Valentines Day Sexism?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Valentines Day Sexism?

    I have just flicked through the article entitled "A stylish gift for your valentine". Out of the 13 gifts listed only 2 were for men, and inserted grudgingly at best. Are these still the 1950s where women stay at home and raise kids so can't afford to get hubby a gift? 
    Or is this the 21st century where women are equals?
    Men are every bit as deserving as women are. True, they usually don't give 2 hoots about this "hallmark holiday", and are not as vain or needy. But still, men are not to be forgotten or sidelined either.
    Ofcourse the entire concept of wasting money on tokens is itself silly. As a previous post was saying its just as much fun to make a fuss over someone by cooking for them, snuggling up together, having a nice bath together, or whatever that costs nothing. 
    Sorry for the rant, I just am not a fan of sexism. Both ways round. 

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    We're an old fashioned couple by all accounts, and we barely celebrate it from a Hallmark perspective.  I definitely don't want (and, thankfully, won't get) chocolates.  Like you say, there are free ways to celebrate Valentine's Day that isn't biased toward either person.

    As far as celebrating it traditionally with it focused on the guy getting the woman candy and flowers, I don't see it as a big deal.  It's not like the tradition is a diamond necklace for her and a Hallmark card for him (of which there are plenty to choose from for a woman to buy for a man).  Our culture is man woos woman centric.  Women have worked creating the norm of 2-income families for a long time.  If it didn't work for society to be this way regarding Valentine's Day (and the generic "man woos woman" model) it would have changed by now.  

    ETA:  Women went to work and never stopped, essentially, in the 40s and 50s, post-WWII, thereby earning their own share of the households' incomes.  Don't you think that if the Valentine's Day thing wasn't working it would have changed gradually over the last 60 years such that it were totally "equal" by now?  It's had plenty of time and opportunity.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from mothermitzi. Show mothermitzi's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    When my husband was alive, I loved getting a box of chocolates and a card (probably Hallmark) on St. Valentine's Day.  I daresay my husband appreciated it when I gave him a card, too.  Sometimes, taking things (or trying to analyze them) too seriously is a real downer. No offense meant here. It's just a holiday (of sorts) after all. Just my two cents worth.

    mothermitzi
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Of course, he loved your cards, mm - I know my DH is touched by his, too.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    IMO women remember dates. Men don't. Therefore in most households, it is the wife that send out cards and greetings. Women appreciate getting surprise gifts; men often can't care less.
    I our household, I am the one, who besides friends and my relatives, have to remind DH to call his brother, sisters etc. to wish them happy birthday or anniversary - after I have mailed them a card. Something he is totally unaware of.
    As for Valentine's Day - it is not a biggie for me. I have already decided a menu to be cooked at home - to please him. And every year I beg DH NOT to buy me roses/flowers THAT day. They are so over priced, I won't enjoy them. He shows me in so many ways during the year, that he loves me (and I hope I do him too). Just b/c Hallmark decided that Feb. 14 is a day to celebrate each other, doesn't mean everyone has to follow it. - Pingo
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    I guess I was a bit flabbergasted, especially as the "Lifestyle" section of BDC is pretty much tailored towards women, you would think the gift ideas would be about what to get your man. Its slightly odd that they are telling their target audience what they should want, rather than being helpful and giving ideas.
    I think Valentines day is really no biggie for any established couple. Only significant for new relationships. 
    @Mothermitzi, analyzing things is exactly what needs to be done unless you wish to live in the status-quo for the rest of your years. Progress will never be made unless we hold up a mirror to society and say whenever something is just a bit odd or silly. Trues me, I am glad not to have to wear top-hat and tails, although a cloak would be cool! 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Plasko,

    First you write:

    Men are every bit as deserving as women are. True, they usually don't give 2 hoots about this "hallmark holiday", and are not as vain or needy.

    Then you write:

    Sorry for the rant, I just am not a fan of sexism. Both ways round. 

    Precious.

    (I'd say calling women vain and needy is pretty darned sexist.)

    I like flowers, btw.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Agreed plasko....but, I don't wait until VD to tell the ones I love that I love them with a card and candy.  It's like Warren Zevon said "...people buy books with the anticipation that they will have the time to read them." anything can happen between today and tomorrow waiting for Feb 14th to tell the ones you love could be to late.  For the past 5,110 days and for 4,380 days I have told my children that I love them.......Hallmark marketing holiday...yes, I choose not to buy into it!

