This thread is for songs and artists that make you laugh.  I added 'on purpose' because I'm not talking about songs you laugh at because they're really bad or really stupid.  I'm talking about stuff that was meant to be funny.

First up for me is 'Talk to Ya Later' by The Tubes.  This is a song that always makes my wife and I laugh.  (I was fortunate enough to find someone with a sense of humor that's a lot like my own.)

On paper the lyrics may look nasty or misogynist, but if you know the band and hear the song you know it's all tongue-in-cheek...mostly anyway.  Musically it's a very tasty number with great punchy hooks and some nifty soloing at the end.

I met her on the Strip
It was another lost weekend
The band was too slick
And the people were twisted

So I asked her for a date
She reluctantly agreed
Then we went to my place
And she never did leave

(She won't even miss me when she's gone
And that's okay with me, I'll cry later on)

It's been six months
She hasn't shut up once
I've tried to explain
She's driving me insane

(She won't even miss me when she's gone
And that's okay with me, I'll cry later on)

Talk to ya later
Don't want to hear it again tonight
Talk to ya later
Just save it for another guy
Talk to ya later
Don't want to hear it again tonight
I'll just see you around

Get out, I'm telling you now
Do you catch my drift?
What could be plainer than this?
Nothing more to be said
Write me a letter instead
I don't mean to be cruel
But I'm finished with you

(She won't even miss me when she's gone
And that's okay with me, I'll cry later on)

Talk to ya later
Don't want to hear it again tonight
Talk to ya later
Just save it for another guy
Talk to ya later
Don't want to hear it again tonight
I'll just see you around 

Ray Davies has to be the standard-bearer when it comes to putting humor in rock music.  Right from early tracks like 'Sunny Afternoon' and 'Dead End Street' he showed a sly, satirical wit even when the subject matter was on the dark side.

I know some Kinks fans don't care for the 'Low Budget' album but I've always loved it.  I think it's got the funniest song lyrics ever.  Here are the words for the album's single '(Wish I Could Fly Like) Superman'.  Talk about self-deprecating!

Woke up this morning, started to sneeze
I had a cigarette and a cup of tea
I looked in the mirror what did I see
A nine stone weakling with knobbly knees
I did my knees bend press ups touch my toes
I had another sneeze and I blew my nose
I looked in the mirror at my pigeon chest
I had to put on my clothes because it made me depressed
Surely there must be a way
For me to change the shape I'm in
Dissatisfied is what I am
I want to be a better man

Superman Superman wish I could fly like Superman
Superman Superman I want to be like Superman
I want to be like Superman
Superman Superman wish I could fly like Superman

Woke up this morning, what did I see
A big black cloud hanging over me
I switched on the radio and nearly dropped dead
The news was so bad that I fell out of bed
There was a gas strike, oil strike, lorry strike, bread strike
Got to be a Superman to survive
Gas bills, rent bills, tax bills, phone bills
I'm such a wreck but I'm staying alive

(Look in the paper, what do I see,
Robbery, violence, insanity.)

Hey girl we've got to get out of this place
There's got to be something better than this
I need you, but I hate to see you this way
If I were Superman then we'd fly away
I'd really like to change the world
And  save it from the mess it's in
But I'm too weak, I'm so thin
I'd like to fly but I can't even swim

Superman Superman I want to fly like Superman  
Superman Superman wish I could fly like Superman  
Superman Superman wish I could fly like Superman
Superman Superman I want to be like Superman
Superman Superman I want to fly like Superman  

Would "The Lumberjack" song from Monty Python count? If not, I've always liked some of the nonsensical lyrics of They Might Be Giants.

I always liked the Tubes. Another one by them that is kind of humorous is "Turn me On."

And yes, Ray Davies was a humorist , too. "Prince of the Punks" a Kinks song that I believe was originally only released as a rarity ( finally showed up on the double live album in the late 70's) had some real funny lines.

