It sounds like the time to leave, but take the careful way out

Q I have worked with my current boss (president of an $11 million organization) for four years on this job and we worked together at another company before this one. Increasingly, we seem to be locking horns on various key issues. I think she is being unreasonable and she thinks she is being a good businesswoman. Lately, I go home licking my wounds. It is getting very tense. I am not enjoying my job and I'm starting to dread going in each day. However, I have two kids almost at college age and so I want to be careful that I don't jeopardize their future. Any tips on how to proceed?

A Yes, get out, but do it carefully. It sounds like, despite your best efforts, there are irreconcilable differences and the best thing for you to do is to move on. If at all possible, try to hang in there until you find the next job. I know: "Easier said than done."

Because of the situation that you have just outlined, I believe a values-driven job search is important. By that I mean, try to align yourself with a job and a company that does business the way you think business should be conducted. This is why it is so important to thoroughly research the company and your future boss to the best of your ability. Read everything you can on the company if it is publicly traded. Network like crazy to talk to people who may know, or have worked with a future boss and or company. It can save a lot of heartache later on.

In the meantime, start an emergency fund. Try to contribute a significant amount to this fund each payday and don't go into it unless it is a real emergency. If things do get really bad and you want to quit or you are fired, you will have the emergency fund to live off. Try to put away at least six months of expenses, more if you are older; it may take you longer to find the next job. Do not tie this money up in a certificate of deposit or buy stocks with it. Try and keep it liquid so that you can easily tap into it if you need to.

Do at least one thing each day to move forward in your job search. Make a phone call, research a company, send a resume, write a thank you, have a networking lunch with someone you want to meet.

Remember when you are interviewing to ask future bosses how they manage, what their priorities are, and how they like to get things done. Really listen to the answers. You want to make sure that the next job is a better match .

Q I am a 53-year-old self-employed lawyer (home office) with 10 years' experience, primarily in real estate matters together with limited litigation activity. Over the years, I have earned a very modest income from my work on behalf of four main clients all of whom have, over the last few months, shifted to local law firms. Thus, I do not have any work. I am an unremarkable attorney with no areas of specialty nor experience/knowledge so specific or in demand as to make me an attractive candidate for employment with anyone (or so I fear). Further, I do not have any income, savings of any type, and I have a wife and 3 children to support. I have sent resumes to job search firms that claim permanent/temporary job openings and I have applied to numerous job openings advertised on the Internet -- all to no avail.

I truly need help as I do not believe I will gain employment as a lawyer and I do not know if my skills, if any, would be of value in any other area.

A You are bright (you graduated from law school and passed the bar exam), you undoubtedly have good analytic and problem-solving skills (it is requisite for a lawyer) and you understand real estate. I would say you have some very marketable skills.

However, you are conducting a very passive job search and you don't have the luxury of doing that. You are in a dire situation. You need money. At the very least, go down to the mall in your community and get a sales position for the holiday season. I would suggest working later in the day to allow you to job search during the early part of the day.

Go immediately to www.detma.org. That will take you to the state Division of Career Services. There are 32 One-Stop Career Centers in Massachusetts and this will help you find the one closest to you. This service enables unemployed and underemployed job seekers to use the resources, see a job counselor, learn about training and job openings, and attend job search workshops. Some aid is known as "core services" and is free to all .

I believe you need the services of a good career counselor to help you focus your job search. Don't skimp on this. You have no time to go down wrong paths. Start with a counselor at the career center in your community. The first visit will be free, and you can ask about rates thereafter. To explore other options, the Career Counselors' Consortium (www.careercounselorsne.org) and the Association of Career Professionals International (www.acpinternational.org) are reputable organizations for finding qualified career counselors.

Since you are a mature worker, I would also suggest that you tap into the resources at Operation A.B.L.E. of Greater Boston. I am executive director. Feel free to come in (131 Tremont St.) and review our job listings or see a career counselor. Fridays at 10 a.m., we conduct information sessions so that you can learn more about our resources. No need to preregister and it's free to all. In addition, check out the career fair at the bottom of our website (operationable.net) It will take you to the websites of companies that participated in our recent career fair. These are companies that want to partner with Operation A.B.L.E. and are open to hiring mature workers.

Finally, I can think of several nonprofit organizations that have multiple sites and/or properties and would value your real estate expertise. Yes, you do have areas of expertise.

Throughout my response, I have tried to convey a sense of urgency. I have stressed it since I do not hear it in your letter to the Job Doc. I want you to go visit a One-Stop Career Center and see a counselor immediately. When you land a job, I want you to promise to see a financial planner. You need to work with a professional who will set financial goals with you and you need to commit to meeting those goals. You have a family that is depending on you and you need to provide for them.

Q I have a friend who is in desperate need of reentering the workforce, and has to move to Florida from New York for financial reasons. She is 59 and has worked sporadically over the past 30 years in her own stationery business, at a nursery school, and in a doctor's office, as well as at various volunteer positions. As her husband has just lost all of their money, and is unemployed himself, she now needs to work in a job with a living wage. I'm wondering if you might know of any organizations in Florida that offer help with employment and training.

A The good news here is that I think your friend is quite employable. She has worked before and my guess is that she has some very good interpersonal and customer service skills. However, she may need some assistance with current job-search skills and may need to learn MS Word and using the Internet for resumes and cover letters.

First, have her visit the career center closest to her new community .

Second, have her find the closest vendor that offers the Senior Community Service Employment Program, the only older-worker program offered by the Department of Labor. The program provides low-income individuals a stipend while they provide community service, and more important, teaches skills at a nonprofit or government agency. This will allow her to receive income and get some on-the-job training and job counseling while she looks for unsubsidized work. If your friend needs some retraining and job search skills, this is the way to go.

Joan Cirillo is executive director of Operation A.B.L.E., which provides employment and training to adults age 45 and older. E-mail questions to jobdoc@globe.com or mail to Job Doc, Boston Globe, Box 55819, Boston, 02205.