It seemed too easy.
We set out on a mission to stump the TomTom, one of the new generation of Global Positioning Satellite devices that stick to the windshield with a suction cup and promise to eliminate the need to ever open a map or ask for directions.
Craftily, we entered an address that could baffle veteran cabbies: 10 Gold St., South Boston. Besides being one of Southie's narrowest residential ways, Gold Street is also bisected by railroad tracks.
The TomTom guided us down Old Colony Avenue onto Dorchester Avenue and within minutes had us turning onto Gold Street. "You have reached your destination," TomTom's female narrator announced.
But our way was blocked by a chain link fence sporting a sign that read, "DANGER No Trespassing." We were in the shadow of the MBTA Employees Credit Union. But there was no sign of 10 Gold; in fact there were no house numbers to be seen.
It seemed we had fooled TomTom into taking us onto the piece of Gold Street without any addresses. Amid snow flurries, we savored the moment.
Then we punched in the address of 200 Gold St. As we started turning around, TomTom chirped up, guided us back out of the dead-end, steered us to a nearby street that scaled the railroad tracks, and then had us to turn onto the other section of Gold Street - right up to the 200 block.
"You have reached your destination," it said in the same electronic voice, although there seemed to be a hint of triumph in its tone.
This was going to be harder than we thought.
Next stop: the Barking Crab, the rustic restaurant with a view of the Financial District over the Fort Point Channel. And a challenge, because it is surrounded by new streets that are still taking shape as the South Boston Waterfront is built out.
Through its Points of Interest function, TomTom can search for nearby restaurants, and sure enough it had a listing for the Crab. It took us through Southie, corrected us when we prematurely turned onto Farnsworth Avenue ("Turn around at your first chance"), and took us right to the restaurant's front door. Impressive.
But what about other Points of Interest a tourist might want to see? Like the Moakley Federal Courthouse right across the street? TomTom didn't recognize our instructions. Nothing for "courthouse," "Moakley Courthouse," or "federal courthouse."
Perhaps out of frustration, it finally suggested the Courthouse Pub on Central Street. In Lynn. It was midafternoon, too early for a beer.
There was also an air of alarm when TomTom couldn't find a suggested destination.
"No POI found!" it flashed urgently on the screen, as if we were adrift in the Vega System without warp power.
We acted like VIPs and played around with other POIs, and quickly identified a quirk: TomTom couldn't identify some streets and destinations if we gave the location as South Boston. But it found them when we punched in "Boston" as the city. This spells trouble for longtime residents.
Memo to Mayor Menino: TomTom also doesn't seem to know about that shiny $800 million shed on Summer Street. Enter "Convention Center," and TomTom will offer directions to the Hynes Convention Center in Back Bay. It could lead to every tourist's worst navigational nightmare: asking for directions when you're in plain view of the destination. TomTom, it seemed, could not shield us from that shame.
TomTom has a selection of computer voices, and ours was "Mandy." She spoke with a British flavor, at one point suggesting we enter "the motorway." Quaint, so long as you don't end up driving on the wrong side of the street.
The next challenge we threw at TomTom was Unity Court, a tiny, tucked-away North End enclave filled with architectural gems. Mandy did a good job guiding us to the North End. The screen clearly showed how Atlantic Avenue transformed into Commercial Street at Columbus Park. Mandy warned us about the extra-sharp left onto North Street and had us turn right onto Hanover Avenue, another single-car-width alley.
But halfway up the block, two guys had parked in the street. They hadn't bothered to put their blinkers on. They were loading furniture into a Jeep Grand Cherokee. To get the couch out the doorway, they had cut it into pieces with a power saw. It seemed best not to ask them to move. And without a helicopter, there is no other way into Unity Court. TomTom's alternate route function could not remake the North End's space-time continuum for us.
We tried one more Point of Interest - the USS Constitution Museum in Charlestown. It seemed an easy task - over the Route 99 bridge, right onto Chelsea Street, and a right into the Charlestown Navy Yard. The museum was 100 yards ahead, and Old Ironsides was moored just beyond. We were there.
Then Mandy spoke up. "Left turn."
Onto First Avenue.
"Continue one-quarter mile."
We complied.
"Right turn."
Abruptly we were turned up against the locked grate of the Shipways Garage, a private parking facility six blocks past the Constitution.
"You have reached your destination," said Mandy.
Jeffrey Krasner can be reached at krasner@globe.com.
