Should I write a thank-you note to each individual person, or a single note to an entire group?
Q: I recently received a thank-you note and gift card from our executive management team for helping them with a large project. I'd like to thank the team in return. Should I write a thank-you note to each individual person, or a single note to the entire group? Also, is it appropriate to send these thank-you notes in e-mail form?
M.S., Pearland, Texas
A: If the executive management team has five or fewer people on it, sending a thank-you note to each person would be the best way to handle the situation. Why? Because it's the respectful thing to do, and because sending a note to each person shows that you instinctively take the very best possible approach to things, exactly the image that you want to reinforce in the minds of the team members.
If the team is larger then five members, it would be appropriate to write a note to the entire team and send it to the chairperson to share with the others.
While an e-mail thank-you is better than nothing, it's not as personal or memorable as a written note. Your e-mail will be competing with a plethora of other e-mails, assuming it gets past the spam filter. Plus, the e-mail is likely to be deleted as soon as it's read.
A handwritten note, on the other hand, arrives as a piece of mail that's not a bill or junk mail. Once opened and read, it is put down on the desk where it will sit for several hours or even days.
Every time the recipient sees it, he or she will be reminded of you. Given a choice, I'd opt for being remembered rather than deleted.
Q: I've always been taught that it's inappropriate to cut any food with the side of your fork. For instance, I've been taught to use the tines of the fork, never the side, to cut a piece of cake or a cherry tomato, and then to place the morsel in my mouth with the fork tines pointing up. Please advise.
D.D., Mequon, Wis.
A: As far back as 1922, Emily Post recommended that "Soft foods, like croquettes, hash on toast, all eggs, and vegetables should be cut or merely broken apart with the edge of the fork held like the knife."
I could see not using the side of a fork on food that might be difficult to cut, like a cherry tomato, since your fork could slip and you might end up with the food on the table or, even worse, in your lap. But something that's easy to cut with the side of a fork, like cake? Go for it.
MORE OFFICE MANNERS Listen to Peter's advice at boston.com/news/podcasts. E-mail questions about business etiquette to bizmanners@globe.com; fax to 617-929-3183; or mail to Etiquette at Work, The Boston Globe, P.O. Box 55819, Boston, MA 02205-5819. Readers whose questions are published will receive a copy of Peggy and Peter Post's book, "The Etiquette Advantage in Business."
