Etiquette at Work
Q My friends and I go out to lunch quite often. Sometimes I'll have a coupon for, say, $3.00 off the check. Restaurants often balk at giving out separate checks, but if they did, my inclination would be to use the coupon for my meal only. Is it OK if I do the same when we're dividing up a single check -- or should I apply the coupon against the entire bill, so the savings are shared equally by everyone?
R. G., Nashua
A Splitting bills always seems to cause difficulties. In your case, it sounds like your group usually splits a single bill with everyone kicking in their portion. If so, there's no need to share your coupon savings with the others. Your coupon is just another form of money -- so if your portion of the bill is $13, it's fine to contribute $10 plus your coupon.
Q You've seen them: those folks who use the restroom and then walk out without washing their hands. It's not always just after using the urinal, either! Knowing that I have to use the same doorknobs, public areas, and office machines as these people, how do I go about getting them to clean up after themselves? I'd like to be able to touch common items without worrying that I've just filthied my hands. I directly confronted one co-worker at a former job about this issue, and it did not go well. Any suggestions?
Q.W., Tampa
A While your complaint makes sense, your solution isn't going to resolve the problem. Think about it: Every day, you touch countless doorknobs, handrails, and a myriad of other objects, without having the slightest idea whose hands -- washed or unwashed -- have been in contact with them. For every co-worker you see who fails to wash his hands, there are sure to be other nonwashers you don't see. In terms of hygiene, the most important thing any of us can do is to wash our own hands frequently and try hard to avoid touching our own mouth, nose, or eyes.
Unfortunately, as you discovered, confronting a person about this sort of issue doesn't work, because the focus quickly shifts to how you're treating that person and away from the problem you're trying to address. If you feel compelled to talk to an offender, your approach needs to be strictly nonconfrontational. Other options include requesting that management post signs in the restrooms reminding people to wash their hands, or asking for a team meeting on the subject of cleanliness, where the importance of hand washing can be stressed without any fingers being pointed and keeping hand sanitizer at your desk for quick use.
