Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    Well, again, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we wish we could have provided a viable solution.

    I have to say I can relate to your problem.  I had downstairs neighbors in a two family apartment house that were disgusting, too.  Their cats didn't use litter boxes, they just did their business all over the yard.  They had trash around, too.  Of course, it wasn't my property getting damaged, but it smelled and was embarrassing to have guests over to our place.  And, the landlord was their mom and my boss.  So, guess how much leverage we had.

    So, be sure to let us know if anything changes.  Maybe you can get some wood protectant from Home Depot or something.

    ~kar
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ETE13180. Show ETE13180's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    I understand your frustration.  I live in a beautiful area of Framingham with about a 1/2 acre lot surrounded by trees.  Very peaceful.  My neighbor has an at home day care.  She has all of the bright color toys, houses, cars, mats etc that I have to live with for the time being.  I want to offer to her to help her organize to make it look nicer :)  Kill them with kindness is what I always say.  I know its not your responsibility to clean her yard, but maybe if you befriend her for a couple of weeks, then see if there is anything you can help her with.  If that doesn't work call the town.  They may be able to give her a citation for the trash.  Good luck!

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ennui. Show ennui's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?:
    [QUOTE]I understand your frustration.  I live in a beautiful area of Framingham with about a 1/2 acre lot surrounded by trees.  Very peaceful.  My neighbor has an at home day care.  She has all of the bright color toys, houses, cars, mats etc that I have to live with for the time being.  I want to offer to her to help her organize to make it look nicer :)  Kill them with kindness is what I always say.  I know its not your responsibility to clean her yard, but maybe if you befriend her for a couple of weeks, then see if there is anything you can help her with.  If that doesn't work call the town.  They may be able to give her a citation for the trash.  Good luck!
    Posted by ETE13180[/QUOTE]

    Want to trade? Think I might prefer cheerful toys and such to trash in ugly garbage bags and boxes and which are unsightly and dirty.  Of course your situation is as bothersome to you as mine is to me so I do feel your pain.  I am hoping with last night and today's torrential  downpours, it might have washed some of the trash out of their yard and into the street forcing them to  pick it up and THROW IT OUT!  I can assume you have checked into whether your neighbor is zoned for a day care business, yes?    Now I know why gated communities are looking better and better to people.  These type situations would not be tolerated.  My town has no ordinance against trash build-up.   I was just made aware there is a recycling program for construction debris so maybe I will leave a note in their mailbox letting them know when and where they can drop it off. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from samanthastevens. Show samanthastevens's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    ennui - My neighbors fought over the placement of 3 evergreen trees.  The owner loved them, the neighbor had mold growing on her house from the shade they caused.  The neighbor discovered that the trees had substantially grown onto her property.  She send a note to the "owner" that she had 30 days to trim the trees or she would.  The owner knew that cutting back the branches would kill the tree, and the neighbor loved the idea that she had upset the tree owner.  the owner spent thousands of dollars to have heavy equipment MOVE the trees so they would be safe.  The neighbors no longer speak or look out for each other.

    I think you are missing your neighbor's point of view.  They own the land right up to your fence.  There isn't any ordinance against keeping construction debris in their yard.  They aren't breaking the law.  You keep badgering them about something you don't have a right to complain about.  I would suggest that you move your fence back into your property.  Then you can tell them not to put their trash on your property that abuts the fence.   We have a bright orange house in our neighborhood, too, and it sure is ugly.  I don't have the right to "improve" my view by telling them to paint it.  Honestly, if I were your neighbor, I wouldn't move the trash out of spite - you've overstepped by fixating on this.  Move your fence back.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    Samantha,
    How do you know that ennui's fence is not on her very own property? According to code, one cannot place a fence directly on the property line - it has to be at least one foot away. So, if the code has been followed - which I tend to believe it has, since you need a town permit to raise it, and the fence is still standing there - her neighbor is indeed placing her trash on ennui's property.
    Your comparison with the 3 evergreen trees is a poor one compared with collecting bags of unsightly garbage.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from samanthastevens. Show samanthastevens's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    By her own admission.  If you don't survey, then people place fences on the line all the time.  I don't know anyone who gets a permit to put up a stockade fence around here - maybe in your town, but that's not the case everywhere.  Ask ennui if she has a permit or owns the foot of property.  I take from her responses (I read them all) that the trash is on the neighbor's property leaning on the property line (fence).  By her own words, if it were on her property it would have been removed long ago. 

