Q: Our company is having an open house to celebrate our move into a new building. When addressing the envelopes containing the open house invitations, is it OK to use printed labels, or should the envelopes be hand addressed?
P. S., Phoenix
A: Typically, for invitations to a small or personal business event, I recommend using hand-addressed envelopes as opposed to printed labels. Still, there always seems to be an exception to any etiquette guideline, and this situation might be just such an exception. If the open house invitation is really more like a notice to a wide group of people, then printed labels would be acceptable. If, however, you're sending invitations to a select group of people, then you should hand address the envelopes.
Q: Recently, a person at a party stepped in front of me at the very moment I was trying to enter. She said "Excuse me," to which I responded "You're excused." A friend told me this was rude on my part, because "Excuse me" doesn't require a response. Any thoughts on this?
J. D., West Palm Beach, Fla.
A: I think your friend is batting .500. When someone says "Excuse me," the courteous move is to acknowledge that the person said something to you. This means you really should say something. Not responding would be a bit caddish.
That said, a simple acknowledgement of the person's "Excuse me" is all that's called for. Something like "No problem," or "That's all right" would be a kind, nonoffensive response. When someone says "Excuse me," they aren't looking for your agreement, they're letting you know that they realize they're causing a problem for you.
Unfortunately, by saying something such as "You're excused," you can come off sounding as if you were frustrated or annoyed by that person's actions. The person might think you were expressing offense at what she did, instead of accepting her simple mistake and apology. Additionally, even if you didn't think your response had a negative implication to it, from her point of view it might have been an unexpected, slightly in-your-face- response. Because of this, she might perceive your response negatively.
A good litmus test to apply in such situations is to ask yourself how you would like to be treated. Keep in mind that much of etiquette is doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. Would you be comfortable if a person responded to your "Excuse me" with "You're excused?" Or would you prefer a more positive acknowledgment?
MORE OFFICE MANNERS Listen to Peter's advice at boston.com/news/podcasts. E-mail questions about business etiquette to bizmanners@globe.com; fax to 617-929-3183; or mail to Etiquette at Work, The Boston Globe, P.O. Box 55819, Boston, MA 02205-5819. Readers whose questions are published will receive a copy of Peggy and Peter Post's book, "The Etiquette Advantage in Business."
