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Monday question: "Girls" or "Spouses"?

Posted by Robin Abrahams  January 24, 2011 05:42 AM

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Here's a tricky one! 

This is a follow-up to your column regarding the spouse and "girls weekend". What if the spouse is the same-sex as the girls/guys? 

I have a group of very close friends, there are 4 of us (women); one of them is a lesbian and is married. Her spouse is always attending "girls" nights out, excursions, etc.; while our male partners/spouses/etc are not invited. We have tried to explain that it really is a "no spouses" excursion, rather than "girls only", but she doesn't get it and gets offended when we ask that her wife not attend. 

Are we wrong to exclude the female spouse from our "girls" nights out, or weekends away? I think along the lines of "spouses inlcuded" or "spouses not included", rather than divide it up by gender. What do you all think, kindly readers? I'll post my response on Friday.
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About Miss Conduct
Welcome to Miss Conduct’s blog, a place where the popular Boston Globe Magazine columnist Robin Abrahams and her readers share etiquette tips, unravel social conundrums, and gossip about social behavior in pop culture and the news. Have a question of your own? Ask Robin using this form or by emailing her at missconduct@globe.com.
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Robin Abrahamswrites the weekly "Miss Conduct" column for The Boston Globe Magazine and is the author of Miss Conduct's Mind over Manners. Robin has a PhD in psychology from Boston University and also works as a research associate at Harvard Business School. Her column is informed by her experience as a theater publicist, organizational-change communications manager, editor, stand-up comedian, and professor of psychology and English. She lives in Cambridge with her husband Marc Abrahams, the founder of the Ig Nobel Prizes, and their socially challenged but charismatic dog, Milo.

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