Assuming you are not referring to novelty songs , here's a few:

Cheap Sunglasses-ZZTop
Crackin' Up - Nick Lowe
The Wall Street Shuffle- 10CC
Terminus Eldorado-Ted Nugent
Within You, Without You- Beatles (Harrison)
State of Confusion- the Kinks

Frank Zappa, while sometimes very serious, did some great ones. Stinkfoot, The Adventures of Greggary Peccary, Why Does it Hurt When I Pee?, St. Alphonso's Pancake Breakfast, and Don't Eat the Yellow Snow are a few that come to mind. And of course Valley Girl, which is funny the first few times, but got old pretty quick. I remember when it was released, a hartford area radio station played it something like 23 times in a row.

Then there's Weird Al. The videos for "Eat It" and "Fat" were pretty funny.

'Mexican Radio'- Wall of Voodoo

My first offering is a song recorded by the Monkees:

Now? You know my girl...now? You know my girl just called my up
And she woke my from my sleep. *Snores*
You should have heard the things she said
You know she hurt my feelings deep.
I'm gonna buy me a dog.
A dog?
A dog.
Why?
Why?
'Cause I need a friend now.
Babe, you need all the friends you can get!
I'm gonna buy me a dog,
My girl, my girl, don't love me no how.
Don't riun my song man. It's the only song I have.
It was ruined when it was wrote.
Uh, where's the verse?
She used to bring me my, my newspaper
You don't even know where it's at!
'Cause she knew where it was at.
She used to keep me so contented,
But I can teach a dog to do that.
I'm gonna buy me a dog.
You couldn't teach a dog to do that. You can only train elephants.
'Cause I need a friend now.
I need a friend now!
Now!
Yeah!
I'm gonna buy me a dog.
A dog. Here Rover, Fido, Spot!
Here boy! *Whistle*
My girl, my girl, don't love me no how.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, hike!
Hike!
Hike!
I was late on that one.
I just got back from Africa, you know. I was playing cards with the natives.
Zulus?
No, I usually won. Ah, ah, ah!
I wish I had a glass of water.
Why? Ya thirsty?
No. I want to see if my neck leaks.
I'd buy a raccoon, but John already has one.
Thirty-five bucks.
Where do I come in, here?
I...I'm gonna bbuy me a dog.
Dog!
A dog...hmmm!
Yeah!
'Cause I need a friend now.
Yeah, yeah!
Boop, boop, sh-bop, bop, ramalama-
I'm gonna buy me a dog.
My girl, my girl, don't love me no how...how...
How now, Brown Cow?
I think I'm gonna buy me a dog. yes sir, I'm gonna buy me a dog. If I was looking for a word to describe what I'm gonna buy, I think dog would be the word.
Would it? Would it be dog?
It would be dog.
Definately dog.
It would come springing from my lips, dog.
Springing from your...
Boing, boing, boing!
It would be springing from my...
Is that it Tommy? Can ya turn it off please?
Can somebody open the door and let us out?
They're coming to take us away! Ha ha ha!

My 2nd offering is a tune by Frank Zappa from his live album - Roxy and Elsewhere. I give you Cheepnis:


I ate a hot dog
It tasted real good
Then I watched a movie
From Hollywood

I ate a hot dog
It tasted real good
(Yum-yum yummy-yummy-yum
Yum-yum yummy-yummy-yum)
Then I watched a movie
From Hollywood
(Dum-dum dummy-dummy-dum
Dum-dum dummy-dummy-dum)

Little Miss Muffett on a squat by me, yeah
Took a turn around, I said: Can y'all see now?
The little strings on the Giant Spider?
The Zipper From The Black Lagoon?
(HA HA HA!)
The vents by the tanks where the bubbles go up?
(And the flaps on the side of the moon)

The jelly & paint on the 40 watt bulb
They use when the slime droozle off
The rumples & the wrinkles in the cardboard rock, yeah
And the canvas of the cave is too soft

The suits & the hats & the tie's too wide
And too short for the scientist man
The chemistry lady with the roll-away mind, yeah
While the monster just ate Japan

Ladies and gentlemen,
The monster,
Which the peasants in this area call FRUNOBULAX
(Apparently a very large poodle dog)
Has just been seen approaching The Power Plant
Bullets can't stop it
Rockets can't stop it
We may have to use NUCLEAR FORCE!

