Use emotional intelligence to handle workplace unfairness

Q I just read an article on an emotionally unstable employee. My question is what if the employer has provoked an incident, such as a dishonest, insulting performance review ? I have had an excellent work record for 11 years, but I am not promoted, not because of my skills, but for not sucking up to the boss. I took my complaint all the way to HR and the CEO, and was told that all my previous reviews mean nothing even though they indicate I should be advancing. My boss said to me in front of HR and the CEO that I have too high an opinion of myself and I should think less of myself. What kind of a man or manager does that and expects some kind of respect in return? How much can an employee take?

A Difficult people are everywhere. In the workplace, they come in all forms: coworkers, customers, even bosses. How difficult a person is for you to deal with depends on your self-respect, self-confidence, and emotional intelligence. Dealing with difficult people is easier when the person is just generally offensive or when the behavior effects other people. Dealing with difficult people is much tougher when you feel you are under attack, when you feel demoralized at work, and when the person you perceive as difficult is in a position of power. Practicing emotional intelligence, as outlined by best-selling author Dr. Daniel Goleman, involves self awareness, self-control, empathy (understanding others), and conflict management.

You have exercised your option to disagree with your performance review. Your challenge is to continue this difficult and crucial conversation in a positive way.

Sue Penchansky, senior HR consultant for KGA, a Framingham firm specializing in employee assistance programs, suggests not to "have this conversation until you have done your homework first." She also recommended consulting additional conflict resolution resources such as "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High," by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, and Stephen R. Covey -- a well respected resource on how to keep your own cool while encouraging others to do the same. According to the authors, you have three choices about such conversations: You can avoid them, face them poorly, or face them well. You will be more successful, and probably enjoy your job a whole lot more, if you face them well.

Commissions muddle final-paycheck rules

Q My question is about due pay once you exit or are released from a job, including the payment of vacation time . I have had a few sales jobs, and my commission was never paid when the job ended. Typically, I've had to wait a month or more for the final commission check. Is commission included in the stipulation that pay must be delivered in full either immediately if one is fired/laid off or during the next pay period if one leaves voluntarily?

A Understanding pay plans is a challenge, particularly in the areas of "variable compensation," like commission. Commission plans vary greatly, and are more complex than straight paychecks. People in sales can have a base salary, a bonus, a draw, straight commission, or some combination of the above. Each of these types of compensation comes with even more variations regarding when they are paid to the salesperson.

I consulted with Zoe Damplo, human resource consultant in small business solutions at the Bostonian Group, a Boston- employee benefits firm. Damplo said, "As with most situations, it depends. In this case, it depends on the nature of the job and the commission plan. Commission for sales jobs is not included in the stipulation of final payment upon discharge or resignation. Massachusetts law states that sales representatives who leave their jobs must be paid commissions within 14 days of when they come due. To define when commissions are "due," you must refer to the commission plan for details on the payment schedule. Commissions can be due or paid at the time of sale (upon invoice), when the company is paid (upon receipt), after a draw is recovered, monthly, quarterly, or annually.

The good news is it doesn't look like any due payment was withheld. The bad news is "immediately" almost never applies to compensation.

Employees not due reimbursement for car

Q The current IRS standard mileage rate is 44.5 cents per business mile. Our company, a nonprofit, recently raised ours to a much lower 30 cents a mile. Is this allowed? Also, it is an expectation that we use our personal cars during work hours to drive disabled clients to community outings, yet there is no company directive or compensation to acquire extra automobile insurance. We were told once in a meeting that company insurance would compensate for any deficits, should an accident occur. It's not quite reassuring. How does this all work?

A You have a few issues we need to separate out. Your concern for safety, liability, and financial support for the use of your automobile is certainly reasonable. Start by asking your own insurance agent for the appropriate types of documentation needed from your employer to make certain you are insured for all work use of your automobile, including transporting others. Your agent can tell you whether you need additional insurance or if you are fully covered under your or your employer's plan.

Surprisingly, according to Damplo , "an employer is not required to reimburse for business use of the employee's vehicle. If the employer elects not to reimburse, then the business loses the tax deduction. If you use your car for both business and personal purposes, you may deduct the cost of your business use. You can generally figure the amount of your deductible car expense using one of two methods: the standard mileage rate method or the actual expense method. If you qualify to use both methods, you may want to figure your deduction both ways to see which gives you a larger deduction."

The amount allowed by the IRS is typically higher than many companies reimburse, and with nonprofit organizations, this is not out of the ordinary.

Make the most of the opportunity, regardless

Q I had a really horrible interview this morning. The person I was supposed to meet with was called into an emergency meeting and her colleague who interviewed me hadn't seen my resume. To say the interview was awkward for both of us would be an understatement. I know emergency situations arise all the time in the corporate world, but I feel ripped off. I had taken the morning off from my current job and was really looking forward to this meeting. Can I salvage the situation?

A Emergency situations happen all the time in the workplace, but not always at the expense of interviewees. Hopefully this won't ever happen to you again, but in case it does -- or happens to another reader -- there are several things you can do to salvage the opportunity.

First and most importantly, take control of the situation. Under normal circumstances, the interviewer would usually control the pace of the meeting while you control, or at least share control, of the content. When the interviewer is thrown into the situation you described and clearly isn't familiar with you or your background, take the time to go over your education, experience, skills, and talents.

Be patient, friendly, and open and try to create a relaxed and comfortable environment (even on their turf!). By showing how flexible and understanding you are, but also by not squandering the opportunity to interview, you could be creating an ally within the organization who just might help further your efforts in securing that position.

While in the interview itself, ask questions that will give you more information about the position and the company. Even if he or she is unfamiliar with the particulars of the position, they will be able to give you plenty of inside information on the organization, culture, and mission, as well as on the person you were originally supposed to interview with and his or her management style.

Finally, although you may be disappointed the original interviewer was not available, maximize this opportunity, show an interest in the person and his role, and suggest you would welcome the opportunity to come back and meet the original contact.

Elaine Varelas has over 20 years of career development and consulting experience and is managing partner at Keystone Partners, a career management firm in Boston. E-mail questions to jobdoc@globe.com or mail to Job Doc, Boston Globe, Box 55819, Boston, 02205-5819.