heres one for Friday...

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    Found this in a miss manners column.  Lately it seems like people have been wondering how to address people.  Be careful, some people have a stick up their wazoo like this man  the writer describes..

    Dear Miss Manners:

    On the envelope of the Christmas card I sent to my cousin (whom I rarely see), I omitted "Dr." in front of his name. I instead addressed him as "Mr."

    I didn't intend to offend him. I just meant to send him good wishes for Christmas. Yesterday, I received from him a note that greatly offended me.

    He sent the same thing to my mother, who is 82 years old and a wonderful person and who cares for him very much.

    Enclosed were a copy of his Doctor of Philosophy degree, with "Doctor" and the year circled, and one of an envelope made out to him as "Dr."

    He wrote: "Please note it is standard to use Ph.D. at the end or Dr. in front but not Mr. on the name of a person with a doctorate. You are only ones that use Mr. Thank you."

    I am extremely offended.

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    This guy is a jerk.  If this had happened to me [and after I stopped laughing], I would make it a point to address every future envelope to this guy as Mr.  Anyone who goes to such lenghts to 'correct' someone about their proper title obviously has issues and is insecure.  Esp. considering the fact that the person who made the error was a relation who sent him a Christmas card to wish him a happy holiday! I can see correcting someone if they are physically present and you are introducing them to someone. In such a case, it should be done in a lighthearted manner and w/ a smile.  Also, I only refer to people as Dr. if they have a medical degree.  This guy has a PhD in Philosophy.  Come on!!  I'd be interested to see what Miss Manner's response was. 
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    [Quote]This guy is a jerk.  If this had happened to me [and after I stopped laughing], I would make it a point to address every future envelope to this guy as Mr.  Anyone who goes to such lenghts to 'correct' someone about their proper title obviously has issues and is insecure.  Esp. considering the fact that the person who made the error was a relation who sent him a Christmas card to wish him a happy holiday! I can see correcting someone if they are physically present and you are introducing them to someone. In such a case, it should be done in a lighthearted manner and w/ a smile.  Also, I only refer to people as Dr. if they have a medical degree.  This guy has a PhD in Philosophy.  Come on!!  I'd be interested to see what Miss Manner's response was. [/Quote]

    This was Miss Manners response:

    No, no, it's Christmastime, and your poor cousin doesn't know that in the higher levels of the academic world, it is taken for granted that one has a PhD and considered silly for anyone not in the medical field to use the title of doctor.

    Miss Manners suggests a letter of apology that begins, "Dear Dr. Cousin."

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from jag27. Show jag27's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    Missy - Do you have MM's response?

    I would advise to no longer send Christmas Cards (or any cards) to his cousin since he is being a pompous about his title!  I wonder if his own mother calls him Dr...........
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from jag27. Show jag27's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    Thanks for posting MM's response

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    [Quote]Missy - Do you have MM's response?

    I would advise to no longer send Christmas Cards (or any cards) to his cousin since he is being a pompous about his title!  I wonder if his own mother calls him Dr...........[/Quote]

    Hi Jag, just posted it. 

    Are you actually supposed to call someone who has a phd in philosophy "DR"?  Or is it limited to those in the medical profession?
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    PhD means "Doctor of Philosophy", but not necessarily a degree in philosophy.  I work in biotech and I know of at least a few people who go by "Dr" socially.  I can't tell you what people do in history, literature, economics, etc., but in science it's not unheard of or frowned upon to use doctor socially.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ariel81916. Show Ariel81916's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    For what it's worth, I usually address folks with MDs and PhDs as "Dr. So-and-so" in company (well, usually when I was in school and teachers did bristle a bit at students calling them Mr. or Ms.), but I have read that you're only meant to use Dr. So-and-so on a written address if the person is an MD.

    The guy in the letter reminds me of a post-doc TA I had in college who introduced herself to our lab group not as "Dr. Jane Doe" but rather as "I am Jane Doe, PhD."  We didn't really know what to make of that, but it became a running joke with my friends that continues years later.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Moneypenny424. Show Moneypenny424's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    Agreed, he is a legitimate "Dr." but a total jerk.  I mean, it was a card, not some engraved trophy he was presented with by the governor.  He needs to get over himself.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    [Quote]Hi Jag, just posted it. 

    Are you actually supposed to call someone who has a phd in philosophy "DR"?  Or is it limited to those in the medical profession?[/Quote]


    My grandfather has a Ph.D. in Business and prefers to be addressed as "Dr." and will correct anyone who refers to him as "Mr."  His theory is that he spent a lot of time and effort getting his degree and he is entitled to be addressed as such.  I think it's a bit pompous to insist on "Dr." non-professionally.  If he wants his letterhead to say "Dr." or have items addressed to his office as "Dr." or have his professional memberships under "Dr." I understand.  It's just that when I'm sending a birthday card to "Dr. Grampy" or introducing my friends to him as "Dr. Grampy" that it feels weird (I always warn my friends ahead of time, though).

