Grievance: TEXTING during a movie. A proud member of the texting generation, I urge all people who think they are important/cool enough to go text where the backlight from the phone isn't obnoxiously interrupting the film I paid $10 to see.

Here's one -- I can't resist:

I can't stand people being late ALL THE TIME because of weather. I'm sorry, but did you not realize that it would take you longer to get to work? And your responsibility is to be at work ON TIME.... therefore, leave your house SOONER!! Is that logic too tough to understand? Your responsibility is not to leave your house at a time that usually gets you to work on time.... Your job is to be AT WORK on time. Whatever that entails is your business, your fault for living where you do, in the weather you do, when clearly "I won't drive in snow."

A commuter complaint, what is it with people who decide to look for their pass just as they are in front of the turnstile then blocking anyone going through?

People that sit at their wood bar in Cambridge drinking 15 year old scotch complaining about running a football pool all day.

** Drivers who are lost in Boston- PULL OVER! Stop driving at 5mph and trying to turn down every upcoming road only to find out they are one-ways! ... Pull over, figure out where you are, call someone to ask directions, and write them down. **

Now I know how to navigate Boston, but when I hadn't yet learned my way around, there was rarely any space to pull over to look at a map or call someone. And when I was trying to figure out where I was (more often outside the city than in), there were often no street signs to give me a clue, or not enough light to read the signs that were there.

In situations like this, too many people insist on tailgating so that it is impossible to pull over without getting rear ended when there is space to pull over. Some people seem to delight in deliberately giving incorrect directions to make the recipient even more lost than they were before getting the directions. A little patience and consideration goes a long way. Cheers!

#120 "Squirting your windshield while driving in front of me. Yo Shamu! You just put water spots on my car and now my windshield has spots on it. Wait until there is no one behind you or when you are stopped."

Posted by Yogi

Hey Yogi,
Chances are that was me in front of you . My windshield wasn't really in need of a cleaning. I usually do that when someone is riding up my butt while I'm driving. See, the way I figure it: is : If I can manage to get your winshield as soaked as mine- you are obviously too close and that might help you get the hint that you are too close and it might be worth your while to back off, because I'll keep doing it until it sinks in.

Happy Festivus!

nces are

I completely agree with microwave hater about cooking popcorn or fish in a small office - I would add to that list egg salad sandwiches. My goodness, they're smelly.

In my house I've won the toilet seat war - I keep the lid down. That way no one gets special treatment, everyone has to lift it.

Charities that call and ask for donations, then, when you say you don't accept phone solicitations, they try a hard sell. Of course, blind children from Indonesia suffering from narcolepsy and extraneous digits are a pitiable situation, but WE DON'T HAVE ANY EXTRA MONEY RIGHT NOW!!!!! Don't do the hard sell. Why can't charities have a Do Not Call List, too!

Mike,

I could only think of you!!!!

Airing of the grievances...

* Judgemental / competitive parents...to each his own...can we just admit that there are many different parenting styles and move on?

* Parents who romanticize the early years of childrearing. We know you handled it all perfectly without skipping a beat. Your trophy is on its way!

* When a new register opens up and the clerk says, "Can I help the NEXT person in line?"...then the person five people back bolts for the newly opened register. Rude...

* First, I preface this by saying that I agree with your point about not being overly critical of store clerks, but .....when the employees at the D & D say, "Can I help who's next?" It's like nails on a chalkboard....but they're as sweet as can be!

* Close talkers....Please give us some space!

* When the people you work with (and see more than your own family and close friends) want to get together repeatedly after work.

*

1. Potluck parties at the holidays. You had 11 months to save up, people. Yes, I have a job, but that doesn't mean I afford to feed your guests. I'd much rather be invited for a simple coffee or tea and a few cookies if that's all you can deal with.
2. Shopping carts in the handicapped spaces? How about able-bodied people without a handicapped plate or sticker parking in these spaces? Happens all the time at our local T station, so don't tell me they were there for "just a minute."
3. Lost tourists looking at a map while driving- or should I say swerving? Pull over!

Happy Festivus. Can't wait for the Feats of Strength.

Drivers who play chicken with runners, joggers and walkers. When you notice we are both entering the intersection and, you the driver, have a stop sign anyway, don't block the crosswalk, rolling forward to insure I don't slow you down by a few milliseconds. Ok, you win, 2-tons of steel versus 1 puond of brains. Never mind, I win!

1. The cab drivers in the city think they own the road. Stop driving like nobody else is around you! I was in the left lane of Huntington Ave near Northeastern U, and a cab turned left onto Parker, cutting in front of my from the right lane and nearly involving me and another car in a major accident. Unacceptable.

2. a. Slow people on the sidewalk, meandering in the way of people who actually have somewhere to be.
b. People - especially chatty ones - that walk 3, 4, or 5 abreast on a sidewalk, not allowing for anyone to get by without pushing or asking first. Unacceptable.

Happy Festivus

H

Coffee shop grievances :
1. Don't bring in your "cute" canine and let them sit on the serving counter or let them stand on a high top table
2. Stay off your cell phone - take it outside; no one cares and the louder you are the more obnoxious you are
3. Take your feet off the table in front of you where the newspapers are stacked; do you really think i want to go through the paper pile with your nasty feet staring at me?
4. Coffee time is chill time; your loud conversation or banter is not welcome;
5. Serve me my coffee in porcelain not foam or paper; I didn't ask for it "to go" did I?
6. If I tip you and you see me put money in the tip jar, acknowledge it; simple smile or thank you works wonders
7. Don't bring your children in if they think it's an extension of their play room or nursery school. I don't hate children just their self indulged parents who think their children are princes and princesses.

#76, waltham resident - right on. I have a plan that involves driving and old clunker round the Fresh Pond and Alewife rotaries all day collecting insuring payments from clueless muppets that need to learn exactly what YIELD WHEN ENTERING ROTARY means.

People who spit in public. Disgusting. People who blow their nose in public with their fingers. Gross. People who chew gum incessantly and burst bubbles. People on the subway who listen to their MP3 player and shake their head and limbs to the rhythm and lipsynch. They look like idiots.

I agree on your grievance on people standing in stupid places. I thought I was the only one that notice this. It just amazes me how poor their awareness is in regards to their surroundings and their lack of basic common sense.

Unfortunately, these "people" just don't get it and probably never will. Please for the grace of god, move! Unbelievable.

I’d like to add my grievances to number 116 about those “sidewalk walkers”. It is so frustrating when you have a large group of people who so are unaware of their surroundings that they pretty much force you to either stand up against a building or move to the street when they march on by like a group of stupid lemmings. Don’t tell me you don’t see me… I know you do because you do make eye contact when I have to step out of the way… you don’t excuse yourself but march on by taking up the whole sidewalk because honestly, there is no one else here in the city but you merry band of idiots. It also infuriates me when there are people going the same way on the sidewalk walking side by side obviously trying to keep their place ahead of me in some race I’ve somehow entered, because letting me pass would what… put you in last place? Saying “Excuse me.” Does not work, you don’t move out of the way so after the second “Excuse me” attempt is ignored and I do push past you why the hell do you shoot me an evil look? What exactly are you upset at? And don’t give me that “I have a child” crap either… or am I interrupting your lesson to them on how not to have manners?

1) Strangers who walk up to me (a 6"4" woman) and demand to know how tall I am while they gawk at me. "I know this is a rude question, but..." If you know it's rude, why continue? Do I ask fat people their weight? Colleagues their income?
2) Men who surreptiously slide their feet over next to mine to see whose are bigger. I always smile sweetly at them and say "Men's 10 and 1/2, how about you?" At which point they blush and mumble "I wasn't measuring"
3) Men who blurt out, upon seeing me for the first time "But you are taller than my father!" As if I had violated the holiest of holies. Yep, I'm taller than my dad too. Get over it!

How about sneering at people for any strong odor *but* tobacco smoke? That doesn't make any sense. Why have any less compassion for people who fart a lot and/or whose sweat overpowers their deodorant and/or who save time by not showering until the end of the day and/or who prefer a quantity and brand of perfume you don't than you have for smokers?

Break out the aluminum pole!

1) As a beach-goer, I can't stand people who don't bring a bag to carry out all of their trash off the beach. Why should I have to pick up trash on my way off the beach because someone was smart enough to bring lunch but too stupid to think about the trash???

2) I work in a cube farm and I can't deal with people who take phone calls on speaker phone when they are alone. So rude.

Felt good to write that. Happy Festivus to all.

Oh the list is long, but distinguished. Many of them are T offenses, witnessed on a daily basis.

People with strollers the size of SUVs on the subway, and the entitlement attitudes to match. Are you kidding me? And NO, I am not giving up my seat for you unless you're elderly, pregnant, or handicapped. Your charming toddler who decides he wants to get out of the SUV-sized stroller is on his own.

People who get onto the subway car and stand RIGHT AT THE ENTRANCE when there is tons of space to move in. Are you afraid you won't be able to get out when it's your stop? Oh that's right, it IS all about you, isn't it!

How about the folks who get onto the subway car and instead of sitting side by side and conversing, they sit across the aisle from each other and SHOUT. (Particularly prevalent on the Orange Line from Malden Center.) The rest of us don't need, or care, to hear your conversation.

If you think you are going to take up a subway seat during rush hour with your bag or briefcase, think again. Yes, I AM the person who will say "EXCUSE ME!" very loudly while pointing at your offending parcel. And if you don't move it, I will pick it up for you.

Three grievances just off the top of my head...
1) Other drivers who don't give you the "thank you wave" when you let them merge onto the roadway in front of you. Most of them just look at you like you owed it to them.
2) When you see someone get into their car (and they've seen YOU), you put your signal on, they know you are waiting for them to pull out so that you can take their parking spot and they sit in their cars for what seems like hours! I usually want to honk, but don't. What are they doing in there?! SO RUDE!!!
3) The perennial favorite, people who rush onto a train or elevator BEFORE the actual passengers have gotten off/out, then they just stand there like a human speed bump.
Happy Festivus!

Miss Conduct,

While I truly agree with you in spirit, you can never have the right of way over a pedestrian in Massachusetts. Pedestrians ALWAYS have the right of way.

Still, that doesn't mean they aren't jay-walking and putting you and others in danger by being where they shouldn't and thus, in my book. they should RUN not walk to the nearest sidewalk.

