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Monday question: First-naming grownups
Here's a good one:
I am a parent of two toddlers and have come across a quandary that seems to be generational. When I was growing up, I always (and still do, in many cases) referred to my friend's parents and other grown ups in my life as Mr. or Mrs. so and so. The titles "Aunt" and "Uncle" always preceded their first names. Today, my children call most of my friends and the other grown ups in their life -- teachers, clergy, neighbors-- by their first names, and this seems to be universal. However, I still feel weird about this sometimes. I personally like being referred to by my first name by pretty much everyone. But, I want my children to be respectful and recognize that not everyone may be OK with that. So, if I am introduced to an adult via their first name, especially someone my parent's age, should I instruct my children to refer to them by their formal name (assuming I even know it...)? Should I ask the person what they prefer if we are going to be interacting with them in the future (ie: we'll see them beyond the first meeting)? Or have we crossed into some age of informality where everyone is just on a first name basis most of the time.
What do you think? And, if you've lived in other parts of the country, do you think there is a geographic difference as well as a generational one?
As usual, I'll post my response to your comments next week (new questions run here on Monday and Thursday; responses go up Tuesday/Wednesday and Friday). If you want more to read in the meantime, check out my other blog here.)
The author is solely responsible for the content.
About Miss Conduct
Welcome to Miss Conduct’s blog, a place where the popular Boston Globe Magazine columnist Robin Abrahams and her readers share etiquette tips, unravel social conundrums, and gossip about social behavior in pop culture and the news. Have a question of your own? Ask Robin using this form or by emailing her at missconduct@globe.com.
Welcome to Miss Conduct’s blog, a place where the popular Boston Globe Magazine columnist Robin Abrahams and her readers share etiquette tips, unravel social conundrums, and gossip about social behavior in pop culture and the news. Have a question of your own? Ask Robin using this form or by emailing her at missconduct@globe.com.
contributor
Robin Abrahamswrites the weekly "Miss Conduct" column for The Boston Globe Magazine and is the author of Miss Conduct's Mind over Manners. Robin has a PhD in psychology from Boston University and also works as a research associate at Harvard Business School. Her column is informed by her experience as a theater publicist, organizational-change communications manager, editor, stand-up comedian, and professor of psychology and English. She lives in Cambridge with her husband Marc Abrahams, the founder of the Ig Nobel Prizes, and their socially challenged but charismatic dog, Milo.
Who is Miss Conduct?
Robin Abrahamswrites the weekly "Miss Conduct" column for The Boston Globe Magazine and is the author of Miss Conduct's Mind over Manners. Robin has a PhD in psychology from Boston University and also works as a research associate at Harvard Business School. Her column is informed by her experience as a theater publicist, organizational-change communications manager, editor, stand-up comedian, and professor of psychology and English. She lives in Cambridge with her husband Marc Abrahams, the founder of the Ig Nobel Prizes, and their socially challenged but charismatic dog, Milo.
