Gift-giving at work
With three questions about gift-giving, this column puts the wrap on holiday etiquette:
Q. Each year, a woman in our office takes a few days off from work and bakes dozens of holiday cookies, then hands them out to her co-workers in tins. If you return the tin when you're done, you set yourself up for the next year's cookie distribution. Is a reciprocating gift appropriate or necessary for this annual ritual, or is a thank-you card, given when the tin is returned, sufficient?
S.J.,
A. While a gift to her would be nice , a thank-you card is all that is needed. Whether you give a reciprocal gift is up to you. That said, you shouldn't wait until you return the tin to write your thank-you note -- unless, of course, you consume all the cookies the night you receive them, and return the tin the very next day!
Q. I gave someone a nice present for Christmas, but they didn't get me anything in return. Is it wrong for me to be upset?
T.H., Boston
A. Gift-giving should really be about your desire to give a present as a way of showing your appreciation to the other person for being your friend or for being there for you in the past year. It should never be a tit-for-tat kind of thing.
For a wonderful example of this, look at the previous letter from S.J. (above).
Q. Thank you for all of your efforts in educating us about ethics in the business world. In my office, the whole department goes for a Christmas lunch, where a lot of thank-yous are exchanged. On behalf of my co-workers and myself, I bought a gift for our manager, to thank him for everything he's done for us. The accompanying card was signed by all those reporting to him.
My question is, who should hand him the gift -- the one who organized the purchase of it, or someone more senior? Thank you, and happy holidays.
A.C., Pretoria, South Africa
A. It's nice for the organizer to be the one who gives the gift. As the gift is being handed to the manager, the organizer should make sure to let the manager know it came from everyone: "Mr. Smith, we wanted you to have something from all of us, so the whole department got together to give you this. We hope you enjoy it. Thank you for everything you've done for us."
