Best way to save money on a wedding

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from helphelpImbeingrepressed. Show helphelpImbeingrepressed's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Nasochkas - is this your first time on a message board?

    Your serial posting is both annoying and confusing.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from helphelpImbeingrepressed. Show helphelpImbeingrepressed's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    A donation "in lieu of" a favor is not a favor.

    Donate if you want, but don't pretend it's a favor.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from foolforfood. Show foolforfood's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Yes, I also find rehearsal dinners quite annoying and pointless. I feel like it's just a way to get the groom's family to pony up and share in the wedding expenses.

    I hear horror stories about the RDs being as fancy, or even fancier than the actual reception b/c of the FILs' hubris.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from donna828. Show donna828's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Don't be so sure that Upstate NY is that much cheaper... I'm from that area and my parents insisted it would be cheaper than anything around Boston and that wasn't the case... Cooperstown was significantly more expensive than Salem. In a bigger city with many, MANY more options out there you can do things for less money and better quality.

    The bottom line with wedding guest is that they are guests who have been asked to grace you with their presence... asking them to pay for anything beyond their expenses is tacky. If you have to serve alcohol, cut corners elsewhere or find a venue that accommodates what you want. You might not care about shelling out $20 for drinks, but plenty of others do and you shouldn't have your GUESTS hit the ATM before the reception.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from gabriellemarie. Show gabriellemarie's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    daytime receptions! Or Fri or Sunday nights on a holiday weekend. I am paying a fraction of the cost of the current going rate for my sat daytime wedding. I originally called and asked for the Sat daytme rate for March - knowing it would be the lowest possible - was given a low minimum, and then asked what other days/ months they can honor that rate. it works!!

    but honestly this board is what helped me save the most $$. My vendors are awesome,and I think all of them except my photographer are from referrals from bdc.

    and although it is now painful to come here and post, i'm three weeks away so i do need some help and I'm hoping for a miracle and the old format will suddenly reappear.

    maybe us girls are just resistant to change, but really if SO many of us hate the new format, there has GOT to be a problem, right??
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from burkster4. Show burkster4's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Barter for services, what do you have to offer the photographer that in turn he will take your pictures. You don't want you uncle taking pictures and getting his finger in the way, plus how will he get drunk and enjoy the wedding? There was a wedding on the vineyard last year where the groom owned a publication that circulates on the vineyard. He bartered for everything in return for free advertising in his publicatioin.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from maggierep. Show maggierep's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    143 people attended saturday night wedding open bar all night $3500 Barkers Tavern.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from maggierep. Show maggierep's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Sat. nite wedding, 143 people , open bar at Barkers tavern $3500
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from circles82. Show circles82's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    * Bought MOH's dress on clearance from J. Crew - no other bridesmaids - 100% silk - $45 and re-wearable.
    * Flower girl (our daughter) wearing a vintage dress from the 1950's - $40
    * Veil - vintage - found in antique store basement - $20
    * Dress - shopped around. Spent $700 (still more than I was planning, but I love it - discontinued)
    * Tux - 1950's vintage tux found at monstervintage.com for $100.
    * Shoes - zappos.com - can wear for work/church until the soles wear out
    * Reception is at a restaurant - no room fee
    * Friday night
    * Everyone is OOT, so small guest list in attendance
    *Invitations and Save the Dates- Costco.com during a sale - 35% off E-invite - have gotten quite a few compliments - looks like I spent hundreds
    * Organist only - no additional musicians
    * No programs
    * No flowers at church or aisle runners or decoration of any kind - getting married at the Old North and didn't feel it needed anything more than us and our close family and friends.
    * Reception decorations done by me - vases etc ordered in bulk from save-on-crafts.com
    * Using restaurant's linens
    * Food is very reasonably priced. Only spending $24 a head for the most expensive offering with fish and veal. (substituting chicken for the veal, but also getting the lobster ravioli - so the cost evened out) - includes salad, 2 appetizers, coffee, and a cannoli.
    * Flowers ordered in bulk from Costco.com and arranged by me
    * Rented a few condos around the city for family to stay in - cheaper than room rates and more comfortable than a hotel.
    * No car rentals - taking the T to the wedding in all our finery
    * Rehearsal dinner - bridal party and parents only - informal dinner
    * Liquor - champagne toast + wine on the tables. (2 varieties) Dessert liquours with cake. No one is driving.
    * Favors - handmade by me - drawstring bags with goodies from local bakery to be reused for travel bags/jewelry bags
    * Bridal party gifts - bought MOH her dress & a 1920's compact since she's into makeup (not sure what the FI has decided on yet)
    * Photographer - family! making a list for each person with just a few things to make sure to get. That way, they are only responsible for the photos for a short time each.
    * No DJ - bringing the laptop with the iTunes plugging into rental speaker
    * Cake - smaller pieces planned as dinner comes with a cannoli and coffee anyhow
    * Honeymoon - headed to Foxboro for standing room tickets at the Patriots game the following Sunday (taking the train), Red Sox game on Monday paid for by best man as wedding gift.
    * Makeup - being done by MOH
    * Hair - getting a blow out done then styling myself (my hair tends to frizz so that's my compromise - FI wants me to have the whole thing done)
    * Best man has hair like Frodo and FI wants it to look more like Larry from Perfect Strangers - BM agreed to a hair cut since it's long overdue anyway (he had hobbit hair for his own wedding in Jan) so they are going to Back Bay Hair Designs on Newbury for a re-styling for him. (Just imagine the call I had to make yesterday explaining that one. I thought the stylist would never stop laughing, not that I could either.) Cost shouldn't exceed $100 for both of them.

