Metaphors at work hitting a high note

I once attended a meeting when someone mentioned a new term: Calling an audible.

"Calling an audible?" someone asked. "I think it's a football term," someone else volunteered.

And she was right. When the quarterback - after eyeing up the defense - changes the play on the fly, he's calling an audible. And (un)fortunately for us, someone thought it would somehow help us move the meeting forward by introducing this little ditty into our daily conversations. Never mind that it has to be explained to non and casual football fans.

And how exactly is the term to be used? "The product is tanking in the market. Let's call an audible and drop the price." It doesn't exactly flow off the tongue.

I like the metaphors in the corporate world, especially the sports ones, since they tend to connect with people: Hit one out of the park, take one for the team, going for the gold. Even science, automotive, and music metaphors have joined the fray: reach for the stars, run on all cylinders, hit the high note.

But lately, it seems as if there's a monthly cycle of new terms, sports-related and otherwise. Where they come from, no one knows. Like the dust ball in the corner of your living room or Uncle Bill appearing unannounced at Thanksgiving, they just show up.

A number of years ago, I was on a call when a co-worker said she was going to "socialize the agenda with the team." Socialize the agenda? Did I hear her right? Is she introducing the agenda to other agendas? I didn't get it. I asked her to clarify. You know, socialize, she said. Run it up the flagpole.

Oh, now I get it. She was going to take an old, badly used corporate phrase (Run it up the flagpole) and outsource it (aka, replace it) with a newer model (socialize). I'm wondering what ever happened to the good-old fashioned term, show. As in, let's show the team the agenda. (Imagine if these phrases somehow entered our personal conversations: "Hey kids, I've run it up the flagpole and your mom is fine with socializing the restaurant idea with grandpa.")

Over the years, I've seen many a memo take a cue from Dilbert, as the terms value proposition, organic growth, and core competencies rear their ugly head. Some corporate lingo is timeless: leverage, synergy, paradigm shift. Although, the first time I heard someone say paradigm shift, I thought he was talking about a pair of dimes.

It seems to me it would be just as easy to say "We've changed our thinking" or "The marketplace has shifted."

My all-time favorite? Outside the box. Imagine the looks the inventor of this bon mot received when he or she first uttered, "We can't do things the same. We need to look at the world differently. We need to think outside the box." Perhaps people in the room nodded as if they understood what the person said. More than likely, the bewildered expression on their faces touched a nerve (hey, another medical metaphor.)

However, I've seen the light and am getting on board (not to be confused with another recent entry into the corporate fold, onboarding).

I've taken the liberty of creating a few terms that I think will add some zing to corporate life:

Scrape a toad: Borrowing something from a co-worker's desk without permission.

Memosynch: Pretending to read a memo.

Click n' purge: Opening an e-mail to get credit for sending the return receipt, then deleting the e-mail without reading it.

Threw a Damon: Resigning to work for the competition.

Yesbob: Nodding your head during a meeting as if you understand what's being discussed, when in fact you don't have a clue (see "Outside the box" reference above).

And if you aren't sure if these terms will pass muster, you could always socialize them with the team.