HERE COMES THAT POODLE DOG!
BIG AS A BLIMP WITH A RHINESTONE COLLAR
SNAPPIN' OFF THE TREES
LIKE THEY WAS BONSAI'D ORNAMENTS ON A DRY-WOBBLE LANDSCAPE
KEEP IT AWAY! DON'T LET THE POODLE BITE ME!
WE CAN'T LET IT REPRODUCE! OH!
SOMEBODY GET OUT THE PANTS!

The National Guard has formed up at the base of the mountain
And is attempting to lure the enormous poodle towards the cave
Where they hope to destroy it with napalm
A thousand of the troopers are now lined up and are calling to the monster . . .
Here Fido
Here Fido
Here Fido

GOT A GREAT BIG SLIMEY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HEAVY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG POODLE THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HAIRY THING

GOT A GREAT BIG SLIMEY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HEAVY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG POODLE THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HAIRY THING

C'mon! Everybody! Hurry! Let's go!
Somebody get the distilled water! Get the canned goods!
Get the toilet paper! You know we need it!

GO TO DA SHELTER
MY BABY, MY BABY,
GO TO DA SHELTER
GO TO DA SHELTER

GO TO DA SHELTER
MY BABY, MY BABY,
GO TO DA SHELTER
GO TO DA SHELTER

Little Miss Muffett on a squat by me,
Can ya see the little string danglin' down
Makes the legs go wobble an' the mouth flop shut, yeah
An' the HORRIBLE EYE,
An' that HORRIBLE EYE,
An' that HORRIBLE EYE
Go rollin' around

Can y'see it at all
Can y'see it from here
Can y'laugh till yer weak on yer knees
If you can't, I'm sorry 'cause that's all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
(Cheeper the better)
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
(Cheeper the better)
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
(Cheeper the better)
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
(Cheeper the better)
(Cheeper the better)
(Cheeper the better)
(Cheeper the better)

Yet another Tubes song -- "What Do You Want From Life" -- immediately springs to mind, but my fave "fun" song has to be "Rock Lobster" by the B-52's.  And just to show the timeliness of this thread for me, the "song of the week" at work this morning was "Little Red Riding Hood" by Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs ... oldie but goodie!

Speaking of Pharaohs, I'll add King Tut by Steve Martin, which I think debuted on SNL. Martin is actually a hell of a banjo player, and even won a grammy for his bluegrass record this year. Here is clip of him with Bela Fleck and others that's pretty good if you like banjo music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jn3KCZEqxc

I always liked "You never even called me by my name"

Written By Steve Goodman
As Recorded By David Allan Coe

WELL, IT WAS ALL
THAT I COULD DO TO KEEP FROM CRYIN’
SOMETIMES IT SEEMED SO USELESS TO REMAIN
BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME DARLIN’, DARLIN'
YOU NEVER EVEN CALL ME BY MY NAME

YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME WAYLON JENNINGS
AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME CHARLIE PRIDE
AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME MERLE HAGGARD/ANYMORE
EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE ON MY FIGHTIN’ SIDE

CHORUS:
AND I’LL HANG AROUND AS LONG AS YOU WILL LET ME
AND I NEVER MINDED STANDIN’ IN THE RAIN
BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME DARLIN’, DARLIN’
YOU NEVER EVEN CALLED ME BY MY NAME

WELL, I’VE HEARD MY NAME
A FEW TIMES IN YOUR PHONE BOOK (Hello, Hello)
AND I’VE SEEN IT ON SIGNS WHERE I’VE PLAYED
BUT THE ONLY TIME I KNOW
I’LL HEAR "DAVID ALLAN COE"
IS WHEN JESUS HAS HIS FINAL JUDGMENT DAY

