Tasteful Hawaiian Themed Rehearsal Dinnr

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from hughkona. Show hughkona's posts

    Tasteful Hawaiian Themed Rehearsal Dinnr

    Hey gang. My FMIL wants to plan a rehearsal dinner for about 60 people. Everyone who is either in the bridal party or coming in from out of town will be invited. It seems to be too big of a group to have at a restaurant since most places only have small event rooms. Apparantly she has looked.

    My vision of a rehearsal dinner is formal, contemporary, and chic. High heels, dark suited men, and everyone in tables in front of us so we can present the gifts and make announcements. Perhaps this is just not possible with such a large group.

    She wnats to have the dinner at her small home in the woods up in Nashua. They are willing to pay for the tent, tables, and a catering company and "do it right". I am picturing folding chairs (yuck) and BBQ! This would be fine for a housewarming party, but I just picture it more formal than this for the wedding. Everyone tells me to just bud out and let her plan it, but I cant help it~ its my wedding and I want to be able to spend my efforts planning fun things like the dinner and the shower even! I know, am I a bridezilla or something? Gluing all the invitations together is NOT fun, and this IS fun, so I'd love to help her plan it.

    My questions: a) Is it rude to help her plan the dinner?

    b) Is it possible to have a formal affair for 60 ppl in a house (and yard)?

    c) How about a theme? I was thinking since our honeymoon is in Hawaii, of having a luau type theme with tiki torches, leis, and big buckets of drinks and perhaps some specialty cocktails like a "Blue Hawaaian" "Lava Flow", etc. Can this be done in a non-tacky way?

    d) Should I drop this hope of a RD being formal? I realize its a personal choice, but I guess it is true that most people will be coming from the hotel to the event, not from the church (rehearsal) so the dress could go either way (formal or casual)

    e) How do you term a khakis and skirt attire? Casual? Casual Formal?

    Any advice you smart gals have would be faaaaaaaantastic!! :)

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Tasteful Hawaiian Themed Rehearsal Dinnr

    I'm following your vision, a candlelight, contemporary restaurant. Everyone dressed up. All the 60 guests having a lovely time at your elegant party. And then you break out the leis and mai-tais?

    I can't imagine a Hawaii-themed party in the same place as elegant and contemporary. A Hawaii-themed party just begs to be on the "fun and casual" side.

    I know you are the bride and you have ideas of how you would want things, but I have to be very honest with you. You are an extremely lucky woman to have FILs who are willing and able to host an RD for 60 people. Doing a tented dinner party at their home will be very expensive, probably more so than in a restaurant.

    You will be a bride for one day, but you will be a daughter-in-law for many years. Please think about this as you consider how it might hurt your FIL's feelings if you criticize their plans. Just as you don't get to choose the kind of shower that might be hosted for you, you really shouldn't have any say about the RD except to be an appreciative and gracious guest of honor.

    Why don't you plan to have your elegant Hawaii party for your first anniversary and let your FILs do their own thing.

    I hope you take this in the spirit it's given. It's not meant to be mean, just to give you something to think about.

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Tasteful Hawaiian Themed Rehearsal Dinnr

    What a great guy! He's just going by the "nobody wears white except the bride" rule!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Tasteful Hawaiian Themed Rehearsal Dinnr

    Please take a deep breath and let your FMIL plan her rehearsal dinner. It is her privilige to do this for her sone and his bride and their guests. A tented back yard party can be very elegant. Simply find the cutest sun dress ever made and enjoy the evening.

    a) Is it rude to help her plan the dinner? - not if she wants your help.

    b) Is it possible to have a formal affair for 60 ppl in a house (and yard)? Of course!! People have wedding receptions and other events in tents all the time.

    c) How about a theme? I was thinking since our honeymoon is in Hawaii, of having a luau type theme with tiki torches, leis, and big buckets of drinks and perhaps some specialty cocktails like a "Blue Hawaaian" "Lava Flow", etc. Can this be done in a non-tacky way? - It can - but it won't be formal.

    d) Should I drop this hope of a RD being formal? I realize its a personal choice, but I guess it is true that most people will be coming from the hotel to the event, not from the church (rehearsal) so the dress could go either way (formal or casual) - If the wedding is formal - it is almost redundant to have a formal rehearsal dinner - why not enjoy the difference?

    e) How do you term a khakis and skirt attire? Casual? Casual Formal? - You don't. You define the party - barbecue? luau? dinner? dinner-dance? and people dress accordingly.

    c'mon - let her have her fun and you have yours planning your formal, high-heels optional, wedding reception. (I've planned four dinfferent rehearsal dinners and attended many - they can be anyform - from restaurant formal to pizza at home - a tent reception really DOES sound very elegant.)

     
Sections
Shortcuts

Share