Expressing gratitude with a note is nice, but not always necessary
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Q. I'm a nurse. What's proper in the case of receiving a small gift from a patient (usually it's candy or a simple floral arrangement). Should I send a "thank you" for the "thank you," just a note acknowledging the gift, or no response at all?
B.G., Fostoria, Ohio
A. The general rule of thumb regarding thank you notes is: If you have thanked the person in person when you received the gift and opened it in front of him or her, then no further action is required. The only time this is different is in the case of shower or wedding gifts for which a thank you note is obligatory.
That being said, a thank you note is always a great way to reiterate your appreciation for the gift and to reach out and touch the giver one more time.
If the gift was sent to you or you didn't open it when it was given to you, then a thank you note is appropriate.
It gives you an opportunity to let the giver know you received it and to show your appreciation. As long as you're going to the trouble, make it a handwritten note rather than an e-mail which may never reach the giver.
Q. What are the correct initials for someone with a last name beginning with an O and an apostrophe? Would "John James O'Keeffe" be JJO'K, JJO, or JJK?
L.D., Newport Beach, Calif.
A. A monogram is a matter of personal taste. There is no right or wrong answer. So, if you're having a gift or letterhead monogrammed for someone, it's best to ask the person first. Typically, a last name that has an apostrophe in it uses only the first letter of the last name in the monogram.
In your example that would be JJO. In the same manner, a McHenry or MacPherson uses just the "M." If the last name contains two separate words, such as John Peter Van Buren, then both the last name initials may be used: JPVB. Some people prefer to exclude their middle initial and just use first and last name initials.
Peter Post is the great-grandson of manners guru Emily Post and is the director of the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt.
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