Q. I dread this season. I particularly hate the mandatory holiday office party. It's not that I'm antisocial or that I dislike my colleagues. It's just that I think these office parties are very artificial. People drink too much and say stupid things. I'm so uncomfortable. How bad would it be if I just didn't go this year?
A. Let's put it this way. It sure won't help you climb the career ladder at your company if you don't attend. Many companies put a lot of thought and money into these holiday parties. They try very hard to ensure that you have a good time and many try to convey that you are an important person on the team. By not attending, you are conveying many messages, some of which may be true and some that are not. Possible messages include: You don't want to be with your fellow employees, you don't appreciate your company's efforts to celebrate the holidays, you are antisocial, etc. None of which may be true. Nonetheless, by not attending the party, you make people wonder.
I think it is easier to attend the party, mingle for an hour or so, and be on your way. If it is a sit-down meal, stay for that and then leave shortly afterward. In the long run, attending the event will cause fewer problems or questions. It may be helpful for you to have a strategy about how you will work the event. For example: Be sure you ask about dress code, especially if you are new at the company or this is a new venue at your company. You will feel better about yourself if you know that you are dressed appropriately. You don't want to come in evening wear if the party is casual; vice versa, you don't want to wear work clothes or casual wear if the party is dressy.
Have only one drink. You can't imagine how many careers are derailed each year at company social events. Don't let it happen to you. Some individuals hear free booze and try to consume as much as they can. Bad idea! Nurse your one drink for the entire time at the party. It is particularly tricky if the party is at someone's house, especially if it is the boss's house. She or he may think that being a good host is making sure your glass is full every five minutes. Smile and say, no thank you, even covering the glass with your hand if you have to, to ensure that you stick with your one-drink maximum. If you know that you don't hold your liquor well or you are a recovering alcoholic, drink ginger ale. You also don't have to sit next to someone all night or talk to someone who has consumed too much booze and is acting stupid or strange. Excuse yourself and move on to speak with another colleague.
If you are shy or get tongue-tied at social events, think about four to five topics that you can bring up at the event. Topics could include weather, sports, vacation plans, or a recent movie or book you have seen or read. Try to stay away from work-related topics. Many people don't want to talk shop at social events.
Try to spend at least a few minutes with upper management. Make sure they see you and you see them. If you bring your spouse, introduce him or her to your manager and department head. When it is time to leave (and don't be the last one) thank them for the lovely event. Wish them a happy holiday. Like it or not, being able to hold your own at social events is important and management does observe who does it well and who does not. These are the same skills used to cultivate customers and keep good employees. Go and have fun.
Q. I am now in month six of my job search and getting very concerned whether I will work again. I never dreamed it would take me this long to find work. I am doing all the right things (networking, applying to job leads in both the papers and online, going to one of the One-Stop Career Centers) but still haven't landed the right job yet. Help!
A. I wish you had told me what type of work you are looking for and what your age is. We know that certain jobs take longer to land than others. For example, the hiring process for a professional job takes much longer than an office support or paraprofessional. There are also many jobs that are becoming obsolete due to technology advances or changes in the industry. We also know that mature workers (those over age 45) generally take longer to find work than younger people. One or more of these factors could be affecting your search. In addition, be aware of your timing right now. Since November and December are busy times and many employees are taking vacation time, this may slow down the interviewing process as well.
However, here are some steps to take at the beginning of the new year to jump-start your job search:
Find a career counselor or coach. Every job seeker needs someone to provide advice and cheer the person on. Try the One-Stop Career Center and see if there is a counselor that you can see on a regular basis. Even if they charge extra for this service, it is well worth it.
Join a support group or job club. Preferably one that meets every week. Looking for work can be lonely and your week may feel unstructured. Having to attend that support group each week will provide you with some structure and accountability. It is also helpful for you to hear that fellow job seekers are going through similar experiences like yourself. They also may have other contacts that may be helpful to you.
Have someone videotape you conducting a mock interview and welcome feedback. You may be saying something that is a turn off or perhaps not saying enough about a particular topic. Get feedback about what you are doing well and what needs work.
Set aggressive goals each week for your job search. For example: I will set up five networking meetings a week. I will attend at least one professional meeting per week. I will submit at least five resumes per week.
Consider a new job option. Keep asking yourself where else could you lift your skill set and put it down and be successful. The wider the search, the better chance you have of connecting and finding work. For example, if your strongest skills are communication skills, project management and management skills, and you are only looking at corporate training jobs, you are limiting your job search. You could plunk those skills down in a number of jobs including program management at a nonprofit organization, designing annual reports and other communications in a publishing company or department or working in a development office or alumni relations office at a university.
Consider an internship (even an unpaid one for a limited time) if it will allow you to explore another job or industry. This is particularly effective with career transitioners.
Consider temp work. Working for different employers, experiencing different corporate cultures, working on different projects and different software can provide you with a wealth of experience that you can use during your job search. It is also important to note that at least 25 percent of all temp jobs convert into permanent opportunities.
Q. I am a supervisor in a large insurance company. In the past month, I have had two employees, on two different occasions, tell me that they are leaving early (about 2 hours), not ask me. Both times, I was so taken aback, I did not know what to say. It would never occur to me to do this. I would go into my manager's office and explain the situation and ask her if she minded if I left early. I would never tell her I'm going and I certainly wouldn't have stood in the doorway with my coat on, as one employee did, to announce that I was leaving. These are both good workers but nonetheless, it was inappropriate behavior or have times changed and this is now considered acceptable?
A. It is not acceptable to me and I dare say, to most supervisors, for an employee to leave early without permission. Being a good employee does not permit you to leave early on company time without permission. Most of us would have handled it just as you described. They would go to their managers, explain the situation and ask permission to leave early. The other alternative would be for the employee to take half a vacation day or half a personal day and ask the supervisor, in advance, for approval.
Emergencies happen and in this case, I would try to be as supportive as I could, especially with employees who are good workers and don't ask for exceptions very often. I think most supervisors would feel the same way. Employees, take note. This is not acceptable behavior.
Joan Cirillo is the executive director of Operation A.B.L.E., a nonprofit that provides employment and training opportunities to mature workers 45 and older.