    Wink
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    In Response to Re: Valentines Day Sexism?:
    Plasko, First you write: Men are every bit as deserving as women are. True, they usually don't give 2 hoots about this "hallmark holiday", and are not as vain or needy. Then you write: Sorry for the rant, I just am not a fan of sexism. Both ways round.   Precious. (I'd say calling women vain and needy is pretty darned sexist.) I like flowers, btw.
    Posted by reindeergirl


    Well I am glad you are awake. I sure did insert this tongue-in-cheek comment to see who noticed! Well done you, I am still chuckling reading it myself. LOL. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    But what is it about receiving dead plants (flowers) that is romantic anyhow?
    I can understand choccy as it stimulates pleasure receptors in the brain. 
    But dead plants? Maybe its just the color stimulation to the eyes? Or possibly the lightly perfumed scent? 
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Plasko, it all depends on, how you look at and give "dead plants". Like I said earlier, February 14th is just a Hallmark day for me. In our household we have Valentine's Days all year. I agree with RT. One day it may be too late to tell someone, you love them.
    With your negative attitude, I would rather not receive anything from you. - Pingo
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    In Response to Re: Valentines Day Sexism?:
    Plasko, it all depends on, how you look at and give "dead plants". Like I said earlier, February 14th is just a Hallmark day for me. In our household we have Valentine's Days all year. I agree with RT. One day it may be too late to tell someone, you love them. With your negative attitude, I would rather not receive anything from you. - Pingo
    Posted by pingo


    Oh. I did not realizing questioning something was construed as attacking it, by some people. How odd (no wonder religious people don't like me!). Still though I hope not to lose my wonder of the world and will continuously question things that people may take for granted. Don't you ever wonder why the world is why it is?
    If that is interpreted as a negative attitude then thats a problem for the interpreter, not me.

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Plasko, google 'language of flowers' to see the point and meaning behind receiving "dead plants" from one's beloved. 

    I don't know about anyone else, but I was charged $6 for one simple paper card to give to my husband for V day. I would assume that the exorbitant cost of the cards would be identical for men and women.

    Also, the article you are complaining about was about what not to give for V day. Perhaps women are more creative and don't give dud gifts, therefore, there were no male stinker gifts to include in the article besides ties?  My go to gift  for guys is Omaha steaks and Beer of the Month, which always seem to go over well.  :-)  Maybe we gals just come up w/ good ideas?  ;-D

    ETA: my bad; I was thinking of an article I read on MSN about what not to give for V day.  Haven't read the BDC article.  Not sure I would take BDC's advice on what is 'stylish' in any event. 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Didn't make it all the way through the article, but, yep, I was right that I wouldn't take BDC's advice on 'what's stylish'.  DH and I have a joke about chocolate diamonds.  Whoever decided that brown stones were pretty and fashionable needs to have his/her head examined. And BDC can keep it's 'sassy and stylish' bedazzled lip pin.  Who the hell would wear that monstrosity?  Geez oh Pete!  You'd be better off w/ the super lame option of stuffed Teddy bear and a Whitman sampler  than either of those 2 gifts!! 
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Yeah, those and yellow diamonds - they look like crystalized urine.  They are so far off the color chart (one of the 4 Cs) on the "bad" end that they are super expensive?  It makes no sense.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Yeah, you could wear a yellow diamond on one hand and a chocolate on the other and tell people that you acquire your gems while rooting around the septic system.  Surprised
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    In Response to Re: Valentines Day Sexism?:
    Yeah, you could wear a yellow diamond on one hand and a chocolate on the other and tell people that you acquire your gems while rooting around the septic system. 
    Posted by ALF72


    Yeaugh! Although blue diamonds are pretty nice, and a 10th of the price of soul-less clear colorless ones. Apparently red is the rarest of the diamond colors. 
    White are pretty sassy too. Black are elegant and cheap. 
    Depends on the shade of brown for brown diamonds. "Cognac" is hit-and-miss, "champagne" just looks dull. 
    But diamonds with inclusions do have far more personality than the boring clear ones, as each is unique (hopefully like the wearer).

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    If you really want unique, you want an opal.  They are bad luck if you buy them for yourself, but good luck if given as gifts.  Unfortunately, they are too soft for everyday wear.

