Year with difficult boss helps grow a career

Despite his success, Mr. Samuels never acquired any people skills. He leads by an intimidating example. (istockphoto)

It is really hard to admit, but my old boss prepared me for my new job.

Politely stated, Mr. Samuels was a difficult man. He had been raised in the restaurant business, under the strict discipline of his father. As chief executive, Mr. Samuels grew his family company into a corporation. Despite his success, he never acquired any people skills. Mr. Samuels lead by an intimidating example.

The language and tone of our interoffice calls made me blush. His overt rudeness often left me speechless. In my case, the devil wore Armani. During my tenure with him, I had no idea how far Mr. Samuels would take me in my career.

As an eternal optimist, I began each morning with Mr. Samuels believing today would be the day I'd win him over. He would beckon me to his office, with notebook in hand; I would enter and stand before his desk. I often felt I was in court.

I once had to explain to Mr. Samuels why he was assigned to a window seat on his flight from Boston to Colorado. Although understandably uncomfortable for a man of his stature, it was an honest mistake. He chose to verbally reprimand me at great length, after a very successful grand re-opening of one of his restaurants where I was the belle of the ball. His timing caught me off guard. I felt like Mr. Samuels was behaving like a big baby. It wasn't easy to swallow my laughter. However, when booking future travel, you can believe I triple checked every seat assignment on every flight. Lesson number one, none of my hard work was of value unless Mr. Samuels traveled in comfort.

Within a few months of my employment, many co-workers left the company. I soon became a one-woman show. I consulted vendors, handled community relations, answered the phones, tested products, kept inventory, maintained the office equipment, planned events, and counseled the general managers. Eventually, I became the entire marketing department for 18 restaurants. I proofed menus, printed coupons, and created promotions. In addition, when there was a mouse on the loose in the corporate office, I got the call.

Despite my commitment and hard work, Mr. Samuels and I never bonded. In fact, every time he approached me with the slightest hint of praise on his lips and I lit up with eager anticipation, I was shot down with criticism. He was the rain cloud at every parade. My ideas always needed tweaking. My numbers were always off by one variable. My plans failed to capture every possible detail. Every time I reached the bar, Mr. Samuels raised it. He dangled a carrot I would never eat and, frankly, I grew tired of chasing it.

I put in a year with Mr. Samuels. Then, I began my job search. During my interviews with prospective employers, I realized something. My tenure with Mr. Samuels made me a better candidate. My skill set had expanded to a whole range of roles and responsibilities.

His daily interrogations made me prepared for some tough interview questions. My portfolio was jam packed with some really outstanding pieces of work. Some companies told me I was now overqualified for positions I was ineligible for 12 months prior. There was no denying it. Mr. Samuels gave me the edge I needed to have my pick of jobs.

Eventually, I chose a job with an employer recently recognized as one of the top companies to work for in Boston. I was hired in human resources as global relocation coordinator. In this role, I no longer work under a glass ceiling. I have found my dream job. My talents and personality are in perfect alignment with my love of interacting with people and my desire to travel. In fact, I just got back from business trips to Barcelona and Jamaica.

When I started at my new company, I participated in a weeklong, intensive training. This included an introduction to our founder and my new chief executive.

When asked about our previous jobs, I mentioned Mr. Samuels and he nodded. It turned out that he worked for Mr. Samuels' father, in one of their restaurants, as a dishwasher. It was a long time ago, but his nod told me he remembered the experience well. I sat back and laughed quietly to myself. Somehow, it made perfect sense. It felt as if everything had come full circle. I was right where I was meant to be.

Each fiscal quarter, several hundred of us attend meetings, where our chief executive thanks us for our hard work, acknowledges our challenges, points out our competition and refocuses us on our strategy. A month ago, I even had lunch with our chief executive and a handful of co-workers.

It was an opportunity to ask candid questions about our global operation. I sat feeling confident that my contribution relocating talent had an impact on our bottom line. This felt so different.

Previously, if I had something to say to Mr. Samuels, I had to say it to his back, as he collected his mail, before he reached his door and closed it in my face. I was disheartened on a daily basis.

In hindsight, I could have spent my time with Mr. Samuels complaining. His treatment of me was minimally bearable. Then again, he would not have tolerated my dissatisfaction.

Unfortunately, when it comes to a good boss, it is the luck of the draw. However, the difficult ones are reluctant teachers, in possession of some of the most meaningful lessons.

Sometimes, it is hard to recognize these lessons and feel gratitude for challenging experiences, in spite of the teacher. My new chief executive is a willing teacher, which sets him apart from Mr. Samuels. A willing teacher is a leader. I have come to understand the difference.