When dealing with clients, worker - and boss - should be up-front
Q. What is the best way to handle requests from a client when your boss asks you not to move forward on any of this client's requests. The client's company owes your company a large sum of money. But you still have to act neutral, not indicating a problem.
M.T., Wixom, Mich.
A. Unfortunately, your boss is putting you between a rock and a hard place, and, frankly, that's unfair. It's totally reasonable for your boss to stop all work for the client. What's not reasonable is for the boss to wimp out and not tell the client what's happening.
Your best solution is to speak with your boss. "Mr. Smith, I understand why we should stop doing any work for this client, but the client needs to know why that's happening. I can only avoid the issue for so long before he simply thinks I'm not doing my job. Are you planning on talking to him so I'm not in the middle of this problem?" It's important to ask your boss the direct question so he has to address the issue with you.
Q. I've been dealing consistently with a very prominent businessman from Egypt. He hosted me and my husband in Egypt. I hosted him and his family here in the United States. We are working together in big business ventures and will continue to do so. How do I make the transition from addressing each other as Mr. and Mrs. to a more informal business approach? I don't want to move too quickly or offend him.
A.C., Coral Gables, Fla.
A. Male-female business relationships in the Middle East are more formal, especially in public or in front of subordinates. If you really want to move to a more informal first name basis, the best approach is to be direct: "Mr. Rashad, I'd like to ask you something. I hope you don't mind. In my country it is customary for business associates who are working together on a long-term basis to use first names. Would that be acceptable to you?" This gives you both the opportunity to discuss the matter, but don't take offense if he prefers the more formal route.
E-mail questions about business etiquette to etiquetteatwork@ emilypost.com. If your letter appears in this column, you will receive a copy of Peter Posts "The Etiquette Advantage in Business." 
