Monday question: Loud kids

Earplugs?

Sorry to trouble you, but the Clerihew voting link is a dead end...

By all means, LW should approach the parent(s) about their kids noise. She should politely ask if the kids can tone it down so that she can entertain or watch television. This is a reasonable request that the neighbors should accept and be willing to accomodate.

Perhaps see if there's a time of day to establish as "quiet time" and if that doesn't work.....window fans, they work wonders in drowning out the outside noises and enhancing circulation...

I'm afraid there's not much you can do about this situation, except either move, or invest in good windows and an air conditioning unit. The kids are doing what kids do, in their own backyard. We live in a society with rampant obesity because too many kids stay indoors watching endless t.v. Sure, that keeps them quiet, but it's not healthy.

I think your only recourse is if the children are being too loud indoors, and after certain hours or too early in the morning. Then your request would be reasonable. We live in a similar situation, with young kids above us and young kids next door. This is what you get when you live in an urban highly condensed area. I have learned to tune it out. The kids are very sweet, for the most part. I only intervene when they are doing something unsafe, like sledding down into the street, or shooting bee-bee guns at our windows!

I don't mind the kids' voices anywhere near as much as I did the previous neighbor's dog that was tied up outside all day long and barked and barked and barked..... ugh! Or the neighbors who argued non-stop at all hours of the night.

Loud outdoor noises cut both ways, unfortunately. I have two toddlers and (now that it has finally stopped raining) they love to play outside. Sometimes there is most definitely shrieking involved. And while I try to avoid excess, there has to be a time and a place when kids are allowed to run around and be at least a little loud. And outside, mid-day, is probably that time.
On the other hand, I find myself fuming when neighbors leave their dogs out to bark or people engage in loud construction or demolition right smack in the middle of my kids' cherished nap time. Does it bother me? Yup. But truthfully, it's the middle of the day. Can I really fault someone for making noise? I don't think so.

So until I move out to the country and have acres between myself and other neighbors, there's some degree to which we just have to accept the fact that other people's noises are inconvenient for us.

I favor tranquilizer darts.

Unfortunately, since they are playing outside, you're pretty much doomed. They have every right to scream in their play. Two possible solutions come from some anecdotes I've heard. One is to ask the kids to scream as loud as they can, and wear out their throats for a bit. The other is to pay them to scream, say a quarter, then reduce it, until a penny is all you can justify. Then they might stop because it's not 'worth it'.

I do sympathize. My neighbor has four weiner dogs that bark any time I'm outside, or anytime the wind blows, and it does get annoying. At my old apartment, the kids ran around screaming like hooligans. But it won't stop because it's 'outdoors'.

Now, if someone can tell me a good way of dealing with children running around a restaurant screaming, while the parents look on with little smiles...

Well there are so many variables such as (1) does the LW work from home? (2) at what hours and days are the kids "screaming at the top of their lungs"? (3) is the LW renting or do they own? (4)They say their apartment has a shared driveway so are we to assume that this is an apartment in a multi family house next to potentially another multi or just a single family?

(1) working from home....I think the LW can approach the parents and ask and let them know it is because s/he does work from home and it is hard to concentrate. But I wouldn't be surprised if s/he has to suck it up, one of the trade offs for working at home is the potential for a less controlled office in terms of volume but it may afford you other benefits of being less controlled only the LW can tell if the trade offs are worth it.

(2) If the kids are excessively loud on Saturday and Sunday say before 8 AM then again I think the LW can approach the parents and ask them if it is possible to keep them indoors a little bit longer. Or s/he could see if there is a noise ordinance in their town if s/he was really put out but that is very petty and I would not recommend it, because honestly I think it would make matters worse.

(3) If the LW owns put up a fence as best as s/he can there may be a way to fence off some of the backyard even if not the driveway if it is shared. If the LW rents s/he should inquire with the landlord to see if anything can be done.

(4) This is just to get an idea of how densely populated the neighborhood is. Maybe the kids can go play with a neighbor down the street for part of the day?