Merry

Robin's original list was perfect! If I were to add any others, the following 3 would be my top picks:
1. Standing in a long line where the family or group in front of me is just contemplating what to order when greeted by the person behind the counter. I know someone mentioned this one, but I had to repeat it.
2. The bikers that ride 2 or 3 across on a main road and then get annoyed with me when I refuse to cross the yellow line to go around them (as they refuse to return to single file).
3. Administrators/employers, etc. who trademark their email signatures with a lower case letter (joe instead of Joe).

1. People who stop at Yield Signs.
2. People who drive 55 in the left lane a.k.a the "passing lane", then get upset when you pass them on the right. If someone is tailgating you in the left lane, move to the right, out of the "passing lane", and over to the "travel lane" and allow them to pass you. It's nothing personal, they just want to move a little faster than you.

How bout a friend of mine telling me the 150.00 wasn't a sufficient enough gift for me and my date, and then she didn't come to my wedding or give me a gift! ... and yes, its been over a year! What is wrong with people. Practice what you preach, don't be a good person only on your terms.

I take the T almost every day, and I can't get over the people who do not offer to give up their seat for the elderly, handicap, child, or pregnant woman. AND moreso, the people that look up and quickly look down. You should all be ashamed of yoruselves. If you aren't divorced yet, or you are single, this is the reason why. Your life dictates your actions.

I don't go to the mall very often but when I do I notice that people, for the most part, do not make any eye contact with others. I frequently get bumped into as a result and rarely does the offending party even acknowledge that they've almost knocked my arm off! How can people be so rude and into themselves at times?!

Tip jars at Dunkin Donuts and other similar places. For one thing I frequently get a wrong order and only find out when I'm miles away and for another, they are being paid already, they have not provided wait service they are pouring coffee and taking my money. If I want to leave a tip I should not feel coerced into doing so. I feel the tip jars are tacky.

I often throw cigarettes out the window of my car. I always felt bad about it but I always felt I had a legitimate excuse. My car does not have an ashtray(Most new cars don't). As a result, to put my cigarette out in an empty water bottle and/or soda can means I have to take my eyes off the road to look down. It's feels much safer to toss it out my window. I only do this on extended trips and was unaware this bothers people so much. I will pull over on long trips to have a smoke going forward. I don't want to be 'that person" this blog keeps referring too. My bad.

slow group walkers on the sidewalk. couples who won't break holding hands while walking on the sidewalk to allow enough room for you to pass...we get it you love each other, now move over. People who ride escalators on the left side. People who don't pick up their dog's poop. Taxi and city bus drivers that think the can merge traffic and make up their own rules as they drive. People who don't honk their horns when someone sits at a green light. People who wait for the walk sign at an intersection when there are clearly no cars coming. Left turn red arrows when there are clearly no cars coming.

Oh, #180 made me think of another one...Please do not leave your nut shells in piles on the beach. They are trash...throw them out! I do not want to set up my blanket, bury my feet in the warm lovely sand, only to look down and have your skanky spit shells all over them. Gross!

"Charities that call and ask for donations, then, when you say you don't accept phone solicitations, they try a hard sell."

I received a phone solicitation a while ago-- I kept telling the woman that if she would send me some information in the mail, I would consider giving her some money. She got nasty and informed me that there was a $15 minimum for donations. Of course, she didn't get ANY money, never mind $15!!

My grievance is people who ask inappropriate questions during a job interview. I seriously was asked today, "What have you been doing for money since you were laid off?"

You are not a concerned family member. It's none of your business.

If you must ask a question like this ask, "What have you been doing during your gap in employment?" and I'll gladly answer the same way I answered the above question, spending more time volunteering for a non-profit, but I won't be offended.

The person across the table has feelings too!

My addition to the list is the streets of downtown Boston. Earlier this year my wife and I spent our honeymoon in New England and found navigating through the streets of Boston impossible, especially around Fenway Park, which we couldn't get to despite our best efforts. We're from Chicago, so it's not like we aren't used to big-city driving, either. We otherwise loved Boston and hope to return someday, but it won't be high on our list because the driving aspect was a black mark on an otherwise wonderful week.

Happy Festivus!

My grievance: students who email to apologize for missing class, and then tell me that they forgot to set the alarm/slept through the alarm/were up all night doing homework. I'm awake for 2 hours before my 8:15 class starts and have driven an hour to get to campus. The least you can do is shuffle across the quad to be here. If you can't manage that, don't offer a string of lame excuses. They don't help your case, and they p*ss me off.

When you are driving and give a pedestrian the right of way by waving them on, then they give you annoyed look and wave you on, like they don't trust that you are really gonna let them cross. Like by waving them on your really just trying to set them up so you can plow them over. .... Worst part is that it ends up taking longer for both of us stupid.

To Lee and Tom who can't move 5ft away from an entrance to a building to suck on your cancer stick, would it kill you to move a few feet away from a door? Oops sorry, you're right, it probably would. Yes it's a free country, and I want my children to have the freedom to walk into a public building without having to inhale your stink.

Oh the grievances I'd like to air...many of which have already been touched upon. That said, I'll focus on the top two on my list.

1. Email / Voicemail / Visit: If you work in an office, you can empathize. Listen, I understand you need to get a hold of me for something...that's fine. But whatever the subject, there is absolutely no reason for you to commit the sin of emailing me with the situation, following it up with a voicemail asking if I got the email, before finally ending up at my desk to ask if I got your email and voicemail. Obviously I'm doing something that's far more important...SO GET OFF ME!

2. One Flight on the elevator: What more needs to be said...really!? Look, I understand if you're elderly, handicapped or have something in hand. But when you don't fit into any of the aforementioned categories, do us all a favor and take the stairs. Who ever you are, I'll tell you right now, the rest of us are dreaming of blindfolding you and pushing you out on the wrong floor. Leaving you to wonder, wide eyed and hair awry, searching for the elusive second floor.

Happy Festivus to all!

Great topic!
How about people who fill up their car with gas and THEN run in to the "store" to buy coffee, the paper, milk, whatever. If you've finished filling up, pull away from the pump and let the rest of us fill up. I'll even avoid stations that have a DD just for that reason alone! The same goes for paying for gas by cash - does anyone really carry that much cash with them? Use a credit card and pay at the pump. This is like the dinosaurs who still write checks at the grocery store.

Another driving grievance: There's a right lane drop ahead with ample warning . Usually this is due to construction but two notorious permanent examples are getting onto 128 North in Westwood from I-95 North where the left two lanes split off from the right lanes and then merge into a single lane with a posted 25 MPH speed limit and at the Rt 9 lane drop on 128 South. Anyway, the grievance is about the bozo who zips up the right lane way above the speed limit and then tries to force his way in front of all the cars who've already merged, at the last possible second so he can pass as many cars as possible and *win*, after most of us have merged into a single lane well before the barriers.

1. Talking at normal volume should CEASE COMPLETELY when the movie theter lights go down for previews! Enough people think that previews are the best part of the film to not want to hear you yammering ten rows away... dark=whispers!

2.

Sidewalk hogs - people who walk 1 or more abreast and take up most of the space. I don't bother moving anymore, I continue walking standing my ground and if they don't end up getting out of my way then I push them out of the way with my shoulder.

Bikers who ride 2 abreast at the side of the road and don't move. Unfortunately I can't use my sidewalk hogs solution.

People blocking aisles in supermarkets. Are you that stupid or selfish that you can't check to make sure your cart is out of the way?

Dog owners who disobey park rules by letting their dogs off leash and not picking up after their pets. And they get upset with you if you comment that their dog should be on leash.

People who love animals but not people. Yet you expect people to take care of you and your needs. Why don't you and your animals live in the woods where you aren't going to burden us.

People who drive obliviously with their cell phones.

People with anti-children attitudes. The US is a very child unfriendly place. A more tolerant attitude towards children would be beneficial. Young children have difficult days sometimes. Instead of looking at the child and parents like monsters, perhaps you can defuse the situation with some kind words or distraction.

I disagree with grievance number 4. I don't think it is logical to start a process where someone else is obligated to participate (sending regrets is a kind of participation) without their choice. I say that if the person doesn't respond that means they aren't coming...and it is probably a good idea to give them a deadline.

Self-centered jerks who think that the world revolves around them, like many of the posters on this blog seem to be. Here's a newsflash - we are free, in this country, to make different choices. We ALL need to be aware of the effect our choices have on others, and try to mitigate that effect (ie smokers smoking away from doors, parents teaching their children to behave, people with large bags keeping them on their laps on the subway). However, we all have the right to our choices, and who are you to criticize someone for those choices? Sheesh.

And as for standing in the grocery aisle, sometimes I do it because I can't find the item I want. However, I do try to stay to the side, and get out of others' way if they show up, and apologize for being in the way.

And to the person who thought the plow driver should plow his car out - that's not their job. They are responsible for clearing the street, not digging out every stinking car. If you don't feel like doing it yourself, I'm sure you can find someone who will gladly do it for cash.

I love it that people resent tailgaters (me too!) and also resent the "slow roll to a stale green light and then gun it and scoot through the light, robbing the rest of us of two minutes of our lives (me too!).

But, but,

If some nitwit is tailgating you, the slow roll to a stale green light, then gun it at the last second move flicks the nitwit off of your bumper and causes said nitwit a little karmic agita. I know this move. I have done this move. More than once.

I totally agree with the comment about people using their turn signals at the very last second- or worse- not at all! Please, PLEASE people, just signal and tell me if you are turning so that I can merge and not have to wait all day to wait for you to pass me, only to be irritated at you for turning instead! Or drifting in and out of lanes with out a turn signal- that's just dangerous. Ugh. Using a turn signal is NOT giving information away to the enemy (as I once heard it referred to by a comedian), it's just common courtesy!

People who talk on cell phones while shopping - I have no problem with folks that need to call for a specific purpose, but while I'm browsing the racks at a store and some stranger is on the other side of the rack on the phone filling Mary in on what Susie said the night before and why they aren't speaking or why there child got arrested...I don't care and don't want to hear about it - shop or go elsewhere to have your private conversations the rest of us don't want to feel like we're eavesdropping just because we happen to be within earshot.

When I'm waiting to cross the street, and there's only one car on the road, don't slow down and stop! Just keep driving! By the time that you've slowed down enough that I can safely walk out in front of you, you've already wasted enough time that you could have been 2 blocks away by then, and I'd be further along crossing the street. You don't deserve to be waved at.

