Q. I work in a cubicle area. In addition to the pleasant women I work with is a group I call "the mean team." They tend to pick on one or two individuals and cluster and talk in whispers. One nasty remark to a single person with no children was, "Don't you usually think that unmarried people without children tend to end up all alone at the end of their lives?"
We operate with various shifts, and frequently the purpose of "the mean team" is to drive someone off a shift (or to make them quit an extremely lucrative job). The answer is not to go to supervisors, because when that happens, the "mean team" gets more subtle and meaner. I know that everyone in the office knows who these people are and does not have respect for them. We mostly run on "consider the source." But they are still spewing their bitterness and causing strain. What can be done to stop this?
B.B., Plymouth
A. When their mean behavior compels others to change shifts or to give up lucrative positions, their actions go beyond mere cattiness. They are engaging in a subtle form of harassment.
To try to remedy this, you have two courses of action. First, decide to resist. Every time they "spew the bitterness," respond as a group. Show them that the employees who are not part of the "mean team" have had it and will not let them rule the roost anymore. Tell them you don't agree with their comments, that their negativity isn't appreciated, and that you support the person who is the object of their venom. Next time they are whispering, say "Sorry, Susan, I didn't hear you. Could you speak up, please?" or, "Susan, Jane - whispering is so distracting. Could you please take your conversation to a private location?"
When the person made the comment about the unmarried worker without a child, several of you could immediately have challenged: "Megan, why would you say something like that? It's not true and it's obviously meant to be hurtful." You have to show the bullies that their behavior will not be tolerated. And if you show them they are powerless to affect you, the bullying will lose its appeal.
Second, get as many employees as possible together and meet with management and your HR officer. Be ready to name names and present specific examples, not just innuendo. Make it an issue of profits and productivity and not just complaints about a fellow employee. Businesses cannot afford to lose good employees over something as preventable as rudeness in the workplace.
NEED ADVICE? E-mail questions about business etiquette to bizmanners@globe.com; fax to 617-929-3183; or mail to Etiquette at Work, The Boston Globe, P.O. Box 55819, Boston, MA 02205-5819. Readers whose questions are published will receive a copy of Peggy and Peter Post's book, "The Etiquette Advantage in Business." Listen to Peter's advice at boston.com/news/podcasts.![]()


