Rabbi David Jacobs, served Quincy synagogue 51 years

Rabbi David Jacobs with his wife, Zipporah, and grandchildren Meggie and Ezra Wyschogrod at Ezra's bar mitzvah, June 31, 2006.

Riding the subway in New York City with his family, Rabbi David J. Jacobs was sandwiched between a well-dressed woman and a "truly scary looking guy" in dirty clothes and dreadlocks, his daughter recalled.

"Hey, who's your barber?" Rabbi Jacobs asked the man, drawing laughs from the woman in patent leather and horror from his daughter and wife across the car.

Soon the rabbi was chatting with both passengers. He discovered that they all grew up in Florida, and by the end of the ride, they bid "warm farewells to each other," said his daughter Rebecca.

Rabbi Jacobs, who served Temple Beth El in Quincy for 51 years, died Thursday of heart failure at Hebrew Rehabilitation Center in Roslindale. He was 81.

In 55 years as a Conservative rabbi, he connected easily with people from all backgrounds and faiths.

"He was so interested about people and where they came from and what their stories were," said Rebecca, who lives in Brookline.

He turned down offers to move to bigger synagogues and stayed with Temple Beth El as the congregation steadily shrank and other Quincy synagogues closed.

"The people here didn't want me to go," he told The Patriot Ledger in a recent interview. "Whatever I did for all those years, that's what I have to back me up now."

Rabbi Jacobs conducted his last Shabbat at the temple in May, when his health began to fail, his daughter said.

Born in Brooklyn and raised in Miami from age 7, Rabbi Jacobs was a freshman at the University of Florida when a rabbi at the school's Hillel Center suggested that he would make a good rabbi.

He transferred to New York University and began studying at the Jewish Theological Seminary. He was ordained in 1953.

He met his wife, Zipporah (Levy), when they both taught Hebrew school outside New York and took the same chauffeured car to school. They were married for 55 years.

Their three daughters learned Hebrew before English. "I remember my father reading 'Tom Sawyer' to us in Hebrew," Rebecca said.

After they married, Rabbi Jacobs and his wife went to Halifax, Nova Scotia, where Rabbi Jacobs founded Sha'ar Shalom in 1953 and stayed for four years.

"I remember him as being jovial, soft-spoken. I liked him very much," said Nancy Cieplinksy of Halifax, who met him as a child and stayed in close touch. "I felt very honored to have maintained a relationship with him."

The Canadian congregation sought out their founding rabbi's advice several times over the years, including his help in choosing art for the synagogue.

Beauty and meaning in temple decor were important to Rabbi Jacobs. At Temple Beth El, he tapped Lexington artist David Holleman to redesign the interior.

More than 20 years ago, Rabbi Jacobs also had Holleman design his gravestone. "He knew what he wanted," his daughter said.

Rabbi Jacobs helped create a new edition of the Conservative movement's Sim Shalom prayerbook in the 1970s. The Rabbinical Assembly's publications director, Rabbi Jules Harlow, said Rabbi Jacobs was devoted to balancing tradition with modern life.

"He constantly wanted to be sure that what we were producing would be understandable and helpful for the people in his congregation. This was his main focus: What good is the tradition if you can't transmit it?"

Rabbi Jacobs was also remembered for his ability to tolerate dissent. "He was a very open person with strong opinions, but when you had a disagreement, that did not get in the way of the relationship," Rabbi Harlow said. "He also had a great sense of humor, and that often helped in tight situations."

Malachi Jacobs of Brooklyn recalled his grandfather's ability to inspire others' intellectual curiosity. "He was a funny and cynical guy. He had a balanced view of things," he said.

In his last weeks, Rabbi Jacobs talked with his grandson about the nature of God.

"He thought it was silly that people were saying prayers for him," Malachi said. "Praying for things was not appealing to him. He believed creating his own relationship with Judaism was fulfilling enough."

Composer Delvyn Case of Quincy recalled Rabbi Jacobs's assistance when he sought to rework a notoriously anti-Semitic tale from the Middle Ages, "The Prioress's Tale," into a chamber opera for a performance at Eastern Nazarene College. Case turned the tale into a story of religious tolerance.

"From the get-go he was very encouraging," Case said. "He didn't know me at all. The fact that a man of his stature and erudition would be encouraging to a 31-year-old Christian who wants to make a difference was something. If he had said, 'No, kid. This is going to offend everybody.' I wouldn't have done it."

After the chamber opera premiered in January, Rabbi Jacobs sent him a congratulatory note, Case said.

In addition to his wife, daughter, and grandson, Rabbi Jacobs leaves two other daughters, Abigail Wyschogrod of Newton and Sarah of New York; a sister, Irene Baros of Aventura, Fla.; three other grandsons; and two granddaughters.

A funeral will be held today at 2 p.m. in Temple Beth El. Burial will be in Crawford Street Memorial Park in West Roxbury.