REPEAT CHORUS

RECITATION:
WELL, A FRIEND OF MINE NAMED STEVE GOODMAN WROTE THAT SONG
AND HE TOLD ME IT WAS THE PERFECT COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
I WROTE HIM BACK A LETTER AND I TOLD HIM IT WAS NOT THE PERFECT COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG BECAUSE HE HADN’T SAID ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT MAMA,
OR TRAINS,
OR TRUCKS,
OR PRISON,
OR GETTING’ DRUNK
WELL HE SAT DOWN AND WROTE ANOTHER VERSE TO THE SONG
AND HE SENT IT TO ME,
AND AFTER READING IT,
I REALIZED THAT MY FRIEND HAD WRITTEN THE PERFECT
COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
AND I FELT OBLIGED TO INCLUDE IT ON THIS ALBUM
THE LAST VERSE GOES LIKE THIS HERE:

WELL, I WAS DRUNK THE DAY MY MOM GOT OUT OF PRISON
AND I WENT TO PICK HER UP IN THE RAIN
BUT BEFORE I COULD GET TO THE STATION IN MY PICKUP TRUCK
SHE GOT RUN NED OVER BY A DAMNED OLD TRAIN

CHORUS:
AND I’LL HANG AROUND AS LONG AS YOU WILL LET ME
AND I NEVER MINDED STANDIN’ IN THE RAIN
NO, A’ YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME DARLIN’, DARLIN’
YOU NEVER EVEN CALL ME
WELL I WONDER WHY YOU DON’T CALL ME
WHY DON’T YOU EVER CALL ME BY MY NAME

In Response to Re: Amusement in music - songs and artists that make you laugh (on purpose):


Speaking even more on Pharaohs, "Ramses the II is Dead, My Love" by the Fugs is pretty funny. Ed Sanders sings it like a country song  - Ramses the II is dead, my love, he's left from Memphis to Heaven....

I have to go with my man Warren Zevon. Is there a more hilarious opening stanza in Rock and Roll history than ...

Grandpa pissed his pants again
He don't give a damn
Brother Billy has both guns drawn
He ain't been right since Vietnam

Charlie Daniels    Uneasy Rider

I was takin' a trip out to L.A.
Toolin' along in my Cheverolet
Tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radio

Just as I crossed the Mississippi line
I heard that highway start to whine
And I knew that left rear tire was about to blow

Well the spare was flat and I got uptight
'Cause there wasn't a filling station in sight
So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim

I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
It was right in front of this little bar, a
Kind of a red-neck lookin' joint called the "Dew Drop Inn"

Well I stuffed my hair up under my hat
And told the bartender that I had a flat
And would he be kind enough to give me change for a one

Well there was one thing I was sure proud to see
There wasn't a soul in the place except for him and me and
He just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone

I called up the station down the road a ways and
He said he wasn't very busy today
And he could have somone out there in just about 10 minutes or so

He said," Now, you just stay right where yer at!"
And I didn't bother to tell the dern fool
That I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go

I ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
When some guy walked in and said, "Who owns this car
With the peace sign, the mag wheels and the four on the floor?"

Well he looked at me and I damn near died
And I decided that I'd just wait outside
So I laid a dollar on the bar and headed for the door

Just when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin
These 5 big dudes come strollin' in
With this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth

Now I was almost to the door when the biggest one
Said, "You tip your hat to this lady, son!"
And when I did, all that hair fell out from underneath

Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
In Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
Especially when there was three of them and only one of me

They all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick
And I knew I better think of something pretty quick
So I just reached out and kicked old green teeth right in the knee

Now he let out a yell that'd curl yer hair
But before he could move I grabbed me a chair
And said "Now watch him Folks cause he's a furly dangerous man!"

"Well you may not know it but this man is a spy.
He's a undercover agent for the FBI
And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan!"

He was still bent over holdin' on to his knee
But everybody else was lookin' and listenin' to me
And I laid it on thicker and heavier as I went

I said "Would you believe this man has gone as far
As tearing Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars
And he voted for George McGovern for President."

"Well he's a friend of them long haired, hippy-type, pinko f_ags!
I betchya he's even got a commie flag
Tacked up on the wall inside of his garage."

"He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys
He may look dumb but that's just a disguise
He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage"

They all started lookin' real suspicious at him and
He jumped up and said "Now just wait a minute Jim!
You know he's lyin' I been livin' here all of my life!"

