OT- Need support or just some platitudes
posted at 11/12/2007 4:00 PM EST
dear "clem" (this is how I think of you...)
Supporting your DH and helping him care for his mom through her illness, whatever the outcome may be, could be the best thing that ever happened to you!
I know you've heard my story a zillion times, but DH and I had been together over 10 years when I brought my mom home to live with us because of her advancing Alzheimers. When she could no longer stay alone for any period of time, he quit his job to stay home with her. (We had to, I make more $$ than he does.)
He cared for her so lovingly and sweetly, it truly made me see him in a whole new light. (Although it was hard as hell, we aren't saints, and I would drive around and scream at the top of my lungs sometimes.)
But when she died, we both were satisfied knowing we had done our best to make sure her last years were safe and happy ones.
We have a lot of similar traits, I think, and for me, fear of the unknown was one of the hardest things to deal with. What's going to happen next? Is today going to be a good day or a bad day? Do we dare make plans to go out to dinner a month from now?
My advice: if the news is what you think it will be, get involved with a hospice organization as soon as you can. Your MIL doesn't have to be on death's door for you to get help and services. They are professionals and will have great advice and suggestions. For everyone that volunteers to help, say, yes. Cry a lot - it does help. And we're always here when you need us!
Much love and lots of hugs,