Timothy O'Connell, at 10; sports fan became inspiration

Timothy O'Connell helped his parents decide where to direct $58,000 in charitable funds raised on his behalf.

In the last year of his life, Timothy O'Connell became the youngest member of Holliston High School's varsity football team, which named him an honorary captain. And when treatment for acute myeloid leukemia kept him from walking onto the field with the other captains for the coin toss, he led his hometown team from afar.

"At first, we were doing it to lift his spirits and do what we could for the family, not realizing how much he was able to do for our team," said Todd Kiley, Holliston's varsity coach. "But because of the courage he was showing, we decided that when the going got tough, we would reach down for what we called 'Tim time.' When you think of all the things he had to go through, anything we had to do was minimal by comparison. So when we needed a little extra strength, we had 'Tim time.' "

Earlier this year, as treatments failed to slow the progression of his illness, Timothy helped his parents decide where to direct $58,000 in charitable funds raised on his behalf. He died in Children's Hospital Tuesday, two days after turning 10.

"They told us when we went home from the hospital in February that it would be anywhere from a few weeks to a few months," Kevin O'Connell said of his son. "And Tim lived until his 10th birthday, which frankly I think was his goal. He decided he wanted to be 10 and just willed himself across the finish line."

Diagnosed on Mother's Day weekend last year, when he was 8, Timothy suddenly found himself traveling in a world of tests and treatments, of nurses and doctors - of adults, rather than children. But his father said he may have been better equipped than most children for the abrupt transition.

"He grew up too fast, but even before the illness he wasn't silly," Kevin O'Connell said. "He was a mature kid, not in the overly serious sense, but in the understanding the world sense."

Timothy T. O'Connell was born in Manhattan and his family moved to Holliston when he was 2. The second-oldest of four boys close in age, he always saw himself as a brother first.

"He just truly loved his brothers. His mom and dad, too," his father said with a chuckle, "but there's nothing like a brother's love."

Always a sports fan, Timothy was in elementary school when he met Kiley, who also is a physical education teacher at the Miller and Placentino schools in Holliston.

"We kind of hit it off right away," Kiley said. "You could tell he was a special kid since day one and we developed a bond because of his love for sports."

An enthusiastic soccer player, Timothy was diagnosed in May 2007 when, uncharacteristically, he said he wasn't feeling well and asked to be taken out of a game his father was coaching. After speaking with her son on the sidelines that day, Joanne O'Connell decided to take him to a pediatrician immediately. She was ferrying another son to a game when a doctor called with results from the blood tests.

"The doctor called and said, 'Keep driving, just go to Children's Hospital,' " Kevin O'Connell said. "He said, 'I don't know you well enough to deliver this on the phone, but I think I have to. I think he has leukemia.' "

During the months that followed, through chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant, Timothy calmly navigated each challenge.

"He never once asked, 'Why me?' He never once felt sorry for himself," his father said. "He only asked once, 'What caused this?' I couldn't believe it. Even at the very end, when we were just having candid discussions of what was happening - when we were using the 'D word' - he just accepted that that's what happens to some kids. And no one I tell that story to who knew Tim is surprised."

The bone marrow transplant appeared to put the leukemia into remission, Kevin O'Connell said, but it recurred in early December. The family spent the holidays at home together and went to Disney World in Florida on a trip sponsored by the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Timothy also participated in a contest at Children's to design ties that will be sold to raise funds. To his surprise, his design was one of those chosen, his father said, even though art was not his strong suit. Kevin O'Connell said he plans to wear the tie his son designed at today's funeral Mass.

In April, the organizers of a Holliston fund-raiser - a children's rope-skipping event - decided to dedicate this year's earnings to the charities of Timothy's choice. He sent the bulk of the $58,000 that was raised to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, so it could send other children on trips. The remainder will help fund a Children's Hospital program called "Just for Sibs," which focuses attention on the needs of brothers and sisters of young patients.

Timothy's brothers - Brendan, Matthew, and Christopher - were by his side at Children's Hospital Tuesday. His parents brought him to the hospital from their Holliston home early in the morning after his health declined during the night.

"The boys were with Tim all day," Kevin O'Connell said. "They held his hand and stroked his hair, and they were lying in bed next to him at night when he died. We're very glad they could be with him, and I know Tim was, too."

In addition to his parents and his three brothers, Timothy leaves his grandparents, James and Diane O'Connell of Ashland, Marie McDermott of Milton, and Tom McDermott of Dennis.

A funeral Mass will be said at 10:30 a.m. today in St. Mary's Church in Holliston. Burial will be in St. Mary's Cemetery in Holliston.