Monday question: Mom's on Facebook!
Today's question is a 21st-century classic:
Recently, I logged on to Facebook only to discover that my mother, who lives 3,000 miles away, decided to join the ranks and had friend requested me. I accepted her request without much thought. Later, it dawned on me the ramifications of our newfound "connectedness." She has sent a friend request to my husband, who has halted all activity on FB so that he doesn't have to respond to her request. My dear mother has also "friended" some of my friends. I am uncomfortable that she can now peek into my private social life and eavesdrop on all my conversations. I don't have anything to hide, but I want to be myself on FB and certainly don't want to have to explain my inside jokes to my mother the next time we speak on the phone. My question is, how can I break it to my mom that I still love her, but I want to have a life without having her looking over my shoulder?
What's your advice? And are you "friends" with your parents or children on FB? How's that working out for you? The ConductMom and I are FB friends, although she doesn't go on it very much, and never nags me about "who's so-and-so" or asks me to explain jokes or references she doesn't get. Even so, I think I might have felt differently in my 20s, had FB existed then, and wanted to keep my personal life a bit more private.
You?
ALSO: I only Facebook-friend people I know in real life. I will get an FB fan page up real soon, I promise, for my readers. If you'd like to follow me on Twitter, I'm robinabrahams. You know, like my name.
UPDATE: I now have an FB fan page! (I also have a comment thread on my personal FB page about my fan page, and the notion of "Miss Conduct" slash fan fiction, that is so racy I might have to delete it before the ConductMom decides to make one of her rare FB appeareances. Thanks, "friends.") It's minimal at present, but you can "fan" me and start your own discussions on the page.
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Welcome to Miss Conduct’s blog, a place where the popular Boston Globe Magazine columnist Robin Abrahams and her readers share etiquette tips, unravel social conundrums, and gossip about social behavior in pop culture and the news. Have a question of your own? Ask Robin using this form or by emailing her at missconduct@globe.com.
Who is Miss Conduct?
Robin Abrahamswrites the weekly "Miss Conduct" column for The Boston Globe Magazine and is the author of Miss Conduct's Mind over Manners. Robin has a PhD in psychology from Boston University and also works as a research associate at Harvard Business School. Her column is informed by her experience as a theater publicist, organizational-change communications manager, editor, stand-up comedian, and professor of psychology and English. She lives in Cambridge with her husband Marc Abrahams, the founder of the Ig Nobel Prizes, and their socially challenged but charismatic dog, Milo.