I find it very hard to believe that the LW cannot entertain in the backyard, I know kids can be loud but seriously have your BBQ and turn up your music and have a good time. I am sure that people will be able to tune the kids out. As for the TV watching, it sucks maybe get a window AC unit so you can watch TV in peace. Overall I would rather hear kids outside screaming and carrying on like kids rather than other urban sounds and I really think the LW is being a bit of a crotchety person and needs to learn the fine art of selectively tuning things out.

I would appraoch the parents and frame the request around the screaming- not the playing or that they're so close to your home. Let the parents know it's distressing to hear the children screaming, as you feel it's like the boy who cried wolf- you're so used to their screaming that if something was actually wrong you wouldn't know to call 911.
This was the reason my brother and I were told to keep it down when we were kids, don't scream unless there's something to scream about, then people know when to listen and when we're just playing.

I have to disagree with the assumption that LW has any right to ask the kids to quiet down. They're outside, playing in their own yard. If you want your windows open, you have to accept outside, daytime noise. Otherwise, get some fans or a window air conditioner. (On a hot summer day, you're generally better off closing the windows, drawing shades to keep out the sun, and using fans anyhow; open them in the evening once it cools down outside -- and once the kids are headed towards bedtime.)

The LW needs to get over it. It's summer and they've been cooped up all winter. Never mind the disgusting month of June. Think back to summers when you were a kid.
If you have company that's one thing to kindly suggest to the parents to ask the children to keep it down for a while. If these parents kept the kids in the house all the time we'd have people ranting how kids never play outside. Maybe you should also invest in a small air conditioner for your window if you so badly need to drown out the noise.
I don't mean to come off as rude but lets face reality here. I'm not sure what you were expecting asking 3 young children playing outside to settle down. They're outside to yell and play...that's what kids do. Inside is for "settling down" If it's that much of a problem to you then you should speak to the parents but I'm not sure you're really going to get the results you're looking for.
My next guess is you do not have small children.

Poor LW. At one point in the past, I lived in an apartment building with a daycare on one side, a playground on another, and a school recess yard on the third. I wished that all children were taught the difference between a shriek of happiness and the death howl of someone greviously injured and/or threatened.

I admit that I give the following advice knowing full well that I would likely silently seethe and suck up the discomfort rather than have this confrontation.

Someone who would prefer to be happy might consider speaking with the parents, but first try to come up with something concrete that you wish would happen. Would you prefer a lower volume overall, no screaming unless something is actually wrong, quiet hours, the parentally-recognized right to tell the kids to simmer down when the volume goes up too far? You're right that kids have the right to play outside in their backyard. You also have a right to a measure of peace in your own home. Try to figure out what would strike the balance between the two, and offer some suggestions to the parents. If you present this as an issue in which compromise can be successfully achieved, hopefully the parents will be receptive. Best of luck.

This is such a sticky situation because you don't want to seem like a nag. I can totally relate...

My husband and I live in a townhouse complex and there are some units that have young children. We do not have a play area on site, so the children like to ride their bikes and play in the narrow parking lot. The problem is, it is difficult to see them playing and riding when I am backing out of my garage.
I want to say something to the parents, but the last neighbors (no kids) who said something got in an arguement with the parents and ended up moving out due to bad blood.

We don't have children, but I love kids. I am just afraid that I am going to hit one of the kids coming out of my garage. It is more of a safety issue than anything else. I don't want to start another neighbor battle, but it will be my problem if someone gets hit by my car.

oh my.
i think its called living in a neighborhood and you just have to get over it.
sorry but you sort of sound like a crank.

honestly - i doubt those kids are out there every single day from sun up to sun down. i'm sure there are down times.

there really isnt anything you can do unless its before 7am and after 10pm then its disturbing the peace.

lms: I might be assuming too much, but I live in a townhouse complex of sorts. AKA condos. We have an association with all sorts of rules, one being NO KIDS PLAYING IN OR AROUND CARS. I'm sure if you frame it as a safety issue, then the parents will be more amenable. "Mr/Ms. so and so, while I'm glad your kids are running around being kids, I am concerned I cannot see them while backing out of the garage and I do not want to harm one of them" is much more polite and civil than say "get your unruly kids out of my driveway." Based on the kids in this complex, I've come to the conclusion that kids are absolutely oblivious to the movement of cars (either by genetics or parenting or that part of the brain doesn't work yet)

Have to agree with some previous comments. Kids are loud! A window unit. some swivel fans, or AC seems like a far more productive investment than nagging the parents (could be seen as hostile, or may not make any difference) or the kids (won't make a lick of difference). Aside from quiet hours, it doesn't seem unreasonable that the kids will be out there being noisy.