    I'm sure I've left off some things, but that's pretty much it in a nutshell. Could have cut a few more corners perhaps, but I only plan on doing it once and I didn't want to regret not having a great reception - people remember if the food was good, if the wedding party was happy, and if they had a great time. That's all that really matters =)

    BM's wedding in January had board games on each one of the tables as the centerpiece. When things started slowing down a bit, we broke them out and had a fantastic time. They had no alcohol (reception was in the church hall that didn't allow it) but they had a really fun dessert bar and a hot chocolate bar.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from circles82. Show circles82's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    And used rewards points from our credit cards for the flights.
    All the money to pay for the whole thing is in a special savings account.
    Not a dime will go on credit.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from katel. Show katel's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Lots of bartering! My parents own a small marina in Essex, and the caterer, DJ, bartending service, landscaper, all have boats that (luckily for us!) have been having problems recently!!! Good thing my Dad is a good mechanic! FI and I have bought the wine for our wedding over the past year. A few bottles here and there, it's been fun visiting new wine shops, trying out new things, etc., and it saves us from putting out all of the money at once. By chance, lots of our guests own restaurants in our town, and one of them bought us one of our kegs of beer for the reception as a wedding gift! How great is that!?
    Having my dress made, we bought the fabric, seamstress is charging $500 for her time. Invites were our splurge, because we wanted something very specific with custom artwork, but that is ok with us. No wedding party, although I'm getting my sisters and 2 friends small gifts as thank you's for hosting my shower and planning a bachelorette party. Not doing flowers for centerpieces, using platters of fresh fruit instead, using bowls that my mother has (she collects depression and milk glass bowls), ordering fruit from a local wholesale produce company. We skipped favors, ordered a bounce house to keep the children happy (luckily my parent's have a big lawn, and it was only $250 for them to set it up, break it down, and that includes insurance in case it gets popped!). Ordered round and square tables to jazz up the lawn a bit, but there was no difference in price, using colored linen napkins for pops of color on tables (no extra charge for colors, linens through catering company). Photographer is a man we met at a bridal event, we got $200 off for booking after the event, but his top of the line package was only 2K to begin with (8 hours of coverage)...we've been sending him money throughout the year, so he's all paid up and it wasn't a big chunk of cash going out all at once. I think that's all of the money saving tips for now!
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Martha1. Show Martha1's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    It must be said first that I was married late in life (first marriage) at age 47, and my husband was a widower. Therefore, we were not concerned about having videos for our children to have, etc. Nevertheless, we wanted a true wedding, with many of the traditional circumstances and here is how we did it, 12 years ago. It was a beautiful wedding day!

    We used our own cars to arrive at the church and to get to the reception. A friend drove us in her large sedan. We therefore paid nothing for transportation.

    We wanted good photos but felt that a church wedding and a reception should not have hired photographers all around taking videos, marring the beauty and simplicity of the event. It ruins the natural atmosphere, we felt. So, we found a fine portrait photographer, a man who has a degree in photography, and had old fashioned portrait photos taken of us, the small bridal party, my mother (the only living parent) in his actual studio, near the reception hall. The photographs are world class in quality but the total package was only $800! (I made copies of the wedding photos at home, to save money.)