"I'm a faithful follower of Brother John Birch
And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church.
And I ain't even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife!"

Then he started saying somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed
But I didn't wait around to hear the rest
I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luck

And when I hit the door I was makin' tracks
And they were just taking my car down off the jacks
So I threw the man a twenty and jumped in and fired that mother up

Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud
Of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd
Comin' out the door and headed toward me at a trot

And I guess I shoulda gone ahead and run
But somehow I just couldn't resist the fun
Of chasin' them all just once around the parking lot

Well they're headed for their car but I hit the gas and
Spun around and headed 'em off at the pass
I was slingin' gavel and puttin' a ton o' dust in the air

Well I had them all out there steppin' and fetchin'
Like their heads was on fire and their aszes was catchin'
but I figgered I'd better go ahead and split before the cops got there

When I hit the road I was really wheelin'
Had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin'
And I didn't slow down till I was almost to Arkansas

Well I think I'm gonna reroute my trip
I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped
If I went to L.A., via Omaha

Here's one that is not only amusing, but also appropriate for the season.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzGz0f8ndWY

In fact, just about everything on Life in the Foodchain is pretty funny, now that I think about it.

In Response to Re: Amusement in music - songs and artists that make you laugh (on purpose):


Good call with 10CC.  Humor was an integral part of their music, sometimes to an outrageous degree...they were sort of the Monty Python of Anglo-rock.  Here's part of the lyrics for their first single Rubber Bullets, which became a Number One in the UK:

I went to a party at the local county jail
All the cons were dancing and the band began to wail
But the guys were indiscreet, they were brawling in the street
At the local dance at the local county jail

Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
I love to hear those convicts squeal
It's a shame these slugs ain't real
But we can't have dancing at the local county jail

Well we don't understand why you called in the National Guard
When Uncle Sam is the one who belongs in the exercise yard
We all got balls and brains, but some's got balls and chains
At the local dance at the local county jail

Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Is it really such a crime
For a guy to spend his time
At the local dance at the local county jail

In Response to Re: Amusement in music - songs and artists that make you laugh (on purpose):


Warren Zevon was great.  I always chuckle at some of the lines in Werewolves.

He's the hairy-handed gent, who ran amok in Kent
Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair
You better stay away from him, he'll rip your lungs out Jim
Huh, I'd like to meet his tailor

Paul McCartney gave us a funny one, early on.

Uncle Albert /Admiral Halsey.

I use a modified line from this song to poke fun at some of the younger kids I work with , who don't bring loads of ambition to work with them ("but you haven't done a bloody thing...all day).

And another one, "Mrs. Vanderbilt" has some funny lyrics.

Ray Stevens had some pretty funny songs:
The Streak
Ahab the Arab
Guitarzan
and others

I'd also add Jim Stafford:
Spiders and snakes
My girl Bill
Wildwood wacky weed
and others

In Response to Re: Amusement in music - songs and artists that make you laugh (on purpose):


"Sushi Girl" always cracked me up.

Itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikimi always made me laugh. Beep Beep too.

In Response to Re: Amusement in music - songs and artists that make you laugh (on purpose):


I have to go with Warren Zevon, too.  Hard to find a more sardonic, cynical lyricist.  

I've always loved Mr. Bad Example.  Here you go with a few lines:

I started as an altar boy, working at the church
Learning all my holy moves, doing some research
Which led me to a cash box, labeled "Children's Fund"
I'd leave the change, and tuck the bills inside my cummerbund

I got a part-time job at my father's carpet store
Laying tackless stripping, and housewives by the score
I loaded up their furniture, and took it to Spokane
And auctioned off every last naugahyde divan

I'm very well aquainted with the seven deadly sins
I keep a busy schedule trying to fit them in
I'm proud to be a glutton, and I don't have time for sloth
I'm greedy, and I'm angry, and I don't care who I cross

I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt
I like to have a good time, and I don't care who gets hurt
I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me
I'll live to be a hundred, and go down in infamy 

Ben Folds Five - The Battle Of Who Could Care Less  (Ben just oozes irony at almost every turn; a true song-smith...)