    My comparison was for all of you who are hung up on only your rights - don't be so anal about things you cannot change.  Two good friends in my neighborhood no longer speak because of mold on a house.  Ennui is in the same position.  And she is in danger of harrassing a neighbor that she legally has no right to harrass.  If she does go on their property and move the trash, she is tresspassing.  If the fence is truly on the property line, she is tresspassing to maintain it.  I suggest that the neighbor is within her rights to demand that the fence be moved back from the property line.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    At this point I would just go and move the bags of junk away from your fence. If a foot or two is all that is necessary, move them those two feet yoruself. If you feel you have no legal recourse and that you can't do anything to make her move them, move them yourself.
    If she kicks up a fuss that you moved them, tell her again that you are protecting your investment in the fence and to bring the bags to the junk yard or call a service to haul them away.
    Or better yet, bring them to the junk yard yourself. No one's going to file a stolen property report over bags of trash.
    Whatever trouble you might go through to move them or get rid of them yourself is far less than the trouble it would be to replace the fence.
    Do not resign yourself to the role of victim. Be proactive. Unless your neighbor is a dear friend you have nothing to lose except those bags of trash ruining your fence.

    Samantha's story is hardly relevant as the neighbors she speaks of were friends. If I found out a tree I liked was damaging a neighbor's home I would have it either cut down or moved and not give it a second thought. Mold is as bad as termites and I wouldn't make someone put up with it just because I thought my tree looked pretty, especially when that person is my friend.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from ennui. Show ennui's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?:
    [QUOTE]ennui - My neighbors fought over the placement of 3 evergreen trees.  The owner loved them, the neighbor had mold growing on her house from the shade they caused.  The neighbor discovered that the trees had substantially grown onto her property.  She send a note to the "owner" that she had 30 days to trim the trees or she would.  The owner knew that cutting back the branches would kill the tree, and the neighbor loved the idea that she had upset the tree owner.  the owner spent thousands of dollars to have heavy equipment MOVE the trees so they would be safe.  The neighbors no longer speak or look out for each other. I think you are missing your neighbor's point of view.  They own the land right up to your fence.  There isn't any ordinance against keeping construction debris in their yard.  They aren't breaking the law.  You keep badgering them about something you don't have a right to complain about.  I would suggest that you move your fence back into your property.  Then you can tell them not to put their trash on your property that abuts the fence.   We have a bright orange house in our neighborhood, too, and it sure is ugly.  I don't have the right to "improve" my view by telling them to paint it.  Honestly, if I were your neighbor, I wouldn't move the trash out of spite - you've overstepped by fixating on this.  Move your fence back.
    Posted by samanthastevens[/QUOTE]

    Samanthastevens (apt name).  If you read all the threads you would know that I am doing everything in my power to not upset the neighbor and have only spoken to her once because I prefer to live in harmony with my neighbors.  You would also learn that I purchased the home with the property line already surveyed and an existing fence that I replaced due to the original collapsing into my driveway.  I don't really care if the neighbors have to dig their way out of the house to get past the garbage heap, I only care that it is all resting against a new fence that cost me $1,200 to replace and could be rotting out from all the wet trash bags and various debris. Your tone was unnecessary as were your assumptions.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from ennui. Show ennui's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?:
    [QUOTE]At this point I would just go and move the bags of junk away from your fence. If a foot or two is all that is necessary, move them those two feet yoruself. If you feel you have no legal recourse and that you can't do anything to make her move them, move them yourself. If she kicks up a fuss that you moved them, tell her again that you are protecting your investment in the fence and to bring the bags to the junk yard or call a service to haul them away. Or better yet, bring them to the junk yard yourself. No one's going to file a stolen property report over bags of trash. Whatever trouble you might go through to move them or get rid of them yourself is far less than the trouble it would be to replace the fence. Do not resign yourself to the role of victim. Be proactive. Unless your neighbor is a dear friend you have nothing to lose
    except those bags of trash ruining your fence. Samantha's story is hardly relevant as the neighbors she speaks of were friends. If I found out a tree I liked was damaging a neighbor's home I would have it either cut down or moved and not give it a second thought. Mold is as bad as termites and I wouldn't make someone put up with it just because I thought my tree looked pretty, especially when that person is my friend.
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    Hello pinkkittie:

    I also had a tree problem but I called the landlord on whose property it resides and as he deosn't care if it falls onto my house, I paid out-of-pocket to have the tree trimmed as to what was hanging over my property line.  End of problem until it grows again.   Some people, eh???
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    The neighbor's point of view?

