Response to "Put a leash on it!"

Way back in the mists of time we addressed a question from an LW who was troubled by a man in her neighborhood who walks his dog off-leash and doesn't pick up after it. Everyone agreed that the neighbor was in the wrong, but as JustQ pointed out, dog etiquette can be confusing:

I am new to dog ownership, and am constantly flummoxed by what correct dog etiquette is in certain situations. Can I leave the little woofer in my car while I run into the bank, or will someone call the cops and report it as abuse? Why did I leave my dog in the car, when that lady with the poodle just walked right into the bank with it?

Most humans are terrible at taking constructive criticism from strangers, but at the same time, most of us don't go out of our way to be jerks, and could use a gentle nudge back to the correct path.

If it was only an issue of this guy walking the dogs off leash, you could go up to him, pat the dog, ask his name, etc, then casually mention that your friend's brother's cousin just got a HUGE ticket from a beat cop for walking her dog off-leash and maybe he ought to be careful - you know those cops... Make yourself a co-conspirator instead of an accuser.

Your best bet is to talk to him the way JusQ suggested, as a fellow dog lover. You might even get some information you didn't anticipate. I once was approached by someone concerned that I was walking my dog off leash, and I was able to show her that my dog had a remote collar (approved by the park rangers) and was indeed under control. And I learned that my effort to disguise the collar was a bad idea; when people could see the collar, it reassured them that the dog was under control.

If there's a good community of dog owners, applying some peer pressure might be in order. JP Gal had a good story about that:

Our dog plays with a group where the humans are extremely protective of the access we have to a beautiful public park and not only clean up after their own dogs, but also clean up stray poop less considerate owners left behind, as well as trash, bottles, broken glass, etc. Once a stranger (to us) and his dog walked by and after the dog did its business, the fellow started to stroll off, leaving the business behind. One of our group called after him in a cheery voice, "Hey, did you forget a bag? I have one!", gently waving a plastic bag in her hand. She jogged over, gave it to him, and he picked up the poop.

It might have worked because her dog was much larger than his dog, or he was outnumbered by our group, or he genuinely did forget a bag and was grateful for the help. But it worked nonetheless, and I thought it was pretty classy.

In this case, there were a lot of other folks there to enforce the group norm, but I bet the neighbor in the original letter would still rethink his ways if he were approached by more than one other person.

Rog thought that tact in this case was uncalled for:

This guy needs to hear statements such as "I don't feel safe", "I don't like picking up other people's dog poop", or "This behavior is illegal". Again, no justifications are necessary. He's in the wrong, the LW is in the right. The pleasantries and hints suggested by others are well meant, but aren't going to acted on by someone who is OK with leaving feces in his wake for others to clean up. Sometimes the most civil and polite course of action is to state needs, expectations, and consequences clearly and plainly with no chance of misunderstanding.

I'm a huge fan of "stating needs, expectations, and consequences clearly and plainly with no chance of misunderstanding," and tend to recommend it a lot, but what interests me is Rog's assumption that anyone who would fail to clean up after his dog is some kind of sociopath immune to normal reasoning and social influence, or at least might be. I wouldn't leap to that assumption about a negligent dog owner--although I do leap to it, enthusiastically, in the case of people who smoke where there are clear "no smoking" signs. Everyone's trigger gets tripped differently ...