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Posted by Robin Abrahams  November 13, 2011 10:26 AM

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... is online here

And here's a free sample for you. This comes from my answer to an LW whose husband insists on putting his name last on their family Christmas cards (after the children) because "a gentleman always goes last."

Sometimes well-meaning people grab hold of a basic principle and overapply it like mad, like when little kids realize how verbs are conjugated and start saying things like "He goed" and "I comed." This is what has happened to your husband. If he wants to practice gendered etiquette, the rule isn't that gentlemen go last under all circumstances; it's that the lady is given the place of privilege and security. With correspondence, the man's name traditionally goes first in a heterosexual couple, as in Mr. and Mrs. Strawperson, as Mr. Strawperson is the protector of his delicate bride. Gentlemen also go first when doing so provides the greatest ease and safety for the lady, for example, in preceding her up a ladder or down a busy thoroughfare.
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About Miss Conduct
Welcome to Miss Conduct’s blog, a place where the popular Boston Globe Magazine columnist Robin Abrahams and her readers share etiquette tips, unravel social conundrums, and gossip about social behavior in pop culture and the news. Have a question of your own? Ask Robin using this form or by emailing her at missconduct@globe.com.
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Who is Miss Conduct?

Robin Abrahamswrites the weekly "Miss Conduct" column for The Boston Globe Magazine and is the author of Miss Conduct's Mind over Manners. Robin has a PhD in psychology from Boston University and also works as a research associate at Harvard Business School. Her column is informed by her experience as a theater publicist, organizational-change communications manager, editor, stand-up comedian, and professor of psychology and English. She lives in Cambridge with her husband Marc Abrahams, the founder of the Ig Nobel Prizes, and their socially challenged but charismatic dog, Milo.

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