It's a good idea to avoid casual chatter in work-related e-mail
Q. How does mail forwarding factor into etiquette if I send something to person A, who forwards it to person B, who replies back to me. What I said to person A wasn't necessarily meant for person B. Sometimes I'm e-mailing peers with a more casual writing style, and at some point the e-mail gets forwarded to a higher level boss. This makes me look like a jerk because I'm writing an informal e-mail that unintentionally ends up in the hands of someone who could potentially decide whether I stay or go.
If someone sends me an informal e-mail and the information contained needs to be sent up the ladder, I'll rephrase it more formally, give credit to the person who gave it to me, and I'll copy the originator. This is the way I would prefer it to be done.
N.M., San Jose, Calif.
A. The answer is not to send anything in an e-mail that you wouldn't want seen by other people; in essence, if you can't post your e-mail on a bulletin board for anyone to read, then you shouldn't be putting the message in an e-mail. You can't rely on the recipient to make sure that your e-mail isn't forwarded either intentionally or unintentionally. You have no control over how your e-mail might get out to a much wider audience. It's why you should also make sure all your business e-mails are crafted so if they are seen by your boss, they will reflect positively on you. Hopefully, your boss can distinguish between an informal exchange among colleagues and a more finished note sent to him.
I would avoid rewriting other people's communications so they sound better to you before you forward them on. Your rewrite may inadvertently change the message, at least as the original writer perceives it. The better practice would be to write back to the individual and suggest that he forward it: "John, I think it would be great for Ms. Smith to see this. You might want to forward it on to her." Then, he has the option of revising - or not.
Peter Post is the great-grandson of manners guru Emily Post and is the director of the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt.
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