    Ennui, some people play devil's advocate just for the sake of doing it because they think it makes them good people.  What it makes them is mindless, IMO, just spouting off trying to sound legalistic and "correct."  It's not worth arguing with them about it; you'll lose even with logic and the law on your side. 

    Don't worry about samantha.  Poor thing is probably frustrated with how people just can't see the world as correctly as she thinks she can.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from samanthastevens. Show samanthastevens's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    Silly ladies.  You all think the world spins your way.  If the fence is on the property line, then the trash is not in ennui's yard.  If she doesn't like the stuff touching her fence, she needs to move her fence, pure and simple.  I'm sorry the world isn't all manicured and pretty, but the neighbor has the right to keep her yard any way she sees fit.  If the fence (wow, $1200) is so important, do what my neighbor did and move the darn thing into your own property.  Again, if you go over there and start moving trash you are tresspassing. 

    Frustrated?  I'm not the one on these boards day in and out whining....

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from ennui. Show ennui's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?:
    [QUOTE]The neighbor 's point of view? Ennui, some people play devil's advocate just for the sake of doing it because they think it makes them good people.  What it makes them is mindless, IMO, just spouting off trying to sound legalistic and "correct."  It's not worth arguing with them about it; you'll lose even with logic and the law on your side.  Don't worry about samantha.  Poor thing is probably frustrated with how people just can't see the world as correctly as she thinks she can.
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    There is an anarchist among us!  I'm not taking much of what SS said at face value; if she had truly read the threads,she would know I came to the board for advice because I want to live in accord with my neighbor, not start a territory war.  All was going well and friendly and peaceable until....so I know it isn't me or you or all the others who were helpful in a proactive way.   Well, we sure know that fences are made for 2 reasons, don't we!  Thanks for the pep talk!

    Peace!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from ennui. Show ennui's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?:
    [QUOTE]Silly ladies.  You all think the world spins your way.  If the fence is on the property line, then the trash is not in ennui's yard.  If she doesn't like the stuff touching her fence, she needs to move her fence, pure and simple.  I'm sorry the world isn't all manicured and pretty, but the neighbor has the right to keep her yard any way she sees fit.  If the fence (wow, $1200) is so important, do what my neighbor did and move the darn thing into your own property.  Again, if you go over there and start moving trash you are tresspassing.  Frustrated?  I'm not the one on these boards day in and out whining....
    Posted by samanthastevens[/QUOTE]

     Tell you what, when my fence rots and since you think $1200 is chump change, I'll send you the bill.  Better run along, I think your broom is double parked.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    Ennui,
    Agree with Kar. Samantha sounds like she IS your next door neighbor with the trash. Just ignore her. We all know, you have a terrible problem on hand. And it truly beats me, that nothing can be done about it. Still hoping it can be solved in some way.
    Best to you my dear - Pingo
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from ennui. Show ennui's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?:
    [QUOTE]Ennui, Agree with Kar. Samantha sounds like she IS your next door neighbor with the trash. Just ignore her. We all know, you have a terrible problem on hand. And it truly beats me, that nothing can be done about it. Still hoping it can be solved in some way. Best to you my dear - Pingo
    Posted by pingo[/QUOTE]

    Hi pingo,
    Awww, thanks. Funny how people who troll the boards looking to stir it up are the first to accuse the posters of having nothing better to do - hello....?   Guess SS didn't get it that I do not wish to create friction. Made up my mind to make one more approach by giving her a calendar of when the town holds it's metal recycling, etc days, then ask her if she needs a hand getting it down there and I'll offer to help (enable) ha ha.  Will be back to report my success, hopefully. I am confident this will get resolved amicably.  Enjoy the remainder of the week.  
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    Thanks ennui! And I am crossing all my fingers (and toes) for you, that your approach will have a good outcome. Please keep us posted. - P
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from samanthastevens. Show samanthastevens's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    I'm trying to help you see it from her perspective.  I think that approach would upset a lot of people.  Honestly, you have no business telling her to clean up her yard.  She may not appreciate your priorities as her priorities.  I know if someone came over to my house and said they would "help me improve it, here are the recycling dates" I would be pretty pissed.  (So, maybe I am her next door neighbor, Pingo.)  I admit it would be upsetting to see trash piled on my fence, but I would make sure I knew where the property line is and move my fence within my property lines.  It's really your only legal recourse.