Do you not hear me anymore?
I know it's not your thing to care
I know it's cool to be so bored
It suc#s me in when you're aloof
It suc#s me in, it suc#s, it works
I guess it's cool to be alone

Will you never rest?
Fighting the battle of who could care less
Every day you wake up late
Sometimes I wish I was that way

You think Rockford Files is cool
But there are some things
That you would change if it were up to you
So think about your masterpiece
Watch the Rockford Files and
Call to see if Paul can score some weed

Do you never rest?
Fighting the battle of who could care less
Unearned unhappiness
That's alright, I guess

I've got this great idea
Why don't we pitch it to the Franklin fu**ing Mint?
Fine pewter portraits of General Apathy and Major Boredom
Singing whatever and ever Amen

Oh well, maybe not, I'll try again
This should cheer you up for sure
See I've got your old I.D.
And you're all dressed up like the Cure

You never rest
Fighting the battle of who could care less
Unearned unhappiness
You're my hero I confess

And one more from Ben Folds Five - Underground (I also highly recommend "Rockin' The Suburbs"), because he's just that good, plus he swears a lot (which I strangely find endearing)....

I was never cool in school
I'm sure you don't remember me
And now it's been 10 years
I'm still wondering who to be
But I'd love to mix
In circles, cliques, and social coteries - that's me
Hand me my nose ring (Can we be happy?)
Show me the mosh pit (Can we be happy?)
We can be happy underground

Who's got the looks, who's got the brains
Who's got everything
I got this pain in my heart, that's all
Hey you with the long and lonely face
There's got to be something else
Let me tell ya something else
There was this girl who passed me by
She gave a smile but I was shy
I looked down, so down
Don't look there no no, go go underground
But now there's a place to go
It's the morning, it's the evening
It's everything
I click my heels and I'm there

Underground, underground
Everything's happy underground
You been kicked around
Did life bring you down here
Everything's heavy underground

We'll be decked in all black and
Slamming the pit fantastic
Officer Friendly's little boy's got a mohawk
He knows just where we're coming from
It's industrial, work it underground
Get down, get down, get down

Underground, underground
Everything's happy underground
You been kicked around
Did life bring you down here
Everything's heavy underground

In Response to Re: Amusement in music - songs and artists that make you laugh (on purpose):


You could fill an entire catalogue with funny Warren Zevon lyrics. I happened to hear this one on my way home from work this afternoon.

Hilarious.

Mr. Bad Example

I started as an altar boy, working at the church
Learning all my holy moves, doing some research
Which led me to a cash box, labeled "Children's Fund"
I'd leave the change, and tuck the bills inside my cumberbund

I got a part-time job at my father's carpet store
Laying tackless stripping, and housewives by the score
I loaded up their furniture, and took it to Spokane
And auctioned off every last naugahyde divan

I'm very well aquainted with the seven deadly sins
I keep a busy schedule trying to fit them in
I'm proud to be a glutton, and I don't have time for sloth
I'm greedy, and I'm angry, and I don't care who I cross

I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt
I like to have a good time, and I don't care who gets hurt
I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me
I'll live to be a hundred, and go down in infamy

Of course I went to law school and took a law degree
And counseled all my clients to plead insanity
Then worked in hair replacement, swindling the bald
Where very few are chosen, and fewer still are called

Then on to Monte Carlo to play chemin de fer
I threw away the fortune I made transplanting hair
I put my last few francs down on a prostitute
Who took me up to her room to perform the flag salute

Whereupon I stole her passport and her wig
And headed for the airport and the midnight flight, you dig?
And fourteen hours later I was down in Adelaide
Looking through the want ads sipping Fosters in the shade

I opened up an agency somewhere down the line
To hire aboriginals to work the opal mines
But I attached their wages and took a whopping cut
And whisked away their workman's comp and pauperized the lot

I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt
I like to have a good time, and I don't care who gets hurt
I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me
I'll live to be a hundred and go down in infamy

I bought a first class ticket on Malaysian Air
And landed in Sri Lanka none the worse for wear
I'm thinking of retiring from all my dirty deals
I'll see you in the next life, wake me up for meals