E-mail style can affect your business relations

Q. We have a vendor that we pay over $1 million per year. I have to work with these guys because we need their merchandise. How would you deal with this vendor's salesperson who verbally attacks your e-mail style? I often don't take the time to worry whether I'm using caps, colors, or what font type. I just want to get the questions and requests taken care of quickly. I've never had anyone else complain about the type style or my lack of professionalism. In his latest tirade he concluded: "I can say that neither myself nor my team wants to receive e-mails like that. For that reason, from now on, any e-mails to me that are not presented in a professional manner will not be addressed."

How do you think I should respond?

C.C., Wichita, Kan.

A. It sounds like the vendor started out making an observation which you didn't respond to, and then frustration increased on both sides to a point where the vendor has now drawn a line in the sand.

He's refusing to respond anymore to your current e-mail style. You're dependent on his merchandise. It seems like you have no choice but to comply with his request. However, he makes a valid point about your e-mails. I recommend that you write all your e-mails in sentence case, in one color, and in one font. Currently, your e-mails can be difficult to read, and as a result mistakes can be made. They also foster an unprofessional image, which won't serve you well, not just with this vendor but with all the people with whom you communicate.

It is difficult to critique another person's image because the person may not accept the criticism. He's clearly frustrated that you haven't responded to him. Now he's willing to risk $1 million of business. He's assuming because he's supposedly the only supplier of the merchandise that he can take this stance. It may work in the short run. However, in the long run he risks losing the business. I don't think he would want to have to explain why to his boss. The vendor should take care to pick his battles. He should ask himself if risking losing $1 million of business is really worth the fight.

The reality is that you have no choice but to accede to this request or you won't have the merchandise you need. In order to resolve the situation at this point, sit down with him and talk it over. Let him know that there was no intent to ignore him and that you want to have a good relationship with him. Meanwhile, polish up your e-mail style - it obviously matters, at least to this vendor, and, whether anyone else comments on it, it'll make a difference to them as well.

Peter Post is the great-grandson of manners guru Emily Post and is the director of the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt.

NEED ADVICE? E-mail questions about business etiquette to bizmanners@globe.com; fax to 617-929-3183; or mail to Etiquette at Work, The Boston Globe, P.O. Box 55819, Boston, MA 02205-5819.