Stunt casting

I've managed to do, either for love or money, an awful lot of the jobs I've wanted to do in my life: comedian, professor, advice columnist (yes, I had ambitions for that long before I became Miss Conduct!). One job I've always wanted, though, is to be a casting director. I can happily play "who should be in the movie version of this book" or "who would you like to see in this play" for hours with theater-minded friends.

I'm particularly interested in stunt casting. Stunt casting usually refers to casting a famous actor, or celebrity, in an unexpected role. I've also heard it used to refer to casting someone radically against type.

So ... here are some stunt casts I'd like to see--and I'd love to hear your ideas, too!

Bill Clinton as Billy Flynn in "Chicago." Mr. Clinton--saxophone and all--would be a natural as the opportunistic Chicago defense lawyer whose clientele is exclusively female. He probably can't sing, but neither can Richard Gere, and it didn't hurt the movie any. Besides, how awesome would these lyrics be:

"Show me long raven hair
Flowing down 'bout to there--
When I see her runnin' free,
Keep your money,
That's enough for me!

I don't care for driving Packard cars
Or smoking long buck cigars
No, no, not me!
All I care about is doing the guy in
Who's picking on you--
Twisting the wrist that's turning the screw.
All I care about iiii-iiis love!"

... sung by Mr. Clinton? Billy has to have a particular brand of cynicism, idealism, likability, and a way with the ladies. I think Mr. Clinton could bring a lot to the part.

Oprah Winfrey as the Stage Manager in "Our Town." This isn't exactly casting against type, as the Stage Manager is wise, loving, world-weary, and vaguely godlike. It's only the fact that the role is written for a white man that makes it in any way "stunt." But there's no reason that the show couldn't be taken out of a literal New England town and cast colorblind (especially since most actors mangle a New England accent horribly, anyway). Grover's Corners could just as well be a state of mind.

An even better role for Ms. Winfrey--which I'm sure she'd never consider--would be Annie Wilkes, the homicidal nurse in "Misery," played onscreen by Kathy Bates. Ms. Winfrey is a physically strong and powerful-looking woman, with a sort of "I will nurture you whether you like it or not" vibe, and watching her access her dark side would be both amusing and terrifying. Of course no author would ever agree to be an Oprah's Book Club selection after that.

Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow as Benedick and Beatrice in "Much Ado About Nothing." They've got the snarky wit and rapid-fire patter down to a T, and their physical resemblance adds an extra frisson. It's not the first time Benedick has been assayed by a pundit--Andrew Sullivan played the role in 2002. Of course, Mr. Sullivan can act, apparently, and I doubt Mr. Stewart or Ms. Maddow can. But that's a problem for the director, not the casting director.

Tina Turner as Judas in "Jesus Christ Superstar." Does this even need explanation? From that opening wail of "Jesuuuuuuuuuuus" to the disco finale "Jesus Christ Superstar," Ms. Turner could rock this role like no one's business. The only problem might be getting a Jesus who could match her--Judas is the psychologically richer role, but Jesus has to have more charisma or else it doesn't work. I can't think of anyone who could take her on ... maybe you can.

Jason Schwartzman as Stanley Kowalski in "Streetcar Named Desire." Sure, he looks more like Woody Allen than Marlon Brando. So what? I've always wondered what it would do for the play if Stanley were played by a smaller man, driven with nervous energy--a terrier, not a Rottweiler. Something other than a caveman: a man repressing intellectual energy, who is threatened by Blanche precisely because he is attracted to the more refined vision of life that she holds forth. A man whose violence stems not from uncontrolled masculinity but from the fear that he fails to live up to his own ideal of masculinity. Which would, of course, be a much, much more dangerous sort of man.

Your turn, dear readers: whom would you like to see in what role?