    A friend, who is an experience amateur photographer, took some stills of us before and after the wedding at the church and developed them in his darkroom. This was his wedding present to us (his idea). We had not asked him to do this but the photos were magnificent.

    I had only one bridesmaid, rather, matron of honor, my sister and her daughter was the flower girl, using her recent Holy Communion dress and the ring bearer was my little nephew.

    To save on flowers, I used the best florist around for my white roses cascading bouget, and head ring of flowers and a flower basket for the flower girl, a bouquet for the matron of honor and a coursage for my mother and the groom and the ushers wore a rose in the lapel. We did not order flowers for the church and the restaruant has stock fresh flowers which we used for the recpeption. The floral bill was, I think, about $500 or maybe a little more.

    We hired a Julliard School of Music trumpeter and his colleagues for the violin and organ. Very inexpensive: $250 and they played baroque and other music (our choice - we both know classical music) at the church.

    We hired a friend who is an Irish immigrant singer-musician and he called upon a button accordianist and fiddler, both big names, to play with him at the reception. (Not our request but we were grateful!) First rate music and they charged so little!! $300 is what they wanted. They said it is a chance to play together. Everyone loved them!

    Our reception was at a beloved German-American restaurant in the wedding party room, but we only invited close extended family and very close friends, with all kids most welcome, babies included: 65 people. The bill was $5000 plus tips for a full course dinner with all kinds of appetizers and a wedding cake and wine. I think we also had an open bar, I forget. It was fantastic and the kids had a great time and we felt it was a wedding reception/family reunion at once.

    We did use "correct" formal invitations which we had printed.

    My dress was half price, all raw silk (not synthetic) with bead work, and it was half price at a local small shop, $750 plus I did spend $275 on alterations and more on a veil, shoes and wedding bag.

    We paid for the hotel rooms for the younger families with not much money, as a gift to them. They appreciated this gift. We figure it costs a lot to travel as it is!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from somethingold. Show somethingold's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Sunday 11AM ceremony in roofed pavilion $45

    Officiant was a friend so no fee though we did give him a hefty gc as a thanks still less than a church

    Buffet lunch (smaller poritons than dinner so less cost but plenty of food for refills) at a restaurant with room fee waived

    Open bar, Wine, champagne, beer and two "signature" cocktails

    No champagne toast, toast with whatever you like to drink

    Dress from Nordstrom formals - not wedding so the right size fit and no alterations or needless "wedding" mark up

    Got photog from NE School of photography

    Got DJ from a friend who does event planning so I paid an event price not a wedding price

    Hand picked flowers to decorate the room (everyone's hydrangea, balck eyed susans, daisies, purple cone flowers), potted lavender for centerpieces.

    Tied BMs bouquets ourselves

    Had a garden shop do my bouquet with a max budget of $40

    BMs dresses from a dept store on sale (not a wedding dress store)

    Groomsmen had clothes coordinated by my BIL to include a shirt, tie, socks and stone colored pants that all matched. Each supplied their own navy blazer

    Made our own favors (lavender sachets and little bags of saltwater taffy) for a total of $48 with 84 of each.

    Limited guest count

    Made our invitations (no response cards, separate reception cards or save the dates) no programs either

    Had cupcakes instead of cake - no cutting fee and a much lower cost per serving ($1.75 per cupcake versus $4 min. per slice for cake)

    I didn't intend to have a limo but parents supplied one and I was thankful

    Used restaurant linens, chairs without extra covers, and serving platters for cupcakes they had in house. The restarant also had votives for use free.

    I do think time of day matters for my crowd- which was why i could eliminate hard liquor for the most part and why our entire liquor bill was just over $1000 (by consumption)

    We bought the clothes for the wedding party (at very reasonable prices dresses $24-27, shoes $29 I don't think any component cost more than $30) in lieu of little gift, and since clothes are so traditional, plain sheath dresses, bejewelled sandals and men as described above, everyone has already worn their outfits again. BTW we had 8 jr/bridesmaids, 2 flower girls, one ring bearer and 3 groomsmen. All the girls are children, grand children, nieces of my H or myself. So huge wedding party.

    No rehearsal or rehearsal dinner.

    Did have a helper last couple of days who decorated pavillion and reception. And did a ton of running around for me. Couple of hundred well spent dollars.

    Research is key and this board was immensely helpful. As was short (3.5 week) planning time we cut back because we didn't have time tp do more than we did and yet we and our guests loved our wedding.