    I like my boring old clear diamond in my engagement ring, but you can thank DeBeers for making diamonds so popular.  I'd prefer an emerald, but again, that is a relatively soft stones not suited for daily wear.  The only rings I wear are my e-ring and wedding band. I have an engraved gold band I got in Ireland, that is beautiful, but I'm just not daily ring person.  DH got my e-ring and wedding ring, as well as a diamond pendant, but then learned that I usually forget to put on jewelry, so I guess he lucked out.  Flowers and a card are all I need. :-)  DH has informed me in no uncertain terms to never send him flowers at work. :-)
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    In Response to Re: Valentines Day Sexism?:
    If you really want unique, you want an opal.  They are bad luck if you buy them for yourself, but good luck if given as gifts.  Unfortunately, they are too soft for everyday wear. I like my boring old clear diamond in my engagement ring, but you can thank DeBeers for making diamonds so popular.  I'd prefer an emerald, but again, that is a relatively soft stones not suited for daily wear.  The only rings I wear are my e-ring and wedding band. I have an engraved gold band I got in Ireland, that is beautiful, but I'm just not daily ring person.  DH got my e-ring and wedding ring, as well as a diamond pendant, but then learned that I usually forget to put on jewelry, so I guess he lucked out.  Flowers and a card are all I need. :-)  DH has informed me in no uncertain terms to never send him flowers at work. :-)
    Posted by ALF72

    Yeah, opals are pretty hypnotic in their beauty. They are actually a gem that does something, in the sense of the amazing color shifting displays as angles change. Mega-expensive for a solid one though. Although Ethiopian Welo opals are still relatively new so a fraction of the price of Australian opals. Mexican opals look pretty gaudy though (bit like marbles), but their fire opals are OK. 
    Yeah, opals definitely have personality!

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Alf, funny.  I had always heard that Opals are bad luck unless they are your birthstone.  I am by no means a suspicious person, but I know someone who had one and has such bad luck with it (lost the stone, got it replace, then her hand was crushed, lol).  So, I stay away from them.

    Give me a clear diamond any day and I am happy!Laughing
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Entirely thanks to my DeBeers brainwashing, as well, I'm happy with my colorless, minimally flawed diamonds, too, lol.  But, I've seen the inclusions under the scope...they are unique enough for me!

    ALF, funny you should mention the emerald.  That's what my grandmother wanted and got for her engagment ring.  She loved that it wasn't a diamond because that's what "everyone else had."

    ETA:  ALF, good one about the sewar!
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    What kind of emerald, Kar?
    Like the flawed diamonds, I find that Columbian emeralds have a bit of character too (although not the oil-treated ones). 
    Brazil is a big supplier of emeralds too. 

    I think people shy away from emeralds, rubies and sapphires because they can be made in a lab, with no flaws. I have no idea why something that is identical in every way to one dug out of the ground somehow cheapens it, but apparently in peoples minds it does. Diamonds are harder to make in a lab, and so far we only have "fakes" like cubic zirconia and moissonite. Most of the only real diamonds that are man-made are for industrial use, though there are a few companies selling them for engagement rings too.

    Personally, I think that this kind of progress is cool. As long as the companies are upfront about a man-made gem over a ground-harvested gem then its a sweet deal. 

    Ladies, would it matter to you that your gem was not mined, if it was still 100% "kosher", the real deal?
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Hey, plasko,

    I remember seeing her emerald, and I know it was mined, not manufactured - very cloudy.  But, as far as what kind it was, I'm no emerald expert and she's passed away so I don't know.

    Re cz vs real diamond, I used to think like you did about it, what's the difference?  And, I had a CZ for that reason for my first marriage.  I liked it OK.  But, that was an 8 year marriage that ended because, bottom line, he had lied about who he was in order to trick me into marrying him, it worked, and then we had to live with the deception...it stunk for both of us.  Now, that has nothing to do with the fake diamond, I know.  But, when my second husband proposed, not only was the diamond natural and very high quality, he was, too.  No games, no deception.  The difference in the rings came to symbolize the difference in the men for me - one fake, one the real deal.  So, yeah, it matters to me, and I enjoy my set very much.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from plasko. Show plasko's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Thanks for the info, Kar. 
    But in a sense I agree with you. A CZ is a complete fake, different molecular structure. But what if it was a "real diamond" that just happened to be made in a lab?
    Or a "treated" diamond? e.g. they use gamma rays on imperfect natural diamonds, and some of them turn blue! Natural blues are rare so these treated ones are still the real deal, and the blue is now forever. Heating and high pressure are also very common methods of "processing" natural gems. 

    Talking of fakes, apparently the moissanite industry is going to take off as the original patent expires in 2015. So you might be getting a better class of diamond fakes in the near future! 


     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Valentines Day Sexism?

    Something about it being created under all the natural pressure of the earth from coal makes it more special to me.  And, I'd want it to be untreated for the same reason.  The earth made it what it is.  The jeweler's job, imo, is to cut it and set it so its natural beauty is unleashed, not change its color or anything else.
     
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