    I work in science/medicine and many of my friends and people I work with have an MD, a Ph.D or both.  I don't think most of the PhDs worry too much about how they're addressed outside of work.  Professionally, they are "Dr." but I don't think most of them really care all that much personally.  That being said, I did address wedding invitations to the PhDs as "Dr." b/c I know they have a PhD, but I can't imagine them being offended if I had used "Mr." or "Mrs." instead.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from klm44. Show klm44's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    I agree!  My fiance has a PhD in engineering and he is never offended when we receive something in thte mail and he has been addressed as "Mr."  Many of my friends who have sent out invitations in the past have called me to ask how they should address our invite.  Whether Dr or Mr. was more appropriate.  At the end of the day, he worked hard and he can be addressed as Dr. on an invite but I never address him as such socially, etc.  And, for what it's worth, neither does he!
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Bride2B08. Show Bride2B08's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    That is honestly hilarious.  It totally depends on the person - my high school chorus teacher had a doctorate in music, and would freak if anyone called him "Mr." instead of "Dr."  However, my future father-in-law is a Ph.D, and I addressed him as "Dr." when I first met him - he glared at me and (jokingly) demanded that I never do that again.  Regardless, we addressed all our invitations with "Dr." for the Ph.Ds, just to play it safe.  You never know when someone's going to get all touchy and obnoxious about it.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from MM379. Show MM379's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    I work in academia with several Ph.Ds and have an MD and a Ph.D in the family.  I ran into this problem with addressing things at my wedding.  My mother insisted Ph.Ds (including my dad) do not get addressed as Dr. socially, only professionally.  I posted on these boards about it b/c wasn't sure to list them as Dr. and Mrs. or Mr. and Mrs. on the invite also wasn't sure how to address my coworkers on their invitations.  Most people told me my mother's understanding was correct.  I also consulted a few etiquette guides and Crane's.  It seems the general "rule" is professionally, all are doctors.  Socially, Dr. is reserved for those in medicine or dentistry and Ph.Ds are Mr./Ms./Mrs.  I don't always follow such "rules," but generally just try to figure out how people prefer to be addressed.  My dad preferred Mr.  I kept those I work with as Dr. since I know them professionally. 

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from AFallBride. Show AFallBride's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    [Quote]I agree with a pp... this idiot is a pompous *** and has serious insecurity issues[/Quote]

    I agree too. The only non-academics that I know that use the "Dr." title regularly are those who deep down feel they failed by not becoming a tenured professor, no matter how successful they are in their non-academic career. Or they're right out of school. I was guilty of that because I was so excited & proud that I'd finished, but I quickly got over myself and realized that I was being a little silly. Now I only put "Ph. D." after my name in professional situations when it is advantageous to do so. (And it's amusing to see how people's behavior changes when they realize that the woman standing in front of them has both more experience than they realized AND has a Ph. D. in a science that they struggled with in college, but I digress.)
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    heres one for Friday...

    [Quote](And it's amusing to see how people's behavior changes when they realize that the woman standing in front of them has both more experience than they realized AND has a Ph. D. in a science that they struggled with in college, but I digress.)[/Quote]

    Not quite the same thing, but something similar happened to me recently.  I am not a doctor or nurse and have no clinical training whatsoever, but I do have an undergrad degree in biochem and I work at a hospital.  I was visiting an uncle in another state and he introduced me to one of his friends that we ran into while running some errands.  We all got talking and my uncle mentioned that I work at a hospital in Boston blah blah blah...didn't indicate what I do at the hospital...just that I work there.  Well, this gentleman, who is probably in his late 50s/early 60s, started talking about how it always amazed him how the nurses always seem to know more about what's going on than the doctors do etc. etc. 

    So, I didn't really think about it until afterwards, but I realized that he probably assumed I was a nurse at the hospital.  And, of course, I'm not offended that he thought that, it's not an unreasonable  assumption, and a lot of people who don't work in the medical field forget that non-clinical people work at hospitals too.  BUT, I was thinking that I would have been REALLY offended if I were an MD or a PhD-level scientist and he made the assumption that I was a nurse just b/c I'm a woman...not to mention being offended if I were an MD and he were telling me that the nurses know more than I do (MDs don't like to hear that).

    It's just interesting the assumptions people make....
     
Sections
Shortcuts

Share