"and guest" etiquette

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    DH and I did outer envelopes only and we wrote "and guest" if we didn't know the SO's name. As long as the adressee's name clearly comes first,t hen there shouldn't be issues with the post office.

    I referred to this etiquette note on a invitation site.

    http://www.einvite.com/info/wedding-etiquette/addressing-envelope/?Cobrand=eInvite&Site=eInvite&vk=1777211146

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    I would just include a note or give your single friends a call and let them know they can bring a guest.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    You can tuck a small note inside saying, feel free to bring a date!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    .
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    Have the envelope addressed only to the friend and the actual invite say "The pleasure of the company of Bobby and guest yadda yadda..."
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    the rule is due to the fact that singles without serious signficant others are generally not permitted to bring dates. So, it stands to reason that the proper etiquette in that case is to find out their names and not put "and guest."

    However, if you want to do the non-traditional thing of having singles there with whomever they may want to bring at the time, go ahead and put "and guest." No one will care, and it's the easiest way to tell them. They won't be offended you didn't get the actual name if you truly mean "and whomever you feel like bringing."
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from wendy98. Show wendy98's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    We addressed ours to just the individual person on the outter envelope and on the belly band. We included a hand written note that stated they were welcome to bring a date just includ their name and meal preference on the RSVP card. I think only two people took us up on the offer to bring someone.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    You can do whatever you darn well please. Screw ettiquette.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    Sorry...little grumpy today. But i meant it. :-)
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Prill. Show Prill's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    Thank you AM! Okay, I will be honest, I don't even know what an inner envelope is? Doesn't the invite just get sent in an envelope, which by default is an outer envelope because it's, umm, on the outside?
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from katie1980. Show katie1980's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    AMS - I am right there with you! Who cares - if you aren't doing inner envelopes put the "and guest" outside. (and there on the mood thing too!) UGGG

    To be honest (and GASP as I normally follow all the etiquette schmuck.... ) no one will know. Unless they have just had a wedding, and then they won't care!

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    I'm not doing inners, I'm using And Guest, I'm also using labels. :-) I'm a bad bad bride.

    Katie I am liking this side of you!! hahaa.

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    [Quote]Thank you AM! Okay, I will be honest, I don't even know what an inner envelope is? Doesn't the invite just get sent in an envelope, which by default is an outer envelope because it's, umm, on the outside?[/Quote]

    Some people choose to put their invitation- envelope and all- into another envelope so that the mailing process doesn't leave any marks ont he actual invitation.
    It's not necessary, but your invite will be pristine and pretty when opened.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    [Quote]
    AMS - I am right there with you! Who cares - if you aren't doing inner envelopes put the "and guest" outside. (and there on the mood thing too!) UGGG

    To be honest (and GASP as I normally follow all the etiquette schmuck.... ) no one will know. Unless they have just had a wedding, and then they won't care!
    [/Quote]

    As I cited in my post, etiquette is changing on this one. You used to exclude "and guest" because it wasn't proper to allow single guests to bring dates (scandalous!). Nowadays, include their name if you can easily get the information, if you can't "and guest" is just fine.

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from LilSprout. Show LilSprout's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    This is definitely one of my biggest pet peeves. The ONE AND ONLY time I think it would be even moderately appropriate to write "and guest" on an envelope is if, 6-8 weeks prior to your wedding (i.e. when you are sending the invitations out), your friend is single and you want to let them know they can bring a rando along.

    However, as a general rule, the two words "and guest" should never be written on an envelope together. If your friend is even casually dating someone and you know he/she wants to bring him/her, PLEASE ask for his/her name and actually write it on the envelope. (And then cross your fingers they don't break up in the next 8 weeks. If in the event they do, she comes alone. Big whoop.)

    "AND GUEST" IS THE WORRRRRST! I may add that sentence to my email's signature. Uggghhh.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from LilSprout. Show LilSprout's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    [Quote]Thank you AM! Okay, I will be honest, I don't even know what an inner envelope is? Doesn't the invite just get sent in an envelope, which by default is an outer envelope because it's, umm, on the outside?[/Quote]
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from LilSprout. Show LilSprout's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    Prill - Formal invitations have two envelopes: the outer envelope has the invitees' names and address on it and it contains the invite which is secured within an inner envelope. The inner envelope has just the invitees' names on it.

    Back in the "olden days" when mail parcels were hand-delivered probably via horse, they'd get dirty on the way to the recipient. When the butler opened the door, he'd discard the messy outer envelope and present the clean envelope to the recipient.

