Observe 'Bathroom Reading' month--no way!

Before I continue, I must interrupt this rant with a public service announcement about your health: You shouldn't read while seated on the toilet bowl. Sitting for long periods on the loo may cause hemorrhoids, according to WebMD and other medical authorities. You're supposed to take care of business, wash your hands and leave. No lingering on the porcelain! In other words, there should be no commemoration of bathroom reading because the activity may lead to pain.

Anyway, press releases heralding these nonevents go to magazine and newspaper reporters in hopes that they will cover the nonevents as if they were news. They're not news. They're manufactured holidays. (Note: I didn't get the press release. I heard about NBRM through the Interwebs.) But sure enough, NBRM gets covered in some nice little feature package in print, online or broadcast--and everyone giggles. The anchors nod, kid each other about their reading habits and then turn to the camera and say, "Folks, do you read in the bathroom? Go to our website and vote in our poll. We'll report the results on our 11 p.m. broadcast."

Meanwhile, companies that make imprinted doodads publish "retail promotional calendars" on their sites and suggest appropriate products for each occasion. I did a Google search and found those calendar listings all over the web. For many book events, companies suggest imprinted reading lights, bookmarks, book covers, legal pads, pens, pencils and so much more that could be customized for marketing your organization’s connection to this nonevent. Although I saw no recommendations from these companies for an appropriate item for NBRM, I did find plenty of bloggers who came up with potty puns and lists of books other than "Uncle John’s Bathroom Reading" series that are supposedly great powder room reads.

Somehow, I don't think librarians and bookstores would go for a tie-in with National Bathroom Reading Month, unless of course, a bookstore hopes to sell more of Uncle John's books. More their speed would be Library Lovers Week (February), National Poetry Month (April), Returned the Borrowed Books (March), Banned Books Week (September) and National Book Month (October). At least, those promote literacy and encourage people to read any book, not one particular publisher’s books.

I’m also all for events and days that have some literary connection: Bloomsday (June 16) or Calaveras County Fair’s Jumping Frog Jubilee (May). I like the attention a classic book gets for its publication anniversary. Recently, kids and grownups celebrated the 100th birthday of Dr. Seuss. This summer, many people are rereading To Kill a Mockingbird, or even picking it up for the first time, because of the 50th publication anniversary buzz. The book blog She is Too Fond of Books is inviting readers to take up the book and join a discussion on the site and via Twitter (hashtag #tkam). The novel's impending anniversary, July 11, has people discussing the influence of Harper Lee’s book and the movie adaptation on radio shows like the The Takeaway and elsewhere. Such milestones provide an opportunity to reacquaint ourselves with books that nourished us, opened new worlds to us and even changed our lives.

As you probably know by now, I don't read in the bathroom. I prefer to do my reading in a comfy chair on the patio.