After Divorce, buy or rent?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from BigWillie2. Show BigWillie2's posts

    After Divorce, buy or rent?

  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    Hi Big Willie.  Well, I'm not divorced, but my DH is military, so I'm familiar w/ the need to move quite a bit.  Basically, unless you know you are going to in the same place for at least 5 years, it does not make sense to buy.  You have closing costs on both ends if you buy, sell and buy again.  Also, the chances of you not losing money [no matter what the economy and house prices] if you move before at least 5 years is up is very high.  I say rent.  There are plenty of smaller landlords who have townhouses or smaller apt buildings, where you really aren't dealing too much w/ nosey neighbors. Before we got married, my DH lived in Cambridge [about 5 minute walk from Harvard Square] in a great 4 unit old Victorian that had been converted. There was parking and tons of privacy, and he had 2 floors to himself w/ tons of room.  So there is plenty out there if you are willing to look around.  Also, there is something to be said for being able to just pick up a phone if there is a problem and having someone else magically take care of it.  Good luck!
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    Hi, Big, Sorry to hear the end is in sight. That was the lowest part of my whole life when it happened to us. (Take heart, I've been happily remarried 5 months, now, after vowing I'd NEVER date again.) When we divorced, I rented, and I'm glad I did. I never thought I'd want the flexibility to remarry, but I did know I was an emotional mess and making a big, long-term decision like that mid-divorce was the worst thing I could have done. I used the time renting to look at condos (the market wasn't so good then, but that is immaterial to the spirit of my response). Rent for a year and see where you are emotionally then. I had met someone who had built his own home, and now I'm happily married and living there. :)
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    LOL on 1952.

    I don't think prices are going to skyrocket anytime soon.  Not for several years at least. 
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    I hear and understand your concern, but I agree that the market isn't going to skyrocket any time soon.

    About your "never, never, never" - I said it, too, and meant it 1000%.  You never know.

    And, even if you don't remarry, you may find that your life needs a total overhaul, not just a breakup.  New job?  New location in the country?  You'll find this year to be a year of healing and discovery.  Embrace it.

    You cannot embrace it if you are locked down to a mortgage right away.  You have got to give yourself time to recover before you make that decision regardless of what the market may do.

    Take care of yourself and your needs.  Buying a house is more than a cold investment.  It's a decision that will influence the rest of your life.  Much like a marriage.  Look at it like a rebound relationship; they never last.
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    Hey Big Willie.  Yes, let's talk about you.  :-)  I hate to say it, but Lowell would scare me.  I had to go to Lowell for work on occasion [in the downtown, Lower Locks area] and I HATED it.  The garage near the district courthouse is one of the scariest, coldest places on earth.  I took a wrong turn once in the Lower Locks area and was seriously scared.  I had to ask someone for directions, and drove for a bit until I saw a guy in a suit w/ a briefcase, and even then I was very nervous stopping even at 8.30 in the AM.  I am typically not easy to scare.  I don't think it helped that it was Monday - all of the people arrested over the weekend and being arraigned and those showing up for supplemental process [already lost their case and were being dragged back into court for collection proceedings] were roaming the area.  lol.  If you are dating someone who grew up in that neck of the woods, then you may not get the same reaction that I had.   

    I'm not being snobby {I don't think, though I will admit to being total whitebread}. Lynn does not have the same impact on me.  I had no problem w/ Lynn and I think parts of it can be scarier than Lowell.  I'd keep looking for a rental. You might get lucky w/ a house rental.  With all of the places up for sale that aren't moving, you should be able to get a deal.  We currently rent a house, and the rent is not that much more than what DH was paying for a Cambridge 2 bedroom apt.  Granted, we are in S. Maine [he works in NH], but we have a 3 bedroom house w/ a huge yard and deck and view of the water for about what he was paying for an apt in the city.   And bear in mind that a rental is not permanent. You can look for better, cheaper and more permanent digs while you are renting. 
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    Will living in downtown Beirut - I mean Lowell - seriously impact my ability to lure pretty young things back to my lair?  I'm hoping it adds a dash of danger to spice things up.  The Sage knows the answer, I'm sure of it.
    Posted by BigWillie2

    My FI lived in Lowell when I met him.  He lived at Loft 27 (Jackson st., I think).  I had to either park on the main street or in a garage - both options a little bit of a walk from his building.  He always (the entire time we dated and he lived there) would have me call him when I was near and he would walk out to wherever I was parking to meet me and walk me in.  Same thing whenever I left.  So Lowell, although scary sometimes, is not a dealbreaker.  And they actually have some decent restaurants.  And the canals are pretty.

    Good luck!
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lukes58. Show lukes58's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    my boyfriend/husband lives/lived in lowell - he does a curator thing for the gate keepers house -- lowell can be scary but its not that bad -- i was never afraid there -- they have asian gangs but they only hurt each other -- i've never felt unsafe there -- i think lynn is way more scary -- i'm from the north shore and actually born in lynn -- you got a lot of kids from the university too -- there's a lot of homeless people down by the river over at bridge street i think - but they are harmless too -- i wouldn't not buy there if its only the safety factor you are thinking of -- they have a lot of ethnic areas and great hole in the wall ethnic restaurants -- french, porteguese, asian, brazilian

  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    If I were to like a guy, learning that he lived in Lowell would give me pause, I have to admit, but it would not be a stop sign.  I wouldn't dismiss you as undatable because of it; I'd be as wary about that as everything else in a new relationship.

    I really never thought I'd date again let alone get remarried.  I had to eat crow with all my friends that I told, "Never, never, never, again," but crow isn't always so bad, after all.  Depends on how it's prepared and what is served with it.

    Best to you, Will. 


  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    Hey Big Willie,

    Pick up a Saturday night special to go w/ the flack jacket and you'll be good to go.  lol.  Congrats on making a decision.

  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from bolter. Show bolter's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    Somebody get me a flack jacket, I'm going in!  Well, that's the plan.  Still haggling over finances since technically I'll be on the hook for 2 properties for a while.  And I'll be low-balling my offer.  So plenty can go still go wrong.  I guess this means tru won't be coming to visit, but she doesn't talk to me anymore anyway.
    Posted by BigWillie2

    she dosnt talk to you cuz you dont tell her what she wants to hear
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    I think I'll forgo the Saturday Night Special and remember to always wear my running shows ALF. And kar I'd have to know someone for a bit before I'd be inviting them back anyway, unlike those guys that tru attracts.  To distract them I'll just lay on an extra layer of charm as we duck and weave from the garage to the penthouse.
    Posted by BigWillie2

    Oh, yeah, I didn't mean to imply I thought you should bring them back to show them your place right away.  Build the relationship - if she likes you, I'm sure what town you live in isn't going to be a show stopper no matter what town it is.  And, if it is, what kind of woman is that?  Would you want to date her anyway?
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    LOL!  Who can resist a man with silk pyjamas and a penthouse?  All you need to complete your look is a red velvet smoking jacket and you'll have no trouble, Big Willie, esp. if you pick up  the check.  :-)  Just don't get an orange tan a la George Hamilton. 
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from BlueOnTheDole. Show BlueOnTheDole's posts

    Re: After Divorce, buy or rent?

    Will, you're reeeeallly beginning to get on my nerves.  Why don't you see this whole thing as a great opportunity?  What a chance you have to make your life so much better than it was.  Stop your whining.  Or is all the whining solely to attract attention?  

    I know what people go thru after divorce, they feel, kinda, well, worthless (not that they should).  For crying out loud, understand what you have to offer and get off the pity pot.

    Rent until you're ready to buy.  Buying is too much of a big decision for you right now.  Find a cheap place near your job that won't mind your crappy guitar playing, singing and gay sneakers.  Totally only kidding.

    Farm animals would be a plus.

    Blue On The Pineapple Dole!