    We saved $$ for our guests to - open bar, I requested no shower, bachelorette or bachelor party. No time. After party was in the lounge downstairs from the reception room.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from somethingold. Show somethingold's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Sunday 11AM ceremony in roofed pavilion $45

    Officiant was a friend so no fee though we did give him a hefty gc as a thanks still less than a church

    Buffet lunch (smaller poritons than dinner so less cost but plenty of food for refills) at a restaurant with room fee waived

    Open bar, Wine, champagne, beer and two "signature" cocktails

    No champagne toast, toast with whatever you like to drink

    Dress from Nordstrom formals - not wedding so the right size fit and no alterations or needless "wedding" mark up

    Got photog from NE School of photography

    Got DJ from a friend who does event planning so I paid an event price not a wedding price

    Hand picked flowers to decorate the room (everyone's hydrangea, balck eyed susans, daisies, purple cone flowers), potted lavender for centerpieces.

    Tied BMs bouquets ourselves

    Had a garden shop do my bouquet with a max budget of $40

    BMs dresses from a dept store on sale (not a wedding dress store)

    Groomsmen had clothes coordinated by my BIL to include a shirt, tie, socks and stone colored pants that all matched. Each supplied their own navy blazer

    Made our own favors (lavender sachets and little bags of saltwater taffy) for a total of $48 with 84 of each.

    Limited guest count

    Made our invitations (no response cards, separate reception cards or save the dates) no programs either

    Had cupcakes instead of cake - no cutting fee and a much lower cost per serving ($1.75 per cupcake versus $4 min. per slice for cake)

    I didn't intend to have a limo but parents supplied one and I was thankful

    Used restaurant linens, chairs without extra covers, and serving platters for cupcakes they had in house. The restarant also had votives for use free.

    I do think time of day matters for my crowd- which was why i could eliminate hard liquor for the most part and why our entire liquor bill was just over $1000 (by consumption)

    We bought the clothes for the wedding party (at very reasonable prices dresses $24-27, shoes $29 I don't think any component cost more than $30) in lieu of little gift, and since clothes are so traditional, plain sheath dresses, bejewelled sandals and men as described above, everyone has already worn their outfits again. BTW we had 8 jr/bridesmaids, 2 flower girls, one ring bearer and 3 groomsmen. All the girls are children, grand children, nieces of my H or myself. So huge wedding party.

    No rehearsal or rehearsal dinner.

    Did have a helper last couple of days who decorated pavillion and reception. And did a ton of running around for me. Couple of hundred well spent dollars.

    Research is key and this board was immensely helpful. As was short (3.5 week) planning time we cut back because we didn't have time tp do more than we did and yet we and our guests loved our wedding.

    We saved $$ for our guests to - open bar, I requested no shower, bachelorette or bachelor party. No time. After party was in the lounge downstairs from the reception room.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from donna828. Show donna828's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Look for restaurants that can hold a private event... it's insane to spend $5000 to rent a hotel ballroom just to have a lovely, but ultimately the same wedding that everyone has been to a dozen times. The food will be significantly less, a much higher quality, and most will do a consumption bar... no need to pay per head!
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from circles82. Show circles82's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Interesting that they asked us to post all these great ideas and then come out with an article today that quotes nothing the the Knot.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from hito. Show hito's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    [Quote]I have to disagree with the article's suggestion to have a cash bar and have guests pay for their own drinks. Guests at a wedding are just that: guests. You wouldn't invite people over for dinner at your home and then ask them to fork over money for their beers, and fundamentally, a wedding is no different (albeit on a larger scale). There are lots of alternatives to having a full bar, some of which are listed on this message board. The bottom line is, no matter how limited your budget may be, pay for ALL of your guests' food and drink. It doesn't have to be extravagant, but anything less is in poor taste.[/Quote]

    You may feel it is in bad taste, however, many people do not realize if they have an open bar, they are now responsible for each guest overdrinking. I had my reception at a very nice hotel and they suggested against having an open bar for just this legality reason.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from hito. Show hito's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    [Quote]I think the guests should never have to dip into their pockets to pay for anything at a wedding or any party for that matter, Emily post would be spinning in her grave.

    What brides don't realize is that when guests come to a wedding, many times they come with a blank check. How much they write that check for is often a direct reflection of the level of hospitality.
    [/Quote]
    Now I think that Emily post would spin in her grave to think that a guest gives a gift based on the level of hospitality!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    [Quote]Don't be so sure that Upstate NY is that much cheaper... I'm from that area and my parents insisted it would be cheaper than anything around Boston and that wasn't the case... Cooperstown was significantly more expensive than Salem. In a bigger city with many, MANY more options out there you can do things for less money and better quality.

    The bottom line with wedding guest is that they are guests who have been asked to grace you with their presence... asking them to pay for anything beyond their expenses is tacky. If you have to serve alcohol, cut corners elsewhere or find a venue that accommodates what you want. You might not care about shelling out $20 for drinks, but plenty of others do and you shouldn't have your GUESTS hit the ATM before the reception.[/Quote]

    The point of the reception is to celebrate with the couple in a genuine way. if your first thought is oh crap I have to buy my own drink, then stay home. You are missing the point of going to the wedding. It is not all about how much you can get out of it. Put your own happiness aside for once. No one said you have to hit up the atm if it is a cash bar. drink water or soda if you are too cheap.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from ghotieyes. Show ghotieyes's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    "* No car rentals - taking the T to the wedding in all our finery"

    LOL! Love it, Circles! Dunno if you already had your wedding, but be careful about having your photographer w/ you on the T because photos aren't allowed.

    My moneysavers:
    Dress from Filene's Basement for $250
    Small wedding party
    No floral centerpieces for the reception tables
    Restaurant allowed us to BYOB
    Made my own invites
    Had small ceremony at Larz Anderson park with a $120 permit

    No fancy chairs/covers, charger plates, monogrammed napkins, or any of that other silliness.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    [Quote]Interesting that they asked us to post all these great ideas and then come out with an article today that quotes nothing the the Knot.[/Quote]

    They probably could not access the responses to their post b/c the page was down. AGAIN! lol. :-)
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    [Quote]Frankly I find some of these ideas great and others kind of lame.

    I feel that If you can't do it reasonably well, perhaps cut down your list and all the unecessary extras, or simply elope... or get married at city Hall like one person mentioned.

    I think the guests should never have to dip into their pockets to pay for anything at a wedding or any party for that matter, Emily post would be spinning in her grave.

    What brides don't realize is that when guests come to a wedding, many times they come with a blank check. How much they write that check for is often a direct reflection of the level of hospitality.

    Sometimes it's more and sometimes it's less. so keep that in mind...
    [/Quote]

    What??? That is ridiculous. I am glad none of those people are invited to my wedding.

    anyway, The main thing for us will be excluding the little things that no one will miss -- no flowers on the altar (the bridal party is large, no one will see them anyway), no limo, possibly no favors, one-hour open bar, etc. We also booked a reception in a location that includes the cake, centerpieces, guest book, knives, flutes, card box, so all of that is included in a great price and it takes away a lot of stress!
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Ways I saved a bundle on my wedding:
    *Gown was $99 at David's Bridal sale
    *Veil was $30 off eBay
    *Shoes were $20 off eBay
    *My best friend and I made all of the bouquets out of oragami flowers we made from papers in my colors- People couldn't believe they were not store bought!
    *Made my own center pieces- bought glass bowls, dried shells, starfish, sandollars, decorative potpurri (ocean scent of course!) all from a craft store.
    *Had a friend take a video
    *Had a sleek bob haircut so I could style me own hair
    *Used my iPod Bose system for a dj
    *Bought my favors from oriental trading company- less than $60 total for 200 shell leis!

    I think you should look at bridal magazines for ideas, but don't follow their instructions. Look at the pictures and say "How can I try to re-create this myself and with the help of willing friends?"
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from HappyGardener61. Show HappyGardener61's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    My husband and I exchanged vows before a justice of the peace: no ceremony, no wedding gown, no invitations, no guests, no meal, no flowers, no rings, no honeymoon, no hassles, no worries, no problems. We view marriage as a legal contract plain and simple. Why waste so much money on a legal exercise. We got a marriage license and a justice of the peace. Marriage is supposed to be simple, why complicate it with a ceremony. We both sent an email to our friends and family of the legal transaction. I bet we saved $25,000 which will be invested wisely for the furure. Why people waste so much money is beyong my comprehension. It's time people stop living in la-la land.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from GunghoGuy. Show GunghoGuy's posts

    Best way to save money on a wedding

    Don't get married....don't inherit the life of an indentured mule....divorce rate in the USA is approaching 60%.
     

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