@lms: you could back into your driveway when returning home. Then, when you are leaving, you are seeing everything in front of you.

Our next door neighbors have 4 kids, and they play outside all evening. Lots of shouting and screaming. I mind only when it's after my kids bedtime, and they are still out there. They aren't in camp for the summer, so they don't have a particular bedtime, and my kids are jealous of them. But, honestly, I don't really think there is anything to be done about it. Yelling at people just makes them mad, be it children or their parents.

I do like the suggestion bluemoose had, to come up with a concrete thing you want to change. It won't make people more receptive if you say, "You're kids are annoying me, please ask them to stop." That's way too nebulous...

Veronica: There is an association and there are rules about playing in the parking lot, but no one on the condo board ever does anything about it. I don't feel comfortable speaking to the parents given the history of the last person who said something.

Maya: There is no driveway for each unit. The garages are under our units, so when I am pulling out, I am pulling out into the same driveway that the kids are playing in. Even if I back in when I return home, I can't easily see side to side when I am pulling out of the garage.

I guess I feel bad for LW because the parents should have the intelligence enough to notice when their kids are getting so loud it is disturbing others...

I like the tranquilizer darts idea! Classic.

Okay, I'm just going to say it: There's no need for kids to be "screaming at the top of their lungs" when they're outside playing, no matter what time of the day it is. Unless the parents have installed a Dueling Dragons rollercoaster in their backyard, this type of shrieking is completely unnecessary. Yes, kids can have fun and yell and shout (mid-day, of course), but I draw the line at screaming.

Case in point:
On a recent trip to Disney, there was one kid screaming in the pool. Being closest to him, I saw that he was screaming "Help! I can't swim!!" I got into the pool and dragged him to the side, where he proceeded to do that throaty, I've-swallowed-a-lot-of-water cough. Of course Mom was nowhere to be found.

When the other parents realized what was going on, they all said, "Oh, I just thought he was yelling for the fun of it." Uh-huh. This is exactly why we as parents (and neighbors) should discourage screaming during play (and I want to distinguish here between screaming and run-of-the-mill hullaballoo).

It's the old "crying wolf" scenario. If parents and neighbors become desensitized to the screaming of their little darlings, then how in the hell will we be able to tell when something is really wrong? Think about it.

Plus, it's just unnecessary. And it teaches kids to think that they can behave as outrageously as they want, whenever they want. And we know what kind of adults that turns them into -- the ones we comment about in this very thread!

I know. I'm a big meanie. But just because they're kids doesn't mean they can terrorize the neighborhood with foolish screaming.

If it is bothering you so much that you simply cannot abide it, I think you're either going to need to sound-proof your apartment or move out.

If it's a safety issue, that's different. But it doesn't sound like that.

If it's very late at night, you could always call the police. That may seem extreme, but is better in some situations than confronting the parent and risking bad blood. Police calls like that can be anonymous (I know - I used to do it when I had an unruly neighbor).

I used to live in a Mayberry but quieter town, catty corner the ballfield and about a block from the elementary school and oddly enough that didn't bother me one bit,, what does bother me though to the point that a demure little lady like myself has been driven to the point of loading the dogs up in the car and biting my lip to keep from yelling things like STFU!!!! is the new family that is renting the townhouse across the street it's the only rental on our street. The one little boy throws fits all day,, I mean the kid screams for hours,,not joyous kids playing noise but screaming fits,, at first I thought they were beating the dear boy til I realized he throws fits , if it's not him throwing a fit for hours literally on end, it's a young female yelling at a girl named Ella or the young man playing his radio loud , I've never complained about anyone in my life but it IS excessive and we have an ordinance for excessive noise and I'm damn close to calling them on it. Neighbors like that drive property values down for the whole neighborhood and like I said I live near the school and ball field so this isn't normal children at play noise that usually fills our days and early evenings.