Gum chewer likely doesn't realize co-workers want to pop him over noise
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Q. What do you say when you can hear a co-worker popping their gum while they chew?
O.H., Long Beach, Calif.
A. It's frustrating and each pop intensifies your frustration. As annoying as it is to you, the popper probably doesn't hear it and isn't aware of the problem it is causing you. Your goal should be to make them aware of the problem without being critical. Don't just shout over the cube wall for everyone to hear.
Instead, ask to talk to them, privately: "John, do you have a minute? I have a favor to ask of you. It's about your gum chewing. I'm sure you don't realize how distracting it is. Were you aware how loud the popping noises that you make can be?"
Asking the question forces John to address his specific gum chewing and the problem. From there, you can work with him on toning down the popping. While you're solving this problem, ask yourself: "Do I have any mannerisms that could be distracting to my co-workers?"
Q. I'm a 65-year-old man. I work as teacher's aide at a high school. One of the younger teachers gave me a gift certificate to a local bookstore as a Christmas present. Does this require a thank you note from me?
T.O., Peterborough, N.H.
A. When thank you notes need to be written seems to be a vexing question. If you receive a gift, open it in front of the giver and thank her for it, then there's no obligation to follow up with a note. If the giver isn't present when you open the gift, then you should write a thank you note. That said, the real etiquette of thank you notes revolves around desire rather than need. Write because you want to, not because you have to. Even if you have thanked the giver in person, let your desire to connect with and show real appreciation to the giver trump the rules.
Peter Post is the great-grandson of manners guru Emily Post and is the director of the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt.
NEED ADVICE? E-mail questions about business etiquette to bizmanners@globe.com; fax to 617-929-3183; or mail to Etiquette at Work, The Boston Globe, P.O. Box 55819, Boston, MA 02205-5819.