    As for trolling, look around, I rarely comment on any of these boards, but interestingly the former "Bridal board" women take offense to what I say.  I guess we don't think alike.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from ennui. Show ennui's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?:
    [QUOTE]I'm trying to help you see it from her perspective.  I think that approach would upset a lot of people.  Honestly, you have no business telling her to clean up her yard.  She may not appreciate your priorities as her priorities.  I know if someone came over to my house and said they would "help me improve it, here are the recycling dates" I would be pretty pissed.  (So, maybe I am her next door neighbor, Pingo.)  I admit it would be upsetting to see trash piled on my fence, but I would make sure I knew where the property line is and move my fence within my property lines.  It's really your only legal recourse. As for trolling, look around, I rarely comment on any of these boards, but interestingly the former "Bridal board" women take offense to what I say.  I guess we don't think alike.
    Posted by samanthastevens[/QUOTE]

    Oh Samantha, if only you could come over here, twitch your little nose and make it all go away!  One more time and I'm done explaining:  THE PROPERTY LINE WAS SURVEYED BEFORE I BOUGHT THE HOUSE AND THE FENCE WAS MOVED ACCORDINGLY.  What part of this don't you get?" I am trying very hard to be nice and handle this in a friendly manner and NOT insult the neighbors otherwise I'd have marched over, told her she's a slob and to move the trash a few feet away from my fence to keep it from rotting out.  That's all I care about, not the trash or how big the pile is becoming. The fence is less than 2 years old and  not about to replace it any time soon simply because people do not have respect or regard for another's property.   If I saw it from their perspective, what would that be? "Gee, I know the trash keeps piling up and I should just drag it 4 feet over to the curb on trash day but I'm too lazy"?  "Gosh darn it, that trash needs to go but now there is sooo much I am overwhelmed by it all"?  "OMG, I am being sued because the mailman tripped over the garbage when delivering the mail."  They can grow acres of weeds; I don't care what her yard, house, driveway or deck looks like.  Just move the trash away from the fence.  Instead of thinking like the other person here, try putting yourself in my predicament.  I happen to be a very good neighbor who minds my business, take in mail and packages for neighbors when they are away, call if they are sick to see if there is anything I can do, feed the neighborhood strays, etc.  We all sort of do good deeds for each other without getting into each others personal affairs.  You come across as very judgmental without knowing me or all the circumstances.  Perhaps for this reason "bridal board" posters do take offense to your input.  At some point you might want to ask yourself this; "Is it everyone else or is it me"?   Not everything is in black and white. I  sort of live in the gray areas and in fairness, do try and see both sides which is why this simple little issue is becoming so problematic for me.  That's all I'm saying.  I would not have responded as rudely if you had not thrown down the gauntlet in the first place.  Think before you speak (or post), SS.  It is true what they say; you do catch more flies with honey.
    "Enn"
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    My dear ennui,
    So sorry, you had to be battered by Samantha. We all know you are having a bad problem. Apparently this Samantha must be living in an apartment or condo, where everything is taken care of. She never had to deal with neighbor "stuff".
    We have suggested all the resources, we could think of. Unfortunately to no avail. Hopefully your neighbor will get sick of looking at the trash and haul it away some day. In the meantime, as hard as it might be right now for you - keep smiling and be the good neighbor. It will pay off in the long run. Promise! Best to you my dear - Pingo

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from ennui. Show ennui's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    Dear Pingo,

    Not to worry, I'm fairly thick skinned - better than the alternative, I suppose.  It is as though this quandary became that little thread dangling from a seam and you pull and pull and it keeps unraveling and you know you should go for the scissors but you want to see where and when it ends and before you know it, you've split the seam completely.  Such a small and insignificant problem in the vast scheme of things. I came for advice, and such wise and diverse advice I got and in the journey feel as though I found some fine people who genuinely care. I never meant to make this anyone else's problem.  Maybe  I should be grateful the neighbors, messy thought they may be, are decent and law abiding citizens.  Fences can be mended or replaced (though not at my expense next time - ha ha) but finding out there exists moral, good people in the world is the far greater reward.  Peace to you and all who chimed in, negatively or positively.  If there is an outcome, I will post the results if for no other reason than good old fashioned closure!     Wink


     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    Why defend yourself?  It's not worth all the keystrokes and increase in your blood pressure to convince a stranger you're doing the right thing, is it?

