Saying yes is no fun, and no way to get ahead

An unconventional former CEO now dispenses advice on being successful

(Jodi Hilton for the Boston Globe)

David D'Alessandro retired in 2004 from John Hancock Financial Services Inc. after his unorthodox rise from advertising man to chief executive. D'Alessandro spoke to Boston Globe reporter Kimberly Blanton about his career and his third book, which dispenses advice about getting ahead in corporate America. "Executive Warfare: 10 Rules of Engagement for Winning Your War for Success" made The New York Times best-seller list for advice books.

Why did you write this book?
Every week, at least two or three executives call me to talk about their career concerns. Why are they not rising? Why is being smart and accomplished not enough to get ahead? So, after a few hundred of these conversations, I decided to write my advice down.

With your rock 'n' roll memorabilia on your office walls and your loud ties, you were hardly a CEO from central casting. How did you get away with that?
I never wore loud ties - bright perhaps. I just wouldn't wear ties designed for lying in a casket. The gray flannel 1950s CEO is still certainly around. But between high tech, private equity, dot-coms, etc., there are less of the "Father's Knows Best" types dominating the CEO landscape. What counts is your ability to attain results. You can be less of a stereotype, but you better be able to deliver spectacular results. If you can't, put duck paintings on your walls, buy 10 red and blue striped ties, and learn how to always say "yes."

What advice in your book was critical to your success?
Listen carefully! Watch people closely! Recognize your employees don't love you! They may not hate you, but they don't love you. For them it's a job - a career - not a family. They are there to help you achieve. You are there to get them to do that and in turn be rewarded for their efforts. Don't ever lose that perspective - it's about results - not pretend relationships.

While heading Hancock's retail division, you wrote, you made a decision to come clean and compensate customers who had been misled about a certain insurance product - against the lawyers' advice. Why?
Lawyers very seldom, at initial blush, believe you should give in, because they think you should fight. But when you've done something really wrong, and it's going to significantly damage the company's reputation, then you are better laying down and laying down quick. Otherwise, you're eventually going to end up having many, many, many days of bad publicity versus a few, and your reputation will be much worse off if you litigate it and lose.

Why didn't that decision damage your reputation inside the company?
For someone to stand up and say, "You did sell a product to people who thought it was something else, and you misled them. Why don't we just get it over with?" That is seen in some circles as weakness. The thing that helped me was a number of other insurance companies decided to fight. When they did that, they got hammered in court, their reputations were damaged dramatically, executives were excoriated by their boards.

Is it all right to disagree with a client?
This old adage that you must always make loud sucking noises around a client may have been true in the '50s, and it may still be true with some clients. But clients are more sophisticated than they used to be, and they pay you to a great extent for your advice and counsel even if it disagrees with their thinking. If you're working for people who only want you to nod yes, what kind of career is that? You should disagree when you feel strongly about it. But you should also know when your opinion has been heard and disagreed with and you carry out the directions as ordered by the client.

Which works better: being a friendly or a demanding boss?
Demanding and friendly are not mutually exclusive. Just don't get too close. Don't socialize with employees and executives too much. Maintain perspective. The guy you are playing tennis with today, you may have to fire tomorrow. Or promote. Make certain that distance and perspective are contributing to your decision - not "friendship." Some of my executives were people I really did not like socially. But boy, did they deliver. Who cares if they come to your funeral?

You write about the hunters inside a company, who raise the money; the skinners, such as accountants, who keep track of the money; and the diners who cost the organization but are necessary operationally. Why do hunters get ahead?
Hunters usually get ahead now as they have for centuries, whether they killed animals for the village family to eat or found gold in the mountains. It is simply human nature to reward the people who generate wealth. The methods of "hunting" may have changed, but the human reward dynamics have been the same for centuries. Others can excel, it's just easier for the hunters.

You recommend that one not adopt the boss's enemy as one's own. What is the reason?
It is quite unwise to have your boss's enemy for two reasons. First the enemy's camp needs an honest broker in your boss's camp to get things done. And your boss needs the same. Second, if your boss's enemy is promoted, he/she will remember how you acted when there was a competition with your boss. Bad judgment to be on the wrong side of that situation.

What's the best advice for managing up and grooming superiors for promotions?
Don't be afraid to deliver bad news and never, never surprise your superiors by bringing them bad news much later than you first learned it. Those are the cardinal rules. Break them and you will be considered untrustworthy and disloyal - not exactly a winning combination.