1. It's cheaper than a cherry red Porsche, but it doesn't attract younger women (in fact, just the opposite). Plus, it plows the driveway. (If you buy the bucketloader attachment.)
2. You can resell it for what you paid for it. This is because other men are crazy enough to pay big money for a 30-year-old piece of equipment. My husband sold his old John Deere MT to a guy from Connecticut for exactly what he paid for it 10 years earlier. This guy is using it for a lawn ornament.
3. It's not booze or drugs. And in some situations, it may be tax deductible.
4. Come the revolution, you'll be able to grow your own food big time and drag street trees to your yard and burn them in your fireplace. The ending of The Road would have been a lot different if this guy had had a tractor.
5. Cheer up, it could be a steamshovel.
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