Is it appropriate for my boss to ask me if I'm looking for another job?
Q: Is it appropriate for my boss to ask me point-blank if I'm looking for another job? I find it rather rude. I don't think this is anyone's business, especially my manager's. What's a suitable response?
J.C., Boston
A: I think it's pretty rude, too. The problem is, once the question has been asked, you have to give an answer. A smart retort like ''I wasn't, but now that you ask, I'm going to start looking" may be what you want to say, but you'll probably be better off going with something less confrontational.
If you really are looking, consider a direct response: ''Yes, I am looking. I'm really unhappy here." First, this answer gives you an opportunity to air any issues that might be bothering you. At the same time, being forthright puts the ball squarely back in your boss's court, providing him with an opening to explore how your current situation might be improved.
On the other hand, you may not be looking. In this case, you really should move quickly to clear up any misperception. You could reply: ''No, I'm happy here. What made you ask?" By inquiring, you may be nipping a rumor in the bud. (For instance, your boss or another colleague might have seen you at lunch with a friend who is a headhunter, and jumped to the wrong conclusion about the purpose of your get-together.)
Finally, there's always plausible deniability. If you're looking but don't want to show your hand, simply respond: ''I'm always thinking about my future and exploring opportunities here and elsewhere. If anything gets serious, you can be sure I'll let you know."
Q: What is the proper protocol for job hunting while still at one's current job? How do I handle taking time out for interviews, for example?
R.P., Boston
A: Conducting phone interviews on a company telephone, writing your rsum when you should be preparing that report, or meeting with interviewers on company time are all major mistakes. Your future employer won't be impressed by this behavior, and you risk losing your present job. Make every effort to separate your job search from your current work responsibilities.
Here's how: Have potential employers call your home phone number or a cellphone number with voice mail, then check for messages during breaks or at lunch. If you must schedule an interview during work hours, take off some personal time.
Never use your current employer's stationery to print rsums or letters. Remember to use your own stamps for postage.
E-mail your questions about business etiquette to bizmanners@globe.com; fax to 617-929-3183; or mail to Etiquette at Work, The Boston Globe, P.O. Box 55819, Boston, MA 02205-5819. Peter Post is a director of the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt.
