Facebook dissenter

A thought-provoking letter from a reader:

Being 35 and a mom of one (with one one the way), I fall perfectly into the new Facebook demographic. So it's no surprise that all of my friends (and their friends and so on) are on that ubiquitous site. After being hounded for many moons to join, I finally gave it a shot. Well, that lasted about three weeks.

Yes, I created a profile full of quirky personal info, funny videos, and many photos of my kid (and my pre-kid travels and adventures). I even did that "25 Random Things" thingy. And all seemed right with the world. I was on the grid, along with my ever-expanding circle of friends from the past.

But I quickly found Facebook to be completely...mundane...useless...and a total time suck. I was ashamed at my unbridled urge to check status updates throughout the day. And I was further ashamed at the banality of said updates. In the end I simply couldn't justify staring at a computer screen to read about how my 10th-grade biology partner was now "doing laundry" or how that popular cheerleader from senior year is "bored and baking cookies" with her three kids. No, I thought. This is not what life is about.

So I -- gasp! -- permanently deleted my Facebook account. Well, first I deleted all the content therein. THEN I deleted the account for good. Because I knew it was for my own good.

And here's the rub: All of those friends I acquired are now wondering where I went and why. When I happen to run into some of them and they ask, I don't know what to say:

"Because Facebook is an excuse to hole up and be slovenly voyeuristic?"

"It's the end of civilized human interaction as we know it and I just can't support that?" "Because...let's face it: we all have better things we could do with our time?"

No. These reasons simply would not do. After all, I don't want to offend their choices yet I still want to support mine.

I'd really like to use the excuse my sister-in-law and dear friend (who is not on Facebook, btw) uses: "I think we're all a little 'long in the tooth' to be on Facebook." Though, according to that Time magazine article you posted, we aren't!

I don't know. I just can't support it. It makes me sad to think of all the hours everyone's wasting. Granted, this wasted time is usually spent at night, on the couch, after we've put the kids to bed or something of that nature. But, personally, that's when I could be reading a book...learning to cook a new recipe...going for a walk...or simply just being. You'd think my (our?) generation would support that. After all, we're the ones who grew up without the Internet. Without 800 cable channels. And Wii. And Blackberries. And all that noise that removes us from real life and real interaction. Sigh. I guess the lure is just too strong for most.

Well, I for one am bucking this trend. And I'm curious to get your take on it. What do I say when people ask why I fell off the cyber-stalking bandwagon? I know...I know...I could simply say, "It's just not for me." But that belies the real reason and doesn't give credence to my true feelings.

So...after all that back story...do tell me your thoughts, Miss Conduct. I know you probably think it's a valuable networking tool and whatnot. But as an advice and etiquette guru, don't you think -- even just a wee bit -- that Facebook is further isolating us as a culture and a generation? Certainly you can't support that?

Tell me my lament is not in vain!

My response to come shortly.