If you ever push the crosswalk button and don't wait for the light to change before you cross, you're a jerk. You'll be holding up traffic for no reason when the light does change, and it's probably in a busy intersection. If you push the button, you are obligated to wait for the traffic light to change - or don't push it at all!

People who refuse to push in and away from the door on the T. There's plenty of open space next to you, so move over. This goes for everybody!

One thing that really gets me is the inconsiderate nature of those listening to music while using public transportation. If I can hear your music blaring through your head phones then you obviously have the music up too loud or you need to see an audiologist! Also, no one really wants to hear the tinny sounds of your cell phone playing the latest Jay-Z hit!

Turn down the volume!!

People who walk into the gym and just start changing the TV channel without asking the other 5-6 people in the same room if they are watching the TV.

People who are out shopping this week for Christmas and are totally rude because the traffic is bad and the malls are crowded. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency for everyone else.

People who talk on their cell phones while they are "working out" at the gym.

People who honk their horn at an intersection because it is their opinion that I have enough time to pull out into traffic. Guess what? You're not paying my insurance if I cause an accident!

People who cannot find the vibrate setting on their phones during concerts, church, movies, etc... Unless you are a brain surgeon on call, you are really not THAT important!

1. People who smoke at the beach.
2. People who eat too loudly at the movies.
3. People who think they know more about public education and issues in urban areas who do not live or work there. I live and work there, hence I know more than you do and your comments just end up being ignorant and racist.

Happy Festivas!

Completely forgot to mention -- my other main grievance with idiots in wheelchair accessible parking spots -- people with legit plates or tags who park in the accessible spot then SIT IN THEIR CAR and wait while a perfectly able-bodied person runs into the store. This makes me so angry. My husband (wheelchair user) will often drop me at the door at the grocery store, then go find a regular (non-accessible) spot to park in and wait for me.

URGH!

When you ask (tell) me to come to your house to pick something up, and I have never met you before--let alone your 2 HUGE dogs--PLEASE keep them restrained. It was bad enough that they "greeted" me at my car door, rendering it near impossible to open! When I finally busted through the defensive line, I was sacked from behind while walking to your front door! I won't bore you with my recent spinal fusion surgery story...but you get the jist. Furthermore, when you SEE your dog's head at the same height level as MINE......GET HIM the !#$%*& OFF ME! I do not want to hear how friendly he really is and how he won't hurt me. Uuuummmm....YEAH....he did! A whole bottle of Vicodin worth of hurt! Stupid dog owners! You know who you are! Happy Festivus!

How about people who take up too much space on public transportation? Unless the train is 2/3 empty - move your bag, feet, leg, you name it. Also, people who crash out on the commuter rail & use up the 3 person seats as if they're stuck at the airport overnight. Its the commuter rail people, you're not going very far. Thanks for letting me gripe! Keep it coming!

People who take up precious space on the T with their backpacks, baggage or shopping - hold it on your laps.
Parents who don't teach their scholar children how to properly take the public bus to school. The kids sprawl all over the place, dropping the afore mentioned backpacks on empty seats,chatting loudly either with each other or worse on cell phones - incredibly rude.
When my Dunkin' Donuts card doesn't work why aren't the clerks trained to immediately enter the number, I KNOW there is money on it, don't stand there with a stupid look on your face when I tell you to try the number on the card. And to that rude woman who has no time, trying(and succeeding) to get the clerk to void my transaction just takes more time - go bother another line if you're in such a hurry - or better yet why are you stopping for coffee?!!
ditto #84, why at my drive did you decide to cut the snowbank in half and my neighbor's plow driver who instead of plowing up the driveway to institution's parking lot, dumps the snow across the road so it can end up in my driveway when the plow comes by.

Some of my grievances are about replies here that show a lack of thought and/or intelligence.
--Smoking outside. We're not complaining that you are smoking outside, we're complaining that you're smoking outside within about a 1 foot radius of the door. I don't think 10 feet is too much to ask. If you don't think it's a big deal, try walking into the Mcdonald's at Washington & Kneeland on a cold or rainy day when they are all cramped in the vestibule (not even outside) using it like a makeshift bong.

--Passing on the right. If you're doing 60 in the middle lane and I'm doing 65 in the right, why should I cut across 2 lanes so I can pass you "properly.” That would be more of a hazard than passing you on the right. To add to this grievance, how about the people in the left lane with a mile of traffic behind them and a mile of open road in front of them who don’t understand they are the problem.

--Dressing for the weather. We’re not offended by your lack of dress. You can dress how you want, just don’t push me out of the way because you’re cold or your stylish new pumps don’t handle so well in the snow.

Now for some of my own/agree with some others:

--Your kids. They’re obnoxious. Enough said. Also, I referee youth hockey but I’m sure it’s the same in all sports, little Johnny ain’t going anywhere. Little Johnny will be lucky to play for a D-III college somewhere so just shut up and watch little Johnny play.

--People who don’t get out of the way. Everyone has mentioned the subway (I especially like the cash customer who rushes to the front of the line to pay ever so slowly), add to the list the folks in South Station who park in the middle of the aisle staring at the magic board waiting for their train.

--Incorrect grammar. There is a place. Their is a person’s belonging. There is short they are. That is just one of many examples I see daily, even here (post 47, love what he said, but it’s worst not worse, and he’s a lawyer). Please folks, figure it out and stop letting high school students type more coherently then [sic] you.

Can't believe this one hasn't been mentioned after more than 200 grievances aired -- retracting dog leases. People, these are evil. No, you can't retract Fluffy as quickly on one of those things as you can by simply hauling in a regular leash hand-over-hand. Also, newsflash for you -- the wire-like consistency of the retracting leashes make excellent trip hazards for anyone near you and can also far more easily cut your hand if you are forced to use the hand-over-hand method to reel Fluffy in out of traffic.

akmon -

lighten up, really. Of course everyone is free to make their own choices but, as the grievances show, many people do not understand how their choices hurt others. That is the point of this column.

But since you are calling us all "self-centered jerks" , without knowing any of us, I may add, you obviously do not understand how your choice to insult us, well, that just proves my point, does it not?

Newsflash, you should never be standing in the middle of the isle when looking for a grocery item but thank you for moving over.

I am so happy to see so many of my grievances already covered (I had no idea I was so cranky, btw.), but I need to mention a Freecycle-related one. I love Freecycle and have given lots of stuff to people who really want it, and I totally understand that this is an extra-tough year, but to anyone who posts (sometimes repeatedly) Wanteds for Wiis, new laptops, and late model cars, are you kidding me? Also, to those of you who post Wanted after Wanted after wanted and e-mail me for everything I post an offer on and that get mad at me for not having the item anymore even though I already posted the taken message: stop it. It. Is. Not. All. About. You. My guess is this advice would fit into the rest of your life, too.

Drivers who give me the horn, finger, or dirty looks just because I pulled out in from of them, when there is no one behind them, and then take 15 or 20 seconds to accelerate up to the speed limit.
And how about those folks who walk through malls, business districts, and expect me to look both ways when exiting a store, interupptng my cell phone conversation.
Finally, I don't get it when a person gets all put out of sorts because he opens a door to a store and I go out through it, even though there was another door I could have pushed open for myself. So what if he has an enlarged prostate and is just trying to get to a bathroom before he has an accident. Sheesh, what a maroon!!!
Happy Festivus everyone.

Happy Festivus! So many grievances, so little time...

My pet peeve: Rubbernecking. So many times my evening commute is made miserable by a traffic accident on Rte. 128 - on the OPPOSITE side of the road! What is it you people are hoping to see? Charred vehicles? Mangled bodies? Please keep driving straight ahead at a normal rate of speed, making sure not to rear-end the rubbernecker in front of you...

Thanks, I feel better already.

Cant read all to see if its been covered...but alot has to do with driving. I have one to add. When you are going along with traffic, KNOWING you are getting off the next exit, etc. when some MORON weaving through traffic 20 MPH faster than everyone else then bombs in and forces his/her way into the lane so they can get off the exit too. usually they only gain 5-10 cars...who can realistically be in that type of rush!?! (some exclusions apply of course) If Mass Insurance wasn't so expensive i would intentionally crash into those people just to inconvenience them!
Also in the malls...most malls have two main sides and carts in the middle right. people need to learn that the carts in the middle are like turn lanes on the road, they are there to keep the middle clear so you can go from one side of the mall to the other without interfering with traffic! STOP walking against the flow of all the people in the mall!

Commenters who insist on calling out other commenter's grievences even though this is a forum SOLELY for airing grievences, not for giving us all an excuse as to why you do what you do.
The airing of excuses is not a part of Festivus. SAVE IT!

People who think interrupting clerks struggling through long check out lines to ask if they have a particular item in stock or other question they should ask someone else.

People who talk about themselves in the third person.

1. Blinkers. They're not optional- use them. You don't know who or when someone else might be relying on them. Even if you think you're the only one on the road (or in the world apparently), use them. Failure to use them just shows how lazy you are.

2. The rule is, stay right except to pass. Period. There are an overwhelming number of silly people living in one lane with a glazed look on their faces. I'm tired of it. Especially when you see two middle lanes passing a line of cars in the fast lane. What is that? Just remember as you're driving along, hmm, hmm, hmm... oh yea, stay right, except to pass. Then move over. You would be amazed at how efficient and fast traffic would move if we would only follow this one rule. It would almost completely eliminate traffic tie-ups, but we're too ego-centric to control our actions, even when it benefits us. We think anyone who passes us is somehow getting away with something or is somehow asserting themselves at our expense or something. Even if we're not in any particular rush, we work ourselves into a frenzy instead of enjoying the ride. There should be a lot more people in the slow lane than ther are now.

3. People who barge in or try to conduct business or leave .50 for a paper while you're conducting a transaction with a sales clerk. It's rude. I don't care if you think you're the king of all creation. Show the world that you have a modicum of breeding and wait your turn.

4. People who take the wimmpy way out and don't call people out on their lousy behavior. Take a minute to stand up to the schmuck who just cut in front of you. If it come to blows, so be it. Take a stand for right once in a while. And not just on the Internet.