    :)

    ~kar
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from samanthastevens. Show samanthastevens's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors? : Oh Samantha, if only you could come over here, twitch your little nose and make it all go away!  One more time and I'm done explaining:  THE PROPERTY LINE WAS SURVEYED BEFORE I BOUGHT THE HOUSE AND THE FENCE WAS MOVED ACCORDINGLY.  What part of this don't you get?" I am trying very hard to be nice and handle this in a friendly manner and NOT insult the neighbors otherwise I'd have marched over, told her she's a slob and to move the trash a few feet away from my fence to keep it from rotting out.  That's all I care about, not the trash or how big the pile is becoming. The fence is less than 2 years old and  not about to replace it any time soon simply because people do not have respect or regard for another's property.   If I saw it from their perspective, what would that be? "Gee, I know the trash keeps piling up and I should just drag it 4 feet over to the curb on trash day but I'm too lazy"?  "Gosh darn it, that trash needs to go but now there is sooo much I am overwhelmed by it all"?  "OMG, I am being sued because the mailman tripped over the garbage when delivering the mail."  They can grow acres of weeds; I don't care what her yard, house, driveway or deck looks like.  Just move the trash away from the fence.  Instead of thinking like the other person here, try putting yourself in my predicament.  I happen to be a very good neighbor who minds my business, take in mail and packages for neighbors when they are away, call if they are sick to see if there is anything I can do, feed the neighborhood strays, etc.  We all sort of do good deeds for each other without getting into each others personal affairs.  You come across as very judgmental without knowing me or all the circumstances.  Perhaps for this reason "bridal board" posters do take offense to your input.  At some point you might want to ask yourself this; "Is it everyone else or is it me"?   Not everything is in black and white. I  sort of live in the gray areas and in fairness, do try and see both sides which is why this simple little issue is becoming so problematic for me.  That's all I'm saying.  I would not have responded as rudely if you had not thrown down the gauntlet in the first place.  Think before you speak (or post), SS.  It is true what they say; you do catch more flies with honey. "Enn"
    Posted by ennui[/QUOTE]

    You are very judgemental of your neighbor - you don't know why she hasn't gotten rid of it - and if you look at this from HER perspective you come across as meddlesome, maybe you don't like it, but if you keep telling her how to get rid of her trash you look like the neighborhood police.

    okay - I guess I am dense - is the fence on the property line or is it a foot within your property?  (You haven't made that clear in any of your posts.  People cannot help you if you will not be clear.)  If it is a foot within your property all you need to do is send a letter from a lawyer and she will have to move the trash.  That is no meaner than offering to give her the recycling schedule.  It's the same as telling her how to wash her face.  Rude.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from ennui. Show ennui's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?:
    [QUOTE]Why defend yourself?  It's not worth all the keystrokes and increase in your blood pressure to convince a stranger you're doing the right thing, is it? :) ~kar
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE

    You're right. I'm beating a dead horse, aren't I!
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from ennui. Show ennui's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors? : You are very judgemental of your neighbor - you don't know why she hasn't gotten rid of it - and if you look at this from HER perspective you come across as meddlesome, maybe you don't like it, but if you keep telling her how to get rid of her trash you look like the neighborhood police. okay - I guess I am dense - is the fence on the property line or is it a foot within your property?  (You haven't made that clear in any of your posts.  People cannot help you if you will not be clear.)  If it is a foot within your property all you need to do is send a letter from a lawyer and she will have to move the trash.  That is no meaner than offering to give her the recycling schedule.  It's the same as telling her how to wash her face.  Rude.
    Posted by samanthastevens[/QUOTE]

    You want rude?    GO AWAY.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Good Fences = Good Neighbors?

    Ennui,
    The best way to get rid of Samantha is not to respond to her posts. - P
     

Share