OT -Making Assumptions

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from sarahbth. Show sarahbth's posts

    OT -Making Assumptions

    This past week it has come up in a couple of posts how insensitive sales people can be, like asking someone who is big through the waist� when they are due, or referring to a bride's mother� with her, when it is her 2-3 year older sister, simply less fit looking.Like most I read them, and groaned, and thought, how can people be so insensitive.� When in doubt - just don't say it.I was shopping last night in one of the few outlet stores centers around here, over 60 in a strip mall style, and cranky because I wanted to get off my feet, and having been to the mall bathroom twice in 1 1/2 hours (no restaurants)� I had to go a third time, and of course the rr is at the extreme� point 3 football fields away.I had a hand� hold on my little sister, who was holding my maternity top hangars, standing at least 10 feet back from the clerk closest to the fitting rooms, with a�45 �inch beachball size belly,� and the clerk looked up, gave me a big smile, and said�� would you like a pillow?� big one or little one?I bit my lower lip so hard I drew blood (I saw later!)� because I really wanted to say, are you blind, stupid, or just rude.� My 7 year old sister piped up - she wants them to fit her now, so she won't need a try-on pillow.Good thing she did. Because the woman then reached out and picked up a folded long cane on the desk,� extended it and �led us to the fitting room.� I realized later when she was doing tags, and writing something on a clipboard,� that she must have tunnel vision, since she held things in a funny position� and turned her head sideways to see print, but needed the cane to not bump racks� �beside or in front of herself when walking.Boy did I feel rude and stupid.�

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from julper. Show julper's posts

    OT -Making Assumptions

    But because you are a considerate person, you DIDN'T say any of that stuff you thought! Good for you! :-)

    I didn't know you are pregnant? Do you post over on the parent boards at all? I'm 24 weeks pg with my first. :-) I'm surprised you don't have more horror stories about shopping for maternity clothes. There are a lot of stick-thin 18-yr-old (looking) cashiers at the Motherhood Maternity store near me. A friend of mine went in there to buy maternity clothes because she is pg. She had a question about sizing and the sales person told her that a lot of plus size women like to wear maternity clothes because they are more comfortable. (!)
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from sarahbth. Show sarahbth's posts

    OT -Making Assumptions

    I try to be considerate, but I really thought she was mocking me, and I did not think.� As is usually the case, a single comment should not be devastating, but I am oversensitive because I feel huge,� who could miss this waddling sea cow.� Frankly, anyone who cannot see my distorted size at 10 feet has more troubles than I do.I post in parenting occasionally, read it more often.� I think I posted here about it when folks were talking about news for families before Thanksgiving.I'm just shy of 30 weeks, with twins, all WNL except the in the fifth month I got huge, I've looked like 7 months since then.� Over 2 months of more than 30 lbs, and 20 inches at the waist larger, and still 2 to go.Hubby has been offered a good position, just 1 1/2 years out of PT grad school, but it means moving early summer.� Good timing, this is a sublet and folks are coming back from the South Pacific.� But due in mid May, means house hunting (to buy) now.� And planning on my not going back to work, so when I leave in April, that is it.� Busy.� Cranky� if I have to drive or sit in one position long, and we have been looking in the Littleton NH� to St Johnsbury VT� area, which is a ways.I don't have many horror stories yet, except (I never posted the story)� over the weekend� after Thanksgiving, at Husband's family home in NJ.� We said nothing for 2 days, quite aware that one sister in law visiting from out of state has been TTC 4 years, finally did and lost it in a car accident last summer, so no one needed to bring it up over the holidays, �Fine with me.�� �MIL pulled me aside after her daughter IL and son flew to Cal.,� she had guessed.�The next day, sitting at the family table, the door flew open, hit the wall so hard it went into the plaster, and hubby's�� soon-to-wed� �brother's fiance is purple and screaming that��� I ruined her year to get married.� It is her year, 2 or 3 of the brothers and sisters and at least 3 first cousins living within blocks have married 3 years in a row.� This is her year, and those of us who went first and got married can't have babies until after August when she gets married.��So she says.�What a Nut.FI is one of 9 with additional 3 older half brothers, all within 15 years, 113 first cousins (not counting husbands and wives) that we counted when wedding planning,� and �all but 5 live within 1/2 hour.�
    She expects her own no�other �weddings, no babies year?�
    Screaming and pulling her hair and telling me I'd have to "move it back after August."� Right.���� After she stormed out, my MIL patted my arm and said,� �remember,�� the crazy is marrying into our family,� no crazy in our genes, so you don't have to worry.�
    Then everyone goes back to eating,�� 20 something for Sunday supper.�
    Inlaws 250 miles away, a nice safe distance.� Soon to be 300 miles.

    Stay healthy.��

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from somethingold. Show somethingold's posts

    OT -Making Assumptions

    Here's the thing about assumptions, they are a necessity - we need to assume whether a drive rwill cross into our lane, we need to assume whether a stranger getting into the elevator might be unsafe.� It's what we do even when we read we assume what a word is based on the first and last letters we don't read the whole thing and this makes us more efficient and safer.� So it is not assumption that is bad, it is assumption on top of common sense that is the offender.� And you Sarabeth, maintained common sense and didn't go speaking your mind despite your assumption.� So you are okay.� PS my 5'2"�friend had twins 13 years ago.� She felt super�big and wouldn't go out of the house.� So you're doing great continuing with your life and hopefully enjoying the fact that your body is caring for your babies!� My friend carried twins to full term - so I am wishing you the same.� Good luck!

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from bell500. Show bell500's posts

    OT -Making Assumptions

    i thought i was the only one who didn't get it.� what did the lady do that was offensive???

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from foolforfood. Show foolforfood's posts

    OT -Making Assumptions

    Thank god you two chimed in, b/c I too have no clue what happened to the OP.�

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from sarahbth. Show sarahbth's posts

    OT -Making Assumptions

    When you try on maternity clothes, if you are very early in pregnancy, they will offer you a pillow with a velcro belt, so you can put it on, then try on clothes -� and these come in different sizes, so� if you are 3 months and small, and want to get dresses for 5 months and 8 months,�� you can see roughly will they fit, gape over stomach, have a hem that is right.If I had a single pregnancy, most people would say I am as big as you get,� I'm pretty huge even for twins at only seven months, now 35 lbs and a 22 inch larger waist than 4 months ago.� She had a big pillow the size of a big sit on pillow and wanted to know if I wanted to strap it on, which would make me bigger around the waist than I am tall, elsewhere a size 4.� Why would I want that pillow.� So I thought she was making fun or how humungous I am 3 people in stores yesterday assumed I was due this week,� and she wants to know if I want a pillow to� pretend to be bigger?My� 7 year old� sister caught on (by her folded long cane on desk)� that she was blind or seriously visually impaired.� She did not realize I'm huge, she just offered me what she offers everyone.� So my sister answered the real question - I did not need a pillow because I was not buying for the future when I might get bigger, I was buying to fit me now.

    I was this far from insulting her, thinking she was giving me a hard time.� But that is generally not my nature, and short tempered as I was yesterday, thank heavens I said nothing and just bit my lip �(except today my lower lip looks like I was punched.)Too late, �I realized, watching her, she has some kind of tunnel vision, like looking through a roll of paper with 1 eye, seeing only what is there in the circle, nothing above, below, of on the sides.� Possible to look at my face and not see my huge belly.For those who may not know, a long cane is about 40 inches, can be pulled apart in sections so it folds to 8� inches� with elastic through all sections, so when you pickit up it snaps together, you move it in front of you and / or to the sides, if you cannot see in front at floor level, or on either side.� She used it to go between racks and not walk into them, I said in the first post,� but I assumed everyone knew what a long cane, folded, meant - usually at least legally if not totally BLIND

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from sarahbth. Show sarahbth's posts

    OT -Making Assumptions

    To be blunt, crude, but concise-� When someone looks straight at you , and misses something obvious, the first thing to come to mind is,� What are you, blind?�Yes.� She was blind.� What was my excuse- pregnant does not excuse rude.

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from sarahbth. Show sarahbth's posts

    OT -Making Assumptions

    Will you give door to door service,�bathroom to bathroom across NH?� I accept.Can I ride in the shopping carts?Fri the Dr decided on another ultrasound, to check why I am carrying so out there.At 7, sis convinced Dad going with me would be an educational experience worthy of missing a day's school.� She would happily be my keeper for the next 2 months, but 3rd grade calls.� So she has this am's ultrasound picture for show and tell.Both little squirts are curled like sitting with their heads up and out front under my breasts, feet down and back to my spine.� While we watched, one took it's�thumb out of it's mouth, reached up with raised� right �fist ,and� kicked me in the kidney with the left foot.� As I felt it, it became clear why I have been feeling like I am getting kicked in the kidney,� Inches away, but enough sharp push on the uterine wall to put pressure on.Well over 2 lbs each, they guesstimate.I definately need a keeper.

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from julper. Show julper's posts

    OT -Making Assumptions

    Sarahbth, congrats on your pregnancy, and sorry I didn't remember from Thanksgiving! (I told my family about my pregnancy on Thanksgiving too). Sorry your future sister-in-law is so crazy!! Glad your DH's family is all sane. :-)

    Wow, house shopping while pregnant with twins must be difficult and frustrating! I hope you find someplace wonderful to live with your two little ones.

    I will stop complaining about feeling huge, being only 5 mos pregnant with one baby, since I know you are suffering so much! I hope those babies turn around soon and at least stop kicking your kidneys!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from sarahbth. Show sarahbth's posts

    OT -Making Assumptions

    Red,� I do appreciate your good wishes for my pregnancy, and my sanity!I also appreciate your coming to my defense,� but waggie sounds more fierce than she is.���� Though I would never really want to cross her, or go after someone she is defending� or taking care of.�� She's like a cuddly mother bear with cubs.� Don't mess with the cubs, and she'll share her honey.And in this wilderness of no takeout for miles and miles in the evening, who else would send over full� meals ready to pop in the oven at the end of a long workday for me and hubby (she's off sick),� or come to let the dogs out on a day that is 10-12 hours� long� �because of an appt, and run 3 loads of laundry and� vac or wash all the floors in the house,� while the dogs are playing in the snow.���� (�Since I can barely bend to the floor, and getting up would require a crane, I look at 1800 square feet�� of mostly carpeted floors� and 2 dogs (hair, toys)� like the enemy.)� Leaving a couple of fruit pies cooling on the counter.� Or egg custard, a cheese cake,�� and a jar of her Mom's� cherries in almond syrup in the fridge,�� to go on the cheesecake!� Which hubby� and I discovered�near midnight �one night last week.There are� an awful lot of nice people who post on these boards.� I appreciate all your kindnesses.
    Now, to go conquer the world� of work.� Giving notice, yahoo.�

     

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