5. Companies that have no self-control and advertise the hell out of Christmas starting in October. Please don't cheapen a holiday that means something to the rest of us to that extent. There comes a time when, even money has to show some sign of conscience.

6. Hold the door for someone. Are you so important and in such a rush that you can't take 10 seconds to make someone else's day just a tiny bit easier and friendlier? It's the little moments when we share and acknowledge each other that make this journey easier. You will never have this planet all to yourself, so make it a happy trip for everyone.

That felt great! Thanks.

People who don't turn on their headlights when it's raining or snowing -- especially if their car is white or gray and blends in with the sky. Why not make yourself as visible as possible to other drivers in bad weather?

This is in response to #8. If you want to WALK UP THE ESCALATOR do the rest of us who DON'T WANT TO and TAKE THE STAIRS that are available!

Here is a brief list of my grievances for the year:

1. People (you know who you are and should be ashamed) who won't give up seats on the various forms of public transportation to the elderly, handicapped, or pregnant.

2. I have to echo the sentiments of those who wrote about people not removing snow from their car, SUV, truck, etc. roofs. It's not only inconsiderate, but dangerous.

3. Taking yout toddlers out to Wal-Mart at midnight. And you wonder why they complain and you can't get them out of bed the next day?

4. While we're on that note, why do people pump their kids full of soda and wonder why they are bouncing off the walls?

5. Echoing another grievance - Strollers the size of aircraft carriers. Some of these things are so big, I can park my car in them. Don't think because you have a stroller, you can blow through people like you have radioactive waste.

6. Yet another: two words; personal space. If you walk too close behind me, I will stop suddenly; count on it. I'm big enough to put someone on his/her back.

7. Annoyed by someone talking on a cell phone in a public restroom, flush repeatedly. It's fun.

8. Robin says: No politics, people have been warned.

9. Let's try to clean up the language a bit. The "F" word is not a utility word to place wherever is convenient.

10. Trash TV - Whatever happened to the sitcoms and crime-dramas? It seems everything is replaced by tattooed and pierced clowns eating the innards of something for money.

11. I was only planning on 10, but needed to include this one. Let's be nicer to one another and prove etiquette and chivalry aren't dead.

This felt good! Thanks for reading...

When you give up your right of way to another car and drivers behind him/her scuddle right after.

People who stand about 2" behind me in line (especially Starbucks in Putterham Circle) and insist on inching up each time I shift one way or ther other. GIVE ME SOME PERSONAL SPACE! You aren't going to get your coffee any faster by letting me feel your breath on my neck.

Life is too short to be annoyed all the time. And the purpose of manners is to ensure that no one is uncomfortable. Why is every one concentating on being offended instead of trying to figure out how not to offend any one else? world peace is not going to happen when we are angry at the world.

Robin says: Festivus comes but once a year. If you don't want to participate, then don't. No one is forcing you.

Follow up to 106 and 108 - When we are waiting tables, we do not have TIME to saunter over to table # whatever and say, "Oh, I'll be right back with your change sir." 9 times out of 10, the person says "Oh no it's all set", while your already twenty feet away from the table, and you then wonder, did he just say it's all set or yes I need change? So then, you go get the change anyway, come back, and the people are gone. Or, if you do hear them say its all set, there is this awkward turnaround that we have to do, and we mumble thanks because we were rushing away, and then it comes across even more “rude” and like we don’t care that you left us a nice tip. This whole thing wastes time, and you cranky "guests", as we call you in the food service industry, need your drinks, food, and most certainly the CHECK as fast as humanly possible. So please, give us a break when we ask if you need change. We are trying to save ourselves and YOU precious time in our busy lives.
BTW – servers make $2.63 an hour, which, after taxes, comes out to be anywhere from NOTHING in your paycheck to maybe, if you’re lucky $8. We only get paid by TIPS. This is not a myth. If you don’t tip us, we do not get paid.
Happy Festivus!

Great list - I agree with many! I have to admit I've been guilty of some of these offenses from time to time, but I try my best to be conscious of others.

Here are my top
1) People who stop in the middle of a traffic circle to let you in - it's nice, but messes up the flow of the circle. Learn the traffic rules. If you are in the rotary already, you have the right of way. This happens a LOT in the downtown Framingham rotary.

2) People who are not handicapped who park in handicapped spaces, especially during storms. The weather is bad, and the parking spots close to the supermarket may be used up, but that doesn't give you the right to park in the spots reserved for those who really need them.

3) People who drive in the Fast Lane only lane of the Mass Pike only to merge out of the line at the last minute causing a back up for people who actually have Fast Lane.

4) Out of respect for others, PLEASE take your hat off when eating at nice restaurants!

My grievence is with all of you that are in my way in the moring when I am trying to get to work. I am tired of sitting in traffic so please stop driving like morons and crashing in to one another. Stay home so I can go about my day in peace!!

Thank you and Feliz Festivus! Some of these already mentioned but I repeat for emphasis.

1. People who throw anything out a car window. Especially lit cigarettes.

2. People who turn without using their directional.

3. (this is targeted at a niche audience) - People who are invited over for dinner and insist my pets be "put away somewhere" because their children are afraid of cats. You will not be invited again.

4. Ill-behaved children in a moderately expensive restaurant.

5. Children flying first-class on the airplane. I never fly first class, but feel very sorry for the folks shelling out $1000 or got the lucky upgrade only to have the back of their head kicked repeatedly by Eddie Jr.

6. People who never RSVP or, worse, RSVP AFTER THE FACT: "Oh sorry, we wanted to come but Eddie Jr. had a playdate and we weren't sure which to do - your catered dinner or the playground."

One more big one:

Neighbors who set up their outdoor speakers and play their music so loudly I can hear it INSIDE MY HOUSE. You may like 80's acid rock, but I don't.

As someone currently awaiting about 20 RSVPs from an invite I sent out about three weeks ago, I couldn't agree more with #4. Make a decision and move on. There is even a Maybe option, so use it. I'm inviting you to my home, the least you can do is respect me and my time/money enough to respond. Or maybe you won't be included next time...

Smoking right next to the building entrance is the issue, not smoking outside. Please move away from the entrance; the point is to keep the building smoke-free.

RE: trajectories -- Poeple who ride the escalator then stand at the top of it, blocking the ascending folks behind them.

Office mates who talk on the phone all day long, sometimes both office and cell phone, sometimes yelling at the person on the other end, always very personal conversation ...

I am an arts, culture, and history writer/columnist from Salem, so here's my general contribution to this good cause (BASIC MANNERS! hear, hear!) drawn from the 19th century, where oft I dwell:

"2617. The essential part of good breeding is the practical desire to afford pleasure, and to avoid giving pain. Any man possessing this desire, requires only opportunity and observation to make him a gentleman ..." (*or lady)

"— Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1S57, by SARAH JOSEPHA HALE....
from RECEIPTS FOR THE MIILLION CONTAINING FOUR THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIVE Receipts, Facts, Directions, etc. IN THE USEFUL, ORNAMENTAL, AND DOMESTIC ARTS, AND IN THE CONDUCT OF LIFE. BEING A COMPLETE FAMILY DIRECTORY. RELATIVE TO
Accomplishments
Economy,
Ladies' Work,
Phrenology,
Amusements,
Etching,
Feather Work,
Potichomanie,
Beauty,
Etiquette,
Manners,
Poultry,
Birds,
Flowers,
Marriage,
Riding,
Building,
Gardening,
Medicines,
Swimming,
Children,
Grecian Painting,
Needlework,
Surgery, Domestic
Cookery,
Health,
Nursing,
Temperance,
Courtship,
Home,
Gut-Door Work,
Trees, etc.
Dress, etc.
Housekeeping,
Painting,
Women's Duties,
Words of Washington, etc."

*my note

I think others have mentioned this, but: People who don't shovel their sidewalks.

It's mostly just inconvenient for those of us without mobility problems, but snowy sidewalks force my housemate, who is blind, off her usual route so she can't find her landmarks anymore. People who use wheelchairs and can't access the sidewalks have to use the street, where they're below the eye level of most drivers and in even more danger of being hit than others. Plus, people with strollers, elderly people, and small children must all walk in the street because they can't just wade through the snowy patches.

It's truly a public safety hazard. I know some people can't shovel themselves, but they should really make arrangements to have it done.

And remember: REALLY nice people put salt down, too.

Dear Southeast Expressway, ARe you my husband?

Parents on the T (you know who you are) who abuse their small children when the kids are cranky. Maybe the children need sleep; maybe you should not be out gallavanting with them at all hours of the night just because YOU chose to have a child when you were far too young or otherwise unable to care for one. Get real. Having a child means adult sacrifices - like, in your social lives. Your child should be in bed at 10, 11 pm, not out with you and your cell-phone-obsessed friends. Do your child and yourself and get some rest. And, yes, that was me who admonished you for your behavior, and threatened to call 911 if I saw the abuse continuing.

Parents, or entire families, who are convinced a baby resembles that parent, when it clearly looks exactly like the other parent. Get over it!

People who get to work from home because they have a long commute. Oh I'm sorry - did someone force you to apply for a job an hour and a half from your home?? Maybe you should have thought twice about that!

Thanks MC

To go a bit further on your pedestrian grievances:
When you are approaching an intersection in a vehicle and you have a green light, then a pedestrian just crosses the street without even looking because they think they have the right of way in the crosswalk . So you have to slam on your brakes to avoid making them roadkill. Sorry Vin, they don't have the right of way when there is a traffic signal in place - look it up M.G.L ch. 89 sec. 11. Otherwise, what is the point of the traffic light if a pedestrian can just cross whenever he/she wants?! What is the point of a "DO NOT WALK" signal if you can walk anytime you like?

Ok, first - #204 needs to get a sense of humor about this - it's cynical, yes, but all in good fun. I try to abide by the whole "do unto others" principle myself, we get it . . .

One last one, with regards to the whole smoking thing - I don't smoke, but I think I get it at least a little better than the anti-smoking gestapo that seems to have taken over everywhere. Personally, I didn't care about smoke in the workplace - really, whatever you want, just don't blow it at me - otherwise, I would seek out places and spaces that were smoke-free, tolerate when necessary, and so be it, done . . . BUT - to have to run that "smoke gauntlet" outside of any public building, particularly a restaurant, is no fun at all, and shows a total lack of respect for the rest of us who don't smoke. Really, please - just move back a few feet so there isn't that cloudy veil of smokiness the rest of us have to walk through.

There, I'm done - Happy Festivus!

The proliferation of TIP JARS everywhere there's a register!!!

Dee

YES!!

Some of these are probably repeats, but here we go...
1. People who feel the need to talk on their cell in a public restroom.
2. People who feel the need to talk on their cell on the commuter rail. To the girl sitting behind me last month, don't fool yourself into thinking you were being coy when you loudly told the lucky person on the other end that your "Aunt Flo" was in town.
3. Poor grammar and/or spelling in professional publications, ads, etc. Unless it's necessary for comedic value, it's just sloppy.
4. The middle-aged guy in his crappy wanna-be red sports car who almost ended my life when he blew through a red light on his cell phone Thursday!

Everyone's grievances have a singular theme: self absorption! It is not all about YOU!!

Loved it, loved it, loved it!!! Can I add one more - people who walk two, three, four and five abreast on a sidewalk, and I have to bump into the middle of them even when I am walking along the edge of it and minding my own business. Look up people, be respectful and let others move along!

People who slept through class the day they taught grammar! Seriously, people, adding an apostrophe does not make a word plural. And "your" does not mean "you are"!

I have worked retail at a bookstore, and I have a few comments/advice for shoppers--specifically those who migrate to the children's section.
1. Please do not change diapers outside of the restrooms. It is unsanitary not only for other customers and their kids, but for the employees as well, since most parents seemed to think it was ok to leave said dirty diaper on the bookshelves.
2. Please do not let your child (or you) open up shrink-wrapped items. The children's section is meant to be enjoyable for the kids; however it is not a free-for-all during playtime. In the end, the store is just that, a store, and these products are there to be sold. Most of the items end up getting lost or taken by kids, and what is left has to be sent back to the manufacturer for a loss, and we are out of stock for someone who actually wants to buy it.
3. If your child has an accident, and excrement, urine, or vomit ends up on the floor or otherwise, please put your embarrassment aside and inform an employee. This will expedite the cleaning process, and customers/employees alike will not the unpleasant experience of discovering the waste either by odor, or by having the unfortunate luck of stepping on it.
4. The children's section is NOT a daycare. We don't mind kids enjoying themselves, however wild running, throwing books and toys on the floor, and mindless screaming/yelling/tantrums, are aggravating. Also, put down your magazine/newspaper for a minute and watch your kids. I can't even begin to count how many children have wandering out of the section unsupervised (this was a busy store located in downtown Boston, by the way).
5. One last thing, I understand that most infants are in a phase where they put everything in their mouths. Just keep in mind that the book or stuffed animal that your child is slobbering on at the bookstore has most likely been in many other mouths. I would send back items that were obviously chewed on or covered in drool, but we can’t catch all of them. It’s unsanitary, please stop it.
Thank you.

Yay on #1! Andy Rooney did a story on this a few years ago and actually showed videos of people moving away from the doorway when people were trying to get out and then MOVING BACK IN FRONT OF THE DOORWAYS. They did this completely unconciously. It was very funny.
I validate your grievance about the honkers and and not running over people in the cross-walk, but would give more of a thumbs up to your new #2. I've seen a rash of people start to cross when the light changes to green and the little crosser man to red. Stop crossing against the light, people! Those honkers? They are honking at YOU!
My current peeve was over people commenting on "non-essential" state workers staying home Friday. Most of you are non essential workers, too.

Parking Lot Grievances: When I am 3/4 of the way out of a parking space and a car zips around me because they can't wait the 30 seconds for me to finish backing out. Grocery store parking lots are the worst for this. Something about food shopping brings out the animal in people. It's probably related to all of that aisle blocking.

People who decide while in fast-moving traffic that they have to be the one to STOP in the middle of said traffic to let someone from a side street enter the stream of traffic, leading to the three or four cars behind them all needing to slam on their brakes to avoid rear-ending the idjamit who decided to be "polite". Sure, be polite, but not when it's going to cause a chain-reaction accident behind you.

To #232; Jen, I don't think you and other wait staff quite understand. I am not anti tips, I am anti thinking you deserve ALL the change without looking to see the amount of cash that is in the billfold. Like I've said before; let's say the total comes to $25. Your tip if you provide adequate service will be 20% or $5.00. If I then pay with a $50 bill at least look to see what is in there and then assume, unless you provided me with service that included a manicure or back massage, you will not, repeat not, be getting a $25.00 tip for a $25.00 lunch. Got it? Now as for the "we do not have time to saunter over" remark. It is part of your job as a waitress or waiter to come to the table and take an order, bring the order, see if there is anything else your patron would like; water refill, another glass of wine, dessert, etc. Now all of a sudden once we pay the bill , you are too busy to walk back with change and get your tip? Are you kidding me? If your pay is what you say it is, you should be grateful for that tip and the extra burden of walking back to the table one last time in order to receive it, young lady. Grow up or you surely will not make it in the service industry or any other for that matter with that attitude.

TV and radio ads for "male enhancements" and "female stimulators"....especialy during what used to be deemed 'family hours.' The Viagra and Trojan spots should go too. These are a rude intrusion, even if you dont have little kids.

Intolerant people. There are more and more of them - those who rant and make up their own facts to pillory smokers, most of whom are minding their own business and trying to be courteous.

Big SUVs and Trucks parked so close to my little corolla that I can't open the door - which now has a new ding.

"Music" that is so loud in a car that it can be heard and felt 100 feet away.

Tailgaters at 65mph...the state's the top speed limit, and tailgating a foot and a half from the back bumper is not a good idea. I believe the safety standard is one car length for every 10mph.

Drivers (usually SUVs or Trucks) with their lights/highbeams on in broad daylight. Usually they are also tailgating.

Women who complain about men leaving the toilet seat up. I agree with other bloggers, let's take a liberated approach. Please ladies look before you sit and put the seat up before you leave.

Sales clerks who ask, "All set?" instead of "May I help you?"

Cashiers who have no ability, or even try to count out change. From a former cashier, here's how its done: If the customer gives you $20 for a $5.75 bill, give the change back, starting with the coins and count 5.75, 6,7,8,9, 10 and 10 is 20. And please put the receipt in the bag.

Parents who do nothing to stop their children from grabbing and touching everything within reach in a store. I really hate to think about all the gooey-handed little 5 year olds, and where those hands have been, who paw over all the goods on store shelves.

You know what's sad? The people we are complaining about are probably not reading this blog! Happy Festivus! Pat yourselves on the back for still caring about these things and doing your best to make this world a littler kinder. Thanks

Robin says: One commenter did say he'd stop throwing cigarettes out the window of his car, so we've done a little good (as well as having some snarky fun at the expense of our clueless fellows).

Drivers who dart out in front of you as you're driving 35 mph down the road... even though there is not a single car behind you and they could have waited 5 seconds longer and not forced you to slam on your brakes.

To the jerk that yelled at me because I told my kid not to pat his dog---mind your own business! I don't care that your "dog doesn't bite!" It's my kid and I'm the one responsible for teaching him not to go up to dogs he doesn't know and start patting them! A leash doesn't mean he's available for patting and it's my job to teach my kid that---not yours---so buzz off and don't be so offended that I don't want my family patting your dog!

To all the guys that huck lungies on the side-walk---WHAT ARE YOU THINKING??? Don't you know people (including you) are going to walk through that spit and take it right into the house (where your baby is probably playing on the floor??) HELLO?? Why haven't you thought that one out??

OH YEAH--and to that witch on the train who was lucky enough to get a seat while I had to stand in the aisle. I'm not complaining about standing there, but you have no right DELIBERATELY hitting me with your newspaper and saying to your friend "I'm NOT moving!" Since when is your stupid newspaper more important than my safety??

I'd feel even better if you passed that metal pole my way!! Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us!!

Two I haven't seen:
1. SUVs with "whale" environmental plates. If you really cared about the environment you'd get rid of the gas hog and buy a fuel-efficient car.
2. The police officers who've watched cars in front of me blow through red lights without pulling them over. I've seen it more than once. People run red lights (and then cause accidents) because they know they can get away with it.

Three Grievances
1) Wishing someone Merry Christmas being to un-PC to say in any public situation. Feel free to wish me a Happy Chanuka, Ramadan, or Kwaanza, I won't take offense and understand the idea of good tidings.
2) People who think they are the most important thing in the world

3) YANKEES FANS

I do agree that bad grammar is a pet peeve of mine, especially in professional emails, etc. I did get a laugh out of this, though, boB.

"There is short they are. " Actually, they're is short for they are.

Men on the MBTA who have their legs spread so wide as to take up space in front of seats on either side of them. Trust me - it's NOT that big! I encountered one the other day who also had his arm draped over the seat next to him and then gave me a dirty look when I sat down. This is not a date, move your freaking arms and legs and sit like a gentleman even if you aren't one.

spitting gum out on the sidewalk, sticking it under a desk, dropping it on the floor of the movie theater, tossing it anywhere where I am going to step on it or touch it...throw it in the garbage please. This blog is about personal grievances, not about writing a bill, and sending it to Congress to pass law. This is a free (mostly) country, but these are simply all personal grievances in observance of the holiday. So no one should be getting offended.

My grievance for today - which actually happened this morning - would be the total .... ummm.... LOSER in the new audi behind me on 110 this morning, who felt it necessary to be honking at me and riding up my bumper to the point of neary hitting me. Nevermind that there was a large piece of slow moving machinery in front of me, or that we were in a no-passing zone, going around a curve, uphill, with the sun in my eyes. And lets not forget the EXTREMELY obscene gestures you were making with both hands while driving like an idiot. Or were you just pantomiming eating a large sub?

Hey LOSER - I'm not risking my safety or anyone else's so that you can get to the southbound highway and sit in traffic 5 seconds earlier. Slow down, stop being a boor, and enjoy your life before karma takes it away from you!!!

People who use their emergency blinkers when it is raining or snowing. These are for emergencies only! If rain is an emergency to you, move to a desert. It is distracting and confusing to other drivers. Lights on is a sufficient course of action.

Also, people who make derogatory comments about private school kids. My parents both worked two jobs to put me through a private high school because the public schools were crappy and dangerous (outside of MA). Please stop lashing out out of jealousy- my parents sacrificed to give me a better education than was available, yours didn't. Deal with it.

I'd like to take those who fling cigarette butts out windows one step further. What about people driving in front of you who blow smoke out the window or hang their cigarette out the window so the smoke doesn't fill their car. It ends up flooding into the car behind them. Also people who walk down a city street smoking a cigarette, leaving a cloud of smoke for those who follow to endure

Biggest Gripe: The 'Dawn of the Dead' shopping experience. I know your job probably sucks and is not the best use of your masters degree in French Medieval Poetry, but really now, is it too hard to acknowledge my presence while ringing up my items? A simple hello, how are you, did you find everything, etc is all it takes. You really should be thanking ME when I hand over my cash, esp in this economy. I have stopped going to a couple of stores because of the rude zombie staff, another store with clerk with manners now gets my money.

As for the Bags/stuff taking up an extra seat? Try this: Move said offensive items onto their lap while smiling sweetly and say "Do you mind if I sit here?" while not really giving the offender any choice in the matter. Same goes for the inconsiderate shopper with their grocery cart blocking the isle. I don't wait for the clueless/rude shopper to grow a conscience, I gently move it out of the way (I'm really doing them a service, aren't I?) while smiling, and get on w/my life rather than blowing a gasket and ruining my day.

Bicyclists!!!!
Can't say enough. You need to obey either the rules of pedestrians or the rules of motorists. You are NOT exempt from stopping at red lights or crosswalks. Mostly, you don't even slow down. And your obvious sense of entitlement that goes along with that is the worst of all.
One of these days, as you cruise through a four way intersection that has red lights for morotorists and walk signs lit for pedestrians to cross, I AM going to push you off your bike.

What about other people that exist? I hate when people do that.

My pet peeve is the opposite of Grievance 3. I work as a cashier in a retail book store and my grievance has to do with the customers who seem to think that they do not have to acknowledge me, do not have to make eye contact, and can't seem to find it in themselves to place money, credit cards, etc. in my hand. Placing the money on the counter rather than handing it to me is rude. These same people would and do find it inappropriate if I treat them in kind and put their change, credit card, etc. on the counter rather than handing it to them. I know this because I have done the experiment. I won't even get into the people that are holding conversations on their cell phones when I am trying to wait on them.

Robin,

Why are poetry and art "trivial"? I view them as essential.

Another of mine:
There is a woman who rides the 441 or 442 express bus every morning, the one that runs from Marblehead to Downtown Crossing. She uses the seat next to her at her own desk (as do many on the Newburyport/Rockport commuter rail line). It would be OK, IF as somewhere here said, the T was almost empty. But it's not - and it's not at rush hour.

Robin says: Read the paragraph more carefully. Everything that isn't necessary for bodily survival is considered "trivial" by some people. But those are the things that make life worth living.

I've got the best one for you:
Canceling at the last minute for a sit-down dinner (major holiday) via EMAIL or canceling by phone while the party has already started.

My gripe? Parents who do not "parent" their children. I am a mother of two young boys, and I make a concerted effort to keep them well behaved whenever we are in public. I strap them into my "Escalade" stroller so they aren't running around and touching things they shouldn't. I see so many other kids yelling, running around, grabbing things off shelves, and in some cases berating their parents. I've been teaching my kids that it's rude to act in that way, what are the parents of these children doing? Oh, they're talking on their cell phones while waiting at the checkout line while their kids annoy everyone else in the store.

reindeergirl- have you asked her to move her stuff?????

Of course I want to echo the rants about the clueless people that block entrances/exits, don't clean off their cars, and block aisles. Those that drive 55 in the far left lane, and those idiots that tailgate me when I am in the right lane doing 65...there are other lanes go around me I am in the right lane doing the speed limit.

And finally grocery store clerks that smash my bread and fruits and veggies, for the love of all that is good, cans do not go on top of veggies! They also over stuff a bag with cans. I seek out the self check out because I don't want your paws messing up my system, I want balanced bags and unbruised fruit and veggies and un smashed bread. I seek out the lane without a bagger, I understand that line may be a bit longer but it is well worth it for my sanity.

1) This rather goes with Sales Clerks not looking at you as they ring up your purchase, but even more annoying to me is when I've been waiting in line to ask a question or make a purchase, only to be asked to wait so the clerk can answer the phone to tend to another customer's needs.

2) I don't have a dog for a reason. Unless it's a service animal, please don't bring yours with you to my home, to the school to pick up your kid, or into a restaurant where I'm eating.

3) Please stop being a constant advocate for your child, and teach them to stand up for themselves. And for heaven's sake, please teach them manners! I am not interested in being hit over the head with a stuffed Elmo doll and then having you defend your brat's "need to explore and express her needs."

She's probably the same woman that hit me with her open newspaper---deliberately!!....Same train....hhhhmmmmmm

Some people are just more important than the"rest of us"....Festivus...

Bicyclists on back roads are the worst for me! Sometimes traffic has to go into the other lane to get around them, and when there are more than one of them on both sides of the street, it's a death waiting to happen! I commuted on the T for a very long time and PLEASE people, get up and give your seat to a pregnant or elderly person! It's hard enough to ride standing up when you're healthy so have some consideration.

I can't believe no one has mentioned this one:
People who wear too much cologne/perfume. I mean, seriously, do you really think it is appealing that you singe my nose hairs and cause my eyes to water when you walk by? I should not be able to tell that you have been in a room 30 minutes after you left!

Here is a message for everyone who chooses to wear it:
I guarantee that if you regularly apply more than two (2) squirts of cologne or perfume, people talk abut you behind your back. Please, for the love of God, stop it!

Drivers who whine about bicyclists without knowing that we have just as much right to the traffic lane as they do. OMG...you mean you had to wait 10 seconds before it was safe to pass? Get a life, will ya! Odds are you're just going to sit at the next red light anyway.

In response to #263 which said this in response to #216
"I do agree that bad grammar is a pet peeve of mine, especially in professional emails, etc. I did get a laugh out of this, though, boB.
"There is short they are. " Actually, they're is short for they are."

Add Microsoft autoCorrect to the list. Obviously I wouldn't use there twice and omit they're. I hate Microsoft.

1) Wash your hands. I hear the toilet flush and the door open. Did your mother not teach you better!

2) What happened to common courtesty. I open the door for you.
Thank Me.
I let you in front of me in bumper to bumper traffic or stop so you can turn.
Thank Me.

Acknowledge others for goodness sake!

#282 I agree you have a right to that lane...what you don't have is the right to magically switch to pedestrian mode to skip that red light you mentioned we were stuck at.

foodie,

Too funny! Happy Festivus!

Robin,
Thanks so much for the clarification.

Bailey,

I have asked her - she very unwillingly moves it. Then I feel guilty, because she has papers everywhere.

and also 282- if you have a right to that TRAFFIC lane- then you also have a right to abide by the TRAFFIC laws

I love this blog, but can't read all the comments now, so don't know if this one has been mentioned: the most obvious at gift giving time. THANK the person who gave you the gift! If you are a relative especially, ACKNOWLEDGE it and then thank the giver. I have several in-laws who refuse to let us even know if their kids got the things we sent 3000 miles to them, much less thank us or (yes) have their kids WRITE THANK-YOU NOTES! I make my kids do it, and have since they could write an 'X' on the paper; if nothing else the kid should be made to realize that this practice begets FUTURE gifts!

1. What is it with the younger generation (mostly young boys) that insist on wearing their ball caps 15 degrees off center?!?!
2. Speaking of the younger generation... why do you feel SO entitled to everything without woking for it?
3. I second, third or what ever place I'm in, the IDIOTS who do not clean the snow off their cars.
4. Non smokers... we are already outside!!! where else would you like us to go?!?!

Gather round the pole everyone! next is the "feats of strength"

People who steal parking spaces at the mall. Last night a car was waiting very patiently for several minutes to take the space of someone who was a little slow in leaving. I passed the waiting car twice so they were there for a while. When the exiting car backed out, another car came in from the opposite direction and stole the space. The waiting driver rolled down the window and said something along the lines of "hey that's my space I was waiting" and the carful of folks in the stealing car were hooting and cackling and high-fiving each other. Beyond rude! It's the holidays people, show some patience and grace.

As if ths year isn't bad enough - I work for 10 salesmen who all make over 6 figures each - and I have seen NOTHING from this year for the holidays! Makes one feel very appreciated

Hope it''s not too late to add to the Festivus gripes...
1) Bad grammar and spelling in blogs & comments
2) Writing a check in a store -- hey, it's the 21st century & I have two words for you "debit card"!
3) You get to the beach nice and early, walk far from the entrance, set up with your chair and book, all alone and peaceful, and within minutes that family with 6 moms and 12 kids comes and sits right next to you or in front of you, blocking your view of the water and yapping and yelling and smoking all day. Hey, it's a big beach! Get away from me -- I was here first!
4) Cigarette butts on the beach -- it's not a big ashtray!
5) People with no children or parents of very young children who say about teenagers "I'd never let my child do that!" As if you have any control over what your child does or how they act all the time (especially after the age of about 11)! Or else they assume that every surly, rude or nasty teenager is a result of bad parenting. Just wait!

Thank you!

Here's one I haven't seen- people just don't get the point of bringing your own reusable bags! At least once or twice a week I will be out shopping, and ask a clerk not to give me a bag because I've brought my own, or already have one from another store. They try to insist that I take a bag because its free. It isn't free from environmental costs! It is so vexing to see them then crumple the bag they were trying to force on me and throw it away- I was trying to prevent waste. I even had a Target employee hold up my red Target bag and ask if I wanted my stuff put in it. I said yes, and while I was busy paying, she put my purchase into a plastic bag, and then put the plastic bag into the reusable Target bag! Why is this such a difficult concept?

"1. SUVs with "whale" environmental plates. If you really cared about the environment you'd get rid of the gas hog and buy a fuel-efficient car."

I have to take issue with this one. SUVs and trucks have gotten a horrible name recently as environment destroyers and gas-guzzlers but thats really not always accurate. I know that Toyota at least makes some Ultra-low Emissions SUVs which cause less pollution than the average passenger car. I also know that I get just as good mileage in my compact pickup truck as most passenger cars. Not to mention the fact that we don't know how much other folks are actually driving. If you've got a car that gets 50mpg and you drive 20,000 miles a year you are likely causing more pollution than the behemoth getting 10mpg if he/she only drives to the store and back once a week.

