Facebook: a response, part III
A final response to the Facebook Dissenter, who wrote:
It makes me sad to think of all the hours everyone's wasting. Granted, this wasted time is usually spent at night, on the couch, after we've put the kids to bed or something of that nature. But, personally, that's when I could be reading a book...learning to cook a new recipe...going for a walk...or simply just being. You'd think my (our?) generation would support that. After all, we're the ones who grew up without the Internet. Without 800 cable channels. And Wii. And Blackberries. And all that noise that removes us from real life and real interaction. Sigh. I guess the lure is just too strong for most.
This was the paragraph that really got my back up, and made me perceive her well-written letter as something to be argued against, and not merely appreciated as a different point of view. I'm no Facebook evangelist--not all communication technology works for all people, and any of it can be abused. I could write a similar screed against cell phones, which are certainly misused, and which I, personally, don't like. For me, phone conversation is the worst of both worlds: it lacks the fullness of talking face-to-face, but doesn't allow for the thoughtfulness that mail or e-mail correspondence does, or the wacky in-the-moment improvisation that Facebook or Twitter can facilitate. That's just my take, and your mileage may vary. I find it interesting to hear what communication technology works or doesn't for what people.
But when folks take it upon themselves to judge what is a waste of time for others, well, that makes me angry. Really, who are you to say that the time I spend on Facebook is "wasted"? Facebook got me a loaner cell phone when I needed one (oh, the irony). It's enabled me to keep up on the birth of my new great-niece, and the release of Kate Harding's book, in real time. It brought a tear to my eye the day of my "Today Show" appearance when I logged on and found my home page entirely filled with my friends' updates that their friend Robin was going to be on "Kathie Lee & Hoda," so watch her! It's created more communication between me and my maternal cousins in the past few months than we have had in our entire lives. It's helped deepen my relationships with synagogue folks, whom I don't have to ask, "So how was your week?" at shul anymore--I know, and can jump right into conversation and offer condolences or congratulations or advice or admiration as the situation demands. It's a place where when I need a hug, I can post "I need a hug" and get love and validation from whoever happens to be online.
An escape from "real life and real interaction"? A waste of time? Speak for yourself.
The author is solely responsible for the content.
Welcome to Miss Conduct’s blog, a place where the popular Boston Globe Magazine columnist Robin Abrahams and her readers share etiquette tips, unravel social conundrums, and gossip about social behavior in pop culture and the news. Have a question of your own? Ask Robin using this form or by emailing her at missconduct@globe.com.
Who is Miss Conduct?
Robin Abrahamswrites the weekly "Miss Conduct" column for The Boston Globe Magazine and is the author of Miss Conduct's Mind over Manners. Robin has a PhD in psychology from Boston University and also works as a research associate at Harvard Business School. Her column is informed by her experience as a theater publicist, organizational-change communications manager, editor, stand-up comedian, and professor of psychology and English. She lives in Cambridge with her husband Marc Abrahams, the founder of the Ig Nobel Prizes, and their socially challenged but charismatic dog, Milo.