    Today, more casual wedding invitations have just the card and the one envelope and more formal ones utilize both envelopes.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    Yes, make every effort to get the name first, but if they say "I really don't know who I'll bring." then there's slim chance fo anyoen being offended.
    [Quote]This is definitely one of my biggest pet peeves. The ONE AND ONLY time I think it would be even moderately appropriate to write "and guest" on an envelope is if, 6-8 weeks prior to your wedding (i.e. when you are sending the invitations out), your friend is single and you want to let them know they can bring a rando along.

    However, as a general rule, the two words "and guest" should never be written on an envelope together. If your friend is even casually dating someone and you know he/she wants to bring him/her, PLEASE ask for his/her name and actually write it on the envelope. (And then cross your fingers they don't break up in the next 8 weeks. If in the event they do, she comes alone. Big whoop.)

    "AND GUEST" IS THE WORRRRRST! I may add that sentence to my email's signature. Uggghhh.[/Quote]
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    You used to exclude "and guest" because it wasn't proper to allow single guests to bring dates (scandalous!). Nowadays, include their name if you can easily get the information, if you can't "and guest" is just fine.

    It isn't that it isn't proper to bring a date. The reason "and guest" is often frowned upon is that it is assumed the hosts know the names of those they invite to their formal event. If you want your cousin to bring her boyfriend, it is polite for you to know the boyfriend's name and invite him by name.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    [Quote]This is definitely one of my biggest pet peeves. The ONE AND ONLY time I think it would be even moderately appropriate to write "and guest" on an envelope is if, 6-8 weeks prior to your wedding (i.e. when you are sending the invitations out), your friend is single and you want to let them know they can bring a rando along.

    However, as a general rule, the two words "and guest" should never be written on an envelope together. If your friend is even casually dating someone and you know he/she wants to bring him/her, PLEASE ask for his/her name and actually write it on the envelope. (And then cross your fingers they don't break up in the next 8 weeks. If in the event they do, she comes alone. Big whoop.)

    "AND GUEST" IS THE WORRRRRST! I may add that sentence to my email's signature. Uggghhh.[/Quote]


    There are so many other important things to worry about. Is it really that big of a deal? I tend to think it isn't. At all. Like...I'm kind of shocked that you are so passionate about it. To each her own, of course. But there are worse things that can be done.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    [Quote]You used to exclude "and guest" because it wasn't proper to allow single guests to bring dates (scandalous!). Nowadays, include their name if you can easily get the information, if you can't "and guest" is just fine.

    It isn't that it isn't proper to bring a date. The reason "and guest" is often frowned upon is that it is assumed the hosts know the names of those they invite to their formal event. If you want your cousin to bring her boyfriend, it is polite for you to know the boyfriend's name and invite him by name.
    [/Quote]


    Yes, of course. I will clarify for myself at least that for those people on my list who I know have a SO they will be bringing of course I have or will find out their names if I don't know them already. However, I have single out-of-towners who won't know anyone, and may or may not want a travel buddy and we are giving them the guest option. I am putting & Guest on t heir envelope (and yep I put it on their STD also just so they can plan ahead) b/c they probably don't know at this point who they would bring either.

    I think Etiquette on this issue is case by case.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    [Quote]You used to exclude "and guest" because it wasn't proper to allow single guests to bring dates (scandalous!). Nowadays, include their name if you can easily get the information, if you can't "and guest" is just fine.

    It isn't that it isn't proper to bring a date. The reason "and guest" is often frowned upon is that it is assumed the hosts know the names of those they invite to their formal event. If you want your cousin to bring her boyfriend, it is polite for you to know the boyfriend's name and invite him by name.
    [/Quote]

    That's why I said "easily get the information", as one can simply call their cousin to get their SO's full name. I knew everyone's SO's first name, but rarely the last name, so I had to make some phone calls.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from katie1980. Show katie1980's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    I understand the where and why "and guest" is frowned upon but whateve...
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from katie1980. Show katie1980's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    WHY DID THAT JUST POST!!

    ANYWAY what I was going ot say, my Aunt is making me NOT include an "and guest" or the dates name on my cousin's invite as they don't want her there!

    She told my mom, please do NOT include an "and guest" or her name on the invitation! Funny, huh?

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    "and guest" etiquette

    If you know the guest's name, put it on the envelope. if you dont know who they will bring, write and guest. you will know the name to put on the place card if they choose to bring a guest because it will be written in on the rsvp card.

    if you were single and invited to someone's wedding, some of you would really be offended that the couple didnt call you to see who you might want to bring so they can put it on the envelope? god some of you have too much time on your hands. i can see if you have been in a relationship for awhile and the couple knows that and knows the SO's name, then yes, it should be on the envelope. but otherwise, give me a break. be happy you are invited to the wedding, throw your envelope in the trash, and move on already.

     

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