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Monday question: Revoking an invitation

Posted by Robin Abrahams  May 21, 2012 08:40 AM

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Here's an awkward question: 

Back in November, I sent save the date cards for my wedding this July to the seven members of my graduate school cohort. I am closer to some of my classmates than I am to others, but I invited everyone because it is a small group and I did not want to exclude anyone. Since then, one of my classmates has experienced significant mental health problems and has taken a leave of absence from the program. I was not close to this student before this happened, and now, we have not spoken in several months. I do not want to be stigmatizing or insensitive, especially in light of the mental health issue, but I am wondering if it would be acceptable not to send this person a formal wedding invitation. I am mainly concerned about how this person might present at the wedding, including how this person might behave toward the other cohort members. What should I do?

What do you think, dear readers? I'll post my advice on Friday. (If this reminds you of a burning question of your own, send it in to Miss Conduct! But if it burns every time you have a question, see your doctor.)
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About Miss Conduct
Welcome to Miss Conduct’s blog, a place where the popular Boston Globe Magazine columnist Robin Abrahams and her readers share etiquette tips, unravel social conundrums, and gossip about social behavior in pop culture and the news. Have a question of your own? Ask Robin using this form or by emailing her at missconduct@globe.com.
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Who is Miss Conduct?

Robin Abrahamswrites the weekly "Miss Conduct" column for The Boston Globe Magazine and is the author of Miss Conduct's Mind over Manners. Robin has a PhD in psychology from Boston University and also works as a research associate at Harvard Business School. Her column is informed by her experience as a theater publicist, organizational-change communications manager, editor, stand-up comedian, and professor of psychology and English. She lives in Cambridge with her husband Marc Abrahams, the founder of the Ig Nobel Prizes, and their socially challenged but charismatic dog, Milo.

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Curious if you should say "bless you" to a sneezing atheist? How to host a dinner party for carbophobes, vegans, and Atkins disciples—all at the same time? The finer points of regifting? Ask it here, or email missconduct@globe.com.

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