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Posted by Robin Abrahams  October 27, 2013 11:31 AM

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... is online here. This one amused me because the first question was from a woman whose best friend "eloped when she was young and has mentioned more than once that she regrets not having had a wedding" and as a result is planning a full-veil White Wedding vow-renewal ceremony for her 35th anniversary. Mr. Improbable and I have been conducting an informal experiment since we eloped almost 12 years ago, and noting people's reactions. Up until now, we've never gotten a negative reaction, or heard anyone who had also eloped regretting it. (The most common response is "I wish we'd done that!") But of course, it happens! The LW is horrified by her best friend's life-stage-inappropriate-plans and wants to know if she should say something. My advice:
 
I agree that your friend's idea sounds wildly silly and also uncomfortable for those children you mention--I can't imagine they're looking forward to the oh-so-Freudian sight of their mother dolled up as a blushing virgin bride. That said, we have the right to make fools of ourselves in this country, and many folk clearly believe it's downright patriotic to do so. Is your friend one of these kinds of people, all devil-may-care? Then let it go. On the other hand, if you think she might regret it later on--that's the kind of thing a best friend and matron of honor ought to say, isn't it? The point is, though, speak up or don't speak up based on how you think your friend feels about making social blunders. Not everyone cares as much as you and I do.
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About Miss Conduct
Welcome to Miss Conduct’s blog, a place where the popular Boston Globe Magazine columnist Robin Abrahams and her readers share etiquette tips, unravel social conundrums, and gossip about social behavior in pop culture and the news. Have a question of your own? Ask Robin using this form or by emailing her at missconduct@globe.com.
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Who is Miss Conduct?

Robin Abrahamswrites the weekly "Miss Conduct" column for The Boston Globe Magazine and is the author of Miss Conduct's Mind over Manners. Robin has a PhD in psychology from Boston University and also works as a research associate at Harvard Business School. Her column is informed by her experience as a theater publicist, organizational-change communications manager, editor, stand-up comedian, and professor of psychology and English. She lives in Cambridge with her husband Marc Abrahams, the founder of the Ig Nobel Prizes, and their socially challenged but charismatic dog, Milo.

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