What is the proper way to discard an olive pit when you're at a restaurant?
Q: What is the proper way to discard an olive pit when you're at a restaurant?
C.H.,
Portsmouth, N.H.
A: The rule of thumb is that any food you put into your mouth with your fingers should be taken out of your mouth with your fingers, while any food that goes into your mouth on a utensil should come out of your mouth onto that same utensil.
If you placed the olive in your mouth with your fingers, hold the pit between your lips and then use your thumb and forefinger to lightly remove the pit and place it on the edge of your plate. If you used a fork to get the olive or any other food to your mouth, simply hold the fork up to your lips and then discreetly push the offending piece of food (in this case, the olive pit) onto the utensil and lower it to your plate, rather than into your napkin.
Whether you use your fingers or a utensil, you should always cup your other hand gently in front of your mouth while removing any food so your eating companions won't be grossed out by whatever you're taking from your mouth.
Q: A co-worker includes an exclamation mark, indicating ''high importance," in the subject line of almost every e-mail she sends. I'm not sure whether she thinks everything she has to say is important, or has just stumbled onto a setting she's not aware of. A small percentage of her e-mails don't have the exclamation, so I don't believe it's the latter.
Should I confront her about this? On the other hand, I don't want to offend her if she really thinks she's telling me something important.
B.S.,
Gloucester
A: Co-workers' idiosyncrasies are the cause of more trouble and frustration in the workplace than you can imagine. Behavior that's bothersome to one person is often simply of no significance to another. In fact, the perpetrator frequently isn't even aware that he or she is annoying anyone.
In your case, you have two choices: ignore the exclamation marks, since you have more important things to deal with, or talk to her in private. If you do decide to speak with her, avoid taking an accusatory approach (''Marge, why do you send almost every e-mail marked as high importance? It's really irritating me.")
Instead, try giving her the benefit of the doubt: ''Marge, I notice you mark all your e-mails as high importance, with a red exclamation point on them. You're the only person whose e-mails come through to me like that, so I was wondering if you were aware this is happening?"
E-mail questions about business etiquette to bizmanners@globe.com; fax to 617-929-3183; or mail to Etiquette at Work, The Boston Globe, P.O. Box 55819, Boston, MA 02205-5819. Readers whose questions are published will receive a copy of Peggy and Peter Post's book, ''The Etiquette Advantage in Business." Listen to Peter's advice at boston.com/business/podcast.