So I guess my Festivus greivance is the well-intentioned but sometimes misguided knee-jerk reaction of people who hate these vehicles. Its especially annoying when one of my tree-hugger friends rants about how much they're doing to save the world and they gripe about these vehicles but when they find out I have a truck go "oh wow you have a truck can you help me move my couch?"

This happens to me all the time. I'm at the register after waiting my turn and a customer interrupts the cashier to ask where something was. One time I was returning something and a customer did this. The clerk tried to help him and then had to get someone else to help. There ended up being 3 people helping this guy and I was still trying to finish my transaction. I finally spoke up and told him to wait his freakin turn!

People who drive slow in the left lane. Please move into the middle or right lane. I'm not a speed demon, but please have some courtesy and common sense.

Clerks and cashiers - please acknowledge me and thank me. w/out me you wouldn't have a job. however miserable it may be.

happy festivus to all!

To the gripes listed above, which I agree wholeheartedly, I must add one. Yes, I know we are all busy this time of year pulling together all the details that will make this Christmas a Currier and Ives scene of perfection. But do not expect me to give you the courtesy of waiting for you to pay attention and decide when you're making a turn off a major road while you're driving and talking on your cell phone , or trying to catch the elevator while you're distracted, or for that matter shopping at the grocery store while chatting on your cell phone oblivious to anyone around you trying to reach the peanut butter jar on the top shelf. Be aware of your surroundings, especially in parking garages where your potential safety is at stake.

I plan on walking down the street while smoking, holding my cigarette out of the window, and then throwing it out the window after this. I understand the littering aspect of it, but holding it out the window? Are you ok? Don't blow smoke out of the window? Are you that self-indulged? Its a free country, we can do all of the above except litter. There's my grievance, Happy Festivus

My biggest winter bugaboo is snow plow guys who either :
1. don't finish the whole road and leave a HUGE pile in the middle of it so you either can't get around it or get into your own driveway!
2. PLEASE, if you see a small woman, such as myself , painstaikenly shoveling the end of her driveway - DO NOT cover the end of her driveway when she turns her back to finish the rest of the driveway! Seriously, how hard is it to move it a little bit off to the side when you see someone struggling? Its not and I swear you guys get off on it! Not everyone can afford to hire a plow guy to do their driveway!

When an exit on the highway is obviously backed up and people continue to the exit and try to cut in at the last second AND THE PEOPLE THAT LET THEM IN. If we all just kept our extremely slow moving bumpers close those jerks would have no where to go. Let them sit there until they figure out they will have to go to the next exit and turn around.

Here's a more serious one - and George's father on Seinfeld might have hurled a serious one at him but I can't remember what - my grievance is that I don't like when a particular family member tells me frequently that I'm wrong, even about things that are "opinions," when what I do or think doesn't agree with their ideas.

On the lighter side - well, more dangerous but less psychologicall weighty - are drivers who wander across the lanes on the highway. They just wander around, crossing the lines, just whatever they want, as if they're strolling through an empty park on a beautiful Sunday morning all by themselves.

Happy !@#$%^& Festivus!

The helath Nazis are out in force on this blog. There is no more smoking in enclosed spaces and while I think it should be up to the owner of the property if smoking should be allowed or not, this did help me quite smoking. However, last I checked, this is a free country and that means the freedom to do unhealthy, even stupid, things. My greivance is peole that will try to restrict freedom because THEY think it is good for you. I'm an adult and will do as I see fit.

To the smokers out there, please continue smoking if you'd like. just don't go blowing your smoke in my face or smoking close to the entrance of a building where we have to smell or inhale your smoke. get over your free country and all.

Happy Festivus to all the grumpy smokers with black lungs too.

Pedestrians who thinks it is okay to jay walk in front of moving bicycle expecting you to stop on a dime. My one and only cycling injury was caused by a group of pedestrians who stepped into the street when no cars were coming (not in a crosswalk) right into me. I was wearing a bright yellow jacket at the time. Boston Drivers show much more respect to cyclists then pedestrians do.

Who is going to wrestle the hostess? Here are more grievances to air...

People who steal lunches from office fridges. Someone used to do this to me, so I put some Metamucil in my tuna salad. I found out who did it when the thief was frequently indisposed!
Office affairs. Keep your hormones out the workplace please! I worked for a Federal agency where at least three managers were shagging co-workers, and they were all married to other people!
People on the elliptical or treadmill at the gym who yap loudly on the cellphones. I am trying to get rid of stress here, shut up!
People who question the teachers when they say Little Johnny is flunking or misbehaving. If you paid attention to your child instead of living with a case of rectal-cranial inversion, you would know this and do something about it!
People at Starbucks who order double shot no foam skinny soy latte and yap about why the poor barista is taking so long to make their order.
People who take their babies and toddlers out for dinner after 7:30 when they should be home in bed. It ruins dinner for the rest of us who either stayed home when our kids were that small, or got a sitter.

All these gripes make me feel so happy, so very very happy...best I've felt all month! Happy Festivus!

My gripe is Christmas music. I like it, but come on! It's in every store, on (almost) every radio station...it's even on the "on-hold" background tunes when you call stores/companies/dmv/you name it. Give it a rest. I celebrate Christmas and I'm sick of it...I can't imagine how people who don't can stand it.

AKMOM – We have no inherent right to do as we please. A little common courtesy goes a long way. As for you standing in the grocery aisle, put your cart to the side, walk to the other side of the aisle, and look. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to leave a cart in the middle of the aisle.

If anyone has read Stephen King's book Cell, that would be a perfect way to resolve the cell phone issue. I do not have one, never had the desire to have one and have no sympathy for people who absolutely cannot live without one. I can understand the need for one but not when you are driving when you should be paying attention to what is around your immediate area nor for extended conversations on public transportation, it is very annoying. It is only right that if you are going to be late to make a quick call and let them know you are on the way and then hang up.

Type your comment here...
People who think they know how to control/raise/correct problem behaviors of children without ever having had any of their own. Or even having had some of their own. Children are remarkably like real people. They are all different. I may be interested in people's advice or even help, if it is politely offered, but they shouldn't assume that they know them better than I do. Medical issues, family situations, unusual events may all have played a part in what is going on.

And yes, I am depriving myself of a lot to send my child to a very nice private school. If people don't approve, I don't want to hear about it. Obviously, it is very important to me, so for anyone else to carry on about snooty schools is just plain rude.

1) People who don't wash their hands before leaving the bathroom. Do they not realize that they have access to free hot water, free soap, and towels/blower?
2) Restaurants where the waiter/waitress get down to table level to take my order. I am not a preschooler, please stand when serving me
3) Dunkin Donuts drive through employees feeling entitled to my change. I don't care if it is a quarter, it is my quarter. If I feel you should keep it, I will tell you so.
4) Professionals that call me by my first name without being invited to do so, or without asking if it is okay. That goes for young children, too. I may only be in my 30s, but I wasn't raised to call an adult by their first name.

Oh, and let's not forget people that ask you what you've paid for something, or what you earn. In isn't your business what I have in the bank.

My addition would have to be people who are afraid of, or unaware of, handy words like "excuse me". How often have you felt the presence of a person behind you lingering awkwardly - so that you have to ask "I'm sorry, am I in your way?" when a simple "Excuse me" would alleviate both parties' discomfort. I was at Starbucks the other day and a woman asking a busy barrista for the soymilk stood there uncomfortably, but rather than dig out those two simple words, she barked annoyedly "SOY MILK?". People, most of us out there won't bite - engage us. Sometimes you'll get a laugh, make a friend, or at very least get what you want more directly.

People have really hit on some my personal favorites pet peeves here:
* Parking in the fire lanes outside of stores: So you're just "running in," but the rest of us live here?
* Pedestrians not getting that the light trumps the crosswalk: Nearly saw a young lady get wiped out by a bus just the other day.
* Couples/groups unwilling to break up their phalanx to accommodate oncoming pedestrians on the sidewalk: It's OK, I'll just walk in the grass -- wouldn't want you to break stride.
* Total unawareness of surroundings: What could be a better place to stop and plan where you'll go next than the first step outside the theater/store/elevator you have just exited, with plenty of exiters still behind you?
* Extra loud people: Unless I'm talking to you, you don't hear my conversations in a restaurant, on a plane, in a waiting room. Why must I hear yours?

And some new ones (unless I missed them):
* People swarming the the free samples at the supermarket, as though that tiny morsel is preventing starvation.
* When the deli workers hold up a slice of my order and say "How's that?" as if I could judge the thickness from 12 feet away. And really -- what difference does it make?
* The people who ask for and eat the proffered sample deli slice. Do you think you're "beating the system?" And did you miss out on your free morsel at the sample area?
* People who have children telling me how I "really should" see the latest Pixar cartoon or read the Harry Potter books, and how "adults appreciate it even more than kids." Please. Like there aren't enough grown-up movies and books in the world to keep me occupied.
* People who live in the south calling to gloat about winter temperatures. We get it. It's warmer in Florida than in Massachusetts. Duh.

Ahh, yes. Happy Festivus to one and all!

I thought of something else which is very annoying to the general public with regards to the MBTA trolley drivers. This irritates me and I cannot for the life understand why this has to happen on the Green Line every morning. No announcement, not a why who or what but at 7 AM if you miss the Lechmere trolley, you will be subjected to two North Station trolley's in a row with no explanation at all and have to wait 20-25 minutes for a trolley. Numerous calls to them do no good, anyone at customer service has always cut me off, been rude/

I hate it when people say "nu-ku-ler" for nuclear and "jew-ler-ee" for jewelry. President Jimmy Carter used to speak about "the threat of nu-ku-ler war." And jewelry is made from jewels, not from....well you get my point, right?

1. Personal Space Invaders - please stay a minimum of 12 inches away. This includes "close talkers".

2. Businesses that don't sand and expect their customers to walk on ice!

In reading the comments I've seen a lot of people complain about cell phone use and that "no one cares" to hear about the cell phone users life. If that is so true, why get so worked up about something you dont care about? Yes, there are people who are rude when using the cell phone, but if someone is using a cellphone at a reasonable volume on the train or in the grocery store, what business is it of yours. If they were talking to someone who was present you wouldn't be annoyed. the issue seems to be that you dont get to hear to entire conversation, which you find annoying. Maybe there just arent that many people who use their cell in a courteous manner.

oh...and my grievance?

When one uses the incorrect there/their/they're and then calls it a typo. That is NOT a typo. It is a blatant grammatical error.

Ditto sassysue!

Yes newer parents (today's kids and parents sure isn't like what we used to be), please hire sitters if you're planning on bringing them to a nice restaurant. Not all restaurants are kid-friendly for a reason. I didn't pay $$$$ to hear your child cry while the rest of us who also paid uber $$$ try to enjoy our meal.

Christmas music on the radio, and in the stores, and on commercials before Thanksgiving. Especially the complete conversion to Christmas radio.

Closing before posted hours. If you want to close at 4:30 instead of 5, or stop accepting forms before you officially "close", post a message to that effect. I promise, this will create fewer incidents than giving the impression that you are open for any and all business until close. Don't tell me at 4:35 that you'd like to accept my forms, but because you and your co-workers would like to go home, I'll have to come back the next day. Especially when all you have to do is toss them into the appropriate inbox, no processing required.

Dear No. 53: Regarding your comment about seemingly non-handicapped people using "handicapped" doors: My scar isn't visible, but the weakness and pain are real. I don't use a wheel chair, but sometimes I need to push the button to make the door open by itself. Neglecting do do so can result in hours of discomfort.

Drivers who ignore the fact that they are in a left or right turn only lane. Do not expect me to be pleased when I have followed the rules of the road and you try to squeeze ahead of me simply so you can make it to the next light that much faster.

Here's one that irks me every day. People that don't merge. When driving the kids to school, I take a left into the school driveway. The oncoming lane should merge one at a time with my lane but the oncoming lane thinks because it's on their side they have the right of way. Merging should be like a zipper, one from one lane then one from the other lane.

Grouops of people who walk side by side on a narrow sidewalk at a snail's pace. C'mon people! I have better things to do than stare at your collective asses all day!

Due to experiencing this daily, have to add it;
Cars backing out of a driveway who cut you off only to park in front of their home. Like this couldn't wait?

I'm done whining. Merry, Happy Festivus.

In the coffee shop, the first drink that the barista puts up is not necessarily yours. Listen, pay attention, don't take someone else's drink. Take a moment and stop being the center of the universe. As a former barista I've seen this happen too many times.
Pedestrians: yes, you have the right of way - but you are also responsible for your own safety. THINK before you take your right, you may just live. We are in Massachusetts after all.
Also, pedestrians, if you press the button to cross the street using a "walk" light. WAIT FOR THE LIGHT. Don't press the button, cross immediately and leave us drivers stuck with a pedestrian red light and no pedestrian! The rest of us have places to go too.

Some of the latest comments reminded me of a couple more... I don't mind Christmas music, but starting in early November??????????? C'mon! But the real problem is the SUPER LOUD music played in many stores now all year round. I have started carrying a pair of earplugs with me in case I get stuck longer than anticipated in the grocery store. I didn't run into to attend a concert, I ran in to buy some fruit and veggies in peace and quiet.

As for the loud children, and the ones who run around, in restaurants, don't even get me started!

A variation on the cashiers who are too busy talking/complaining with other cashiers/baggers to acknowledge the customer is when the conversation is in Spanish. Just because I don't understand Spanish doesn't make you any less rude.
Bringing your sick kids to work
Guidance counselors who tell students not to go into computer science.
Walkers and joggers who ride several abreast on our hilly, windy rural roads.
People who sprawl out reading magazines and books at the bookstore ... and the stores that encourage this. You prevent those of us who want to actually purchase from getting to the shelves and also damage the product. That's why I now shop on Amazon.com.

There's a flip side to 2008 grievance number two (ungrateful pedestrians). Yes, a pedestrian who's given right of way by a car should always wave to the driver and move a little faster across the street.

However, drivers sometimes impose this "favor" of stopping upon pedestrians who don't want it. Some pedestrians prefer to cross the street at their own pace. Elderly people, people on crutches, people with prosthetic legs, or even people with a simple sprained ankles move slower and don't want the "favor" of a car stopping and holding up traffic. They certainly don't want to scuttle across the street as a token showing of thanks to a driver who stopped, even though they didn't want that driver to stop.

There's an ebb and flow of traffic for both cars and pedestrians. Pedestrians shouldn't jump in front of cars, and drivers shouldn't hold up traffic for a pedestrian who was willing to cross on his own damn time, and that driver certainly shouldn't act indignant if he/she doesn't get the appropriate wave and scuttle.

So, yes, I completely agree with 2008 grievance number two, but drivers, in your eagerness to be courteous, also be courteous to those who physically cannot scuttle, and don't demand gratitude from those upon which you've foisted your courtesy, if that courtesy was not called for in the first place.

As a general rule of thumb, stop when the pedestrian is in the street or is obviously trying to cross, but allow traffic to keep flowing if the pedestrian is waiting patiently on the sidewalk and doesn't want to suddenly be at the center of a snarling intersection with angry, honking drivers. Putting someone in that situation isn't a courtesy.

People who know that you do not agree with them about matters political (or religious) and who insist on shoving their different views or opinions in your face. Can't we agree to disagree? If I can respect or at least accept that you are Libertarian/Republican/Green/Catholic, could you not do me the courtesy of the same? And I do not mean there is no room for debate, especially on politics, but making declarative statements contrary to my stated beliefs, for the purpose of getting a reaction is childish.

Someone mentioned drivers who do not move when emergency vehicles are trying to pass. I concur, and wish to add that once the emergency vehicle passes, please be courteous and move back into the driving lane without gunning past all the other drivers who are also pulled over. If everyone returns to the driving lane in the same order they pulled over, we'd all get back into the traffic flow smoothly. Thank you for the opportunity - I'm done venting for the year now.

The delicate issue of being asked to "save" the two seats of people who have been waiting next to you in a packed airport waiting area. They leave a probably empty brown paper bag in the middle of their 2 seats, saying, Watch our seats...? And then in the next 15 minutes, they don't return, in this standing-room-only lounge, hawks are milling around wanting to sit down, you're supposed to be "watching" those seats. Finally this middle-age lady sits down, you say, "Someone is sitting there" -- she snaps at you, "I can get up in a second when they return!" Brother, now you feel attacked, youre just explaining the burden you were placed under, and you show your exasperation, then the middle age lady says, "This is a packed room, those seats have been empty 15 minutes!" Ok, lady... fine. [I was the middle aged lady in this exchange.]

I am surprised this has not yet been mentioned. A shopper pull up in line at the register at the grocery store. Then leave the cart in the line and run around shopping for more items. If in front of me, I move it out of the way and don't feel the least guilty about it.
I also get upset by the gum chewing, chatting cashiers that pay no attention to how they bag my groceries. No, I don't want to come home with crushed tomatoes or broken eggs, just because you had to place 5 lbs. potatoes and a gallon of milk on top of them. Please pay attention to what you are doing.

as mentioned above, I hate hearing "jew-luh-ree" (jewel-ry); but also, "real-lit-tor" (re-al-tor);
and please, don't ever make me hear this phrase again:
"it is what it is"
AAAAAAHHHHHHH my ears!!!! the most meaningless, over-used, p.o.c. ever uttered!

I hate "It's neither here nor there"

Happy Belated Festivus!

Seriously people - complaining about smokers who blow smoke out their own car windows?????? You better stop leaving your house if something like that gets to you. I do agree, however, that smokers need to move away from doorways. We have a designated smoking area at work, under a roof to protect from the weather, yet half the time the smokers stand outside the door so you have to walk through the haze to get in. Oh well.

Bicyclists need to follow the rules of the road... Generally they don't bug me, but there was the one time I put on my right blinker and began to turn into a parking spot only to have a bicyclist suddenly pass me on the right and give me an awful look when my car ALMOST clipped his back tire. Nearly gave me a heart attack!

Most of my grievances relate to riding the T:

People at a station who try to add value to their Charlie Card on the bus.

People who refuse to move back.

People who scream into their cell phone. Non-English speakers tend to be the loudest.

People who play music on their cell phobes. I don't care if TI has a new single, I don't want to hear it.

People who use speakerphone.

Riders who refuse to fold their strollers, epecially if the stroller is empty or full of shopping bags. Transit sytems in other cities require riders to fold their strollers. The T needs to bring that back.

Gum-crackers. Do they teach that in schools now?

People who stop dead in doorways or stairwells.

Way too much to read, so don't know if this has been posted:

1. When a pedestrian (ME!) is crossing at a crosswalk (single lane road) Car stops. You walk, only to see a car passing on the right, headed straight for you.
2. Airplane: When someone takes up a seat and a half, then whips out an entire pizza (I kid you not) and eats the whole thing! Then places the box under the seat next to your little dog in the crate! (has anyone noticed when you walk down the aisle now to go to the bathroom, everyone's butt is hanging off the seats?)

I know I'm too late for Festivus but I was reminded of this one only yesterday: I live in Britain and my top grievance has to be being called "Love" or "Darling" or "Honey" by total strangers (in this case, the checkout guy at a supermarket). If you don't know my name, you don't have to call me anything! Ugh. (It really only sounds okay if the person addressing you is - and appears to be - over the age of 75...). To his credit, though, the guy was polite and helpful and smiled throughout the transaction.

People who can not get off their cell phone and talk loudly in a public place, store, TRAIN RIDE etc. I often wonder..if so mnay people are disturbed by this, why are so many people still doing it? People who bring their cell phone to the dinner table with the intent to answer it. (emergencies, illness in family or a separate issue, even then, vibrate could be used.) Then LEAVE THE TABLE while you deal with the call.

Bicyclists without night lights. Do they (and I AM a bicyclist as well) not realize how terrifying it is to almost hit a bicyclist while driving? Bicyclists who ride in this awful weather and don't realize that they may not be able to control their bicycle on ice, and that we may not be able to controlour car so well on ice.

Bicyclists who ride on the sidewalk. Not all pedestrians can leap out of your way with agility, and we can't all hear you coming, either.

Restaurants: the question..."Are you still working on it?" and again that question, "Do you need change?"

Here's an "invisible peeve": Because of arthritis, etc., sometimes I am slow or use handicapped facilities and I look very healthy, like I would not have a problem. Please don't give me dirty looks when I walk slowly across a street, etc. or if I use a handicapped facility.

People making incredibly rude comments and cursing, hiding